𝐾𝐸𝐸𝑃𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐼𝑇 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐿 2(Philia)

75

Aria
I sat on the studio couch sleeping for the third night in the row we were in the studio I was tired as hell but had to be here to support my man threw anything
In the day time we slept in the hotel but cause ke had to have this album finished by Friday night he was going in with only 1 song left to record he was doing pretty good

The studio was empty tonight with just us and the producer I got to meet nas yesterday and that was amazing to meet a rap legend was fucking crazy I missed my kiddos doe I tell you that much I missed my lol chicken nuggets I was on the phone with them 10 minutes ago as they played kyla loved her new walker that ke bought her and she was zooming threw Bully's hallways since they were with Bree till we got back

I listened to ke spit and just tried to go back to sleep but my stomach started to hurt I turned over on the couch and felt like I had to throw up I got up and sped walked out the booth and out the studio room and went down to the bathroom I got to a stale and let all that go

I finished and flushed the toilet I washed my mouth out and put two pieces of gum from my sweater pocket in my mouth why the hell was I throwing up now all of a sudden I wasn't feeling all to great but it was prolly cause the lack of sleep and the fast food and shit I had been eating to subdue as meals

I walked out the bathroom and ke was in the hallway
You good baby"
Yea just don't feel to good"
You need to go get some medicine something"
Nah I'm ok baby imma just sleep it off lemme know when you done"
Im rapping it up now I'll finish tomorrow lemme get you back to the hotel"

I sat down getting my purse together an I put his chain box in my bag and sat down on the couch as he wrapped shit up with the producer I checked my head and it won't a fever cause I won't hot I'll just stop at the cvs and get some stuff for this

Come on mama"
We left out the studio and walked to the car an got in
Can you take me to cvs"
Gotchu"
I turned the radio up and texted tae letting him know we was on the way back to the hotel you know just letting my Bestfriend know what I was up to

-You ok-
-yea tae I'm fine just threw up thoe-
-awe shit it's one or two things-
-ya sick or bitch it's finna be baby number foe-
-tae ion think I'm pregnant-
-bitch you better see to be sure-
-I'll get a test at the cvs we finna go to-
-aight get you some crackers a liter or ginger ale and a lil aspirin an clear that right on up-
-you a damn mess love you boo-
-love you to lemme know what happen-

Baby what you think about another kid right now"ke said out the blue and I coughed a lil bit
Ion know ke im not really ready for another baby"
Aight I had this on my chest today and ion want you to take nothing from it"
What is it"
I know I said I ain't want no more till after we married but baby I gotta feel this empty gap in my heart"

I sighed wiping over my face I knew he was taking the baby's death harshly but I couldn't just have another baby just so he can't forget or close up the fact that we lost a child

Ke having another baby isn't gonna kill the fact that we lost one"
I can't deal with this shit it's in my mind twenty four seven all day everyday my kid gone...like forreal never coming back ion know what to do ma"
Ion know what to do either ke I don't I'm taking it in the best I can"
I feel like you took it in easier then me and it's hard cause it's my first but baby I ain't ready to heal from this"

I didn't know what to say cause I wanted to cry just thinking about laying on that floor bleeding out emons laugh echoed in my mind and I felt myself crying ke pulled into the cvs and i wiped my face and got out going inside

I wiped my face clean of tears at least I tried I picked up the other stuff before I finally got to the pregnancy test I stopped and bit my lip I didn't know weather to get it or not I touched one and instantly put it back I can't do it I can't

I picked up some snacks and stuff and checked out
Your ari right"the worker said scanning my stuff
Yea"
Can I get a picture"
Sure"

I took my shades off and she turned for the picture after it was taken she finished bagging my stuff up and smiled
That'll be 32.26"
I handed her my card and she handed it back with the receipt and I grabbed the bags leaving out
I looked at the car with ke inside and put my shades back on and put the stuff in the backseat I closed the door and hoped back in and ke drove off

I texted tae
-taeee-
-did you get the test yet-
-i couldn't buy it-
-why was ke all on you bout it-
-no tae something just stopped me from buying it-
-when you come home-
-Saturday but we gotta talk-
-aight text be before you go to bed-
-aight-