laconic • t.nott ✓

39 ➺ friend and boyfriend

「 FRIEND AND BOYFRIEND 」

THEO'S FEARS TURNED OUT TO be unfounded.

Despite their confessions of love and despite the highs and lows their relationship has gone through, their friendship remained intact. They continued to share a bed every night and the awkwardness that had prevailed on that pivotal night on top of the Astronomy Tower has ceased to exist. They attended classes together, sat next to each other during dinner (where they were now being served stale rice with potatoes), and visited the Astronomy Tower which has become their favourite haunt. They both agreed that this is the place they would miss the most after leaving school.

Blaise went to the library a couple of times a day to study but Theo preferred studying in the common room. After a while, Blaise stopped going too and most nights when Theo was unable to sleep, they stayed awake by the fire and recounted their childhood days which they would soon be leaving behind.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" asked Theo one such night. He was sprawled by the fire with a book in front of him and Blaise was on the sofa with his legs folded.

"Tell you what?" asked Blaise nonchalantly, feigning an innocent look that did not fool Theo. He scowled.

"You know what."

Blaise turned his face blank and shook his head. Theo wanted to toss his book at him but he didn't really want to ruin the already worn pages.

"That - you know," he faltered, waving his hands around aimlessly. He knew he was blushing - Blaise always somehow managed to rile him up with the least efforts. "That you -"

"That I'm in love with you?"

Theo choked on his words and turned into a blubbering mess. As much as he liked Blaise's straightforwardness, at times it made him suffer in the most painful of ways. Why did he have to say it like that?

Not that Theo didn't enjoy hearing it. The first time he said it, Theo had been too preoccupied with anger to register the significance of his words or to even believe them. After that, Blaise had said it only once, when he accused Theo of being too childish and Theo offhandedly said, "You love me." And Blaise, as calm as he was, promptly replied, "I do," to which Theo positively melted.

Now, it was a different matter. Theo was trying to make conversation. He had asked a very significant question and Blaise had no right to incapacitate him with a mere few words. Besides, they were trying to study for the NEWTs; Theo needed a clear head for that.

He pulled the book closer to him and stared hard at the words on its pages, trying to focus. He hoped the firelight would keep Blaise from seeing the colour on his face - not that he had ever been able to hide anything from him. Feeling Blaise's eyes on him, he muttered, "Yes. That."

Blaise slid down from the sofa to sit next to him on the floor. "Why didn't you tell me?" he countered.

"I thought -" he began, then paused and cleared his throat. He tried to think of a way to say it without offending Blaise. "I thought you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. That you would feel strange, uncomfortable around me." He paused to look at Blaise. "What about you?"

Blaise stared intently at the fire as he answered, "I never dreamed you'd love me back. I'd kind of accepted it as an unrequited feeling. I thought I'd just keep it inside me and it would go away."

Theo straightened. "So you never would have told me if I hadn't told you first?"

"Probably not." Blaise gave a small smile.

Theo crawled over to sit beside him, leaning against the sofa. "You know I don't agree with something you said that day."

"What is it?"