𝐾𝐸𝐸𝑃𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐼𝑇 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐿 2(Philia)

61

Kenen
I wrapped my arms around aria kissing her neck slowly just to keep her calm while she slept my arm stayed on her stomach as she was burried in my stomach this past year has taken a huge impact on our relationship really and I ain't know how to tell her about me and her actually losing a kid

She had forgotten or just blocked it out the pass two days since she opened up to us she was talking more but never brought up the miscarriage I was having trouble with it as a man I was supposed to stay strong threw this but it was hard knowing that I lost a kid and my spouse wasn't saying anything about it to make me feel better or help me cope with it

My only way of coping was rubbing and holding her stomach I pushed her hair out her face and starred at her till the bruises disappeared from her face in my mind I seen my future wife I reached in my pocket and pulled out something I Been wanting to give her since the day I got out I slid the ring on her finger and it fit prefect this wasn't a rush into marriage just let her know I still was deeply in love with her even if she's been threw hell

I'm not running from her problems I'm in this threw any and everything this my forever girl i swear and imma do everything to protect her and love her
She moved around in my arms and her eyes opened and she looked at me and smiled then yawned

Morning"I said and she smiled
Morning were you staring at me"
You know it"
stoppit I'm ugly"she said frowning
I kissed her slowly
Don't ever say that Your beautiful"
Look at my face ke be serious"
Those are minor blemishes that can never hide your true beauty mamas"

She blushed an touched my face rubbing it
Ke baby how did you feel when you picked me up off that floor"
Um a nigga ,felt broken it was a lot of anger and defeat that I felt it was hard for me to see you like that an I froze up but I knew I had to get you help as soon as I could"
Do you see me as less of a women after I let him beat me"
No I see you more as a warrior then a women you survived and you concurred your biggest fear and most importantly you survived"

I couldn't help but be Upset with myself because you taught me how to defend myself and I didn't use any of the moves"
That's because you had a flight reaction ion think you'd be alive right now if you fought back honestly who knows ya feel me"
Yea.."she said looking down
But I seen you rock his ass when he tried to pull you from me"

She lightly chuckled and smiled
How's your chest"
Imma live I'm good"
I really thought I lost you"
I almost gave up when he took you out that door but I knew I had to save you cause I can never give up on our love I got up bleeding and all and took the bullets out"
Wait you did ya own surgery"
Yea took them bullets out bully helped me out a bit and then I had the doctor stitch my head up and we went looking I knew you'd be back in my arms safe no matter what"

I'm glad I'm in your arms and not anyone else's I'm truly thankful"she smiled and hugged me I kissed her cheek and she pulled away
Why do you keep touching my stomach ke"she said out the blue
I-"
Please tell me the truth I feel like your hiding something everyone is"

I bit the inside of my cheek and closed my eyes sighing I pulled her into me some more and kissed her forehead
You had a miscarriage"
A-a-again"she chocked out
Yea"I said getting emotional I felt her crying and I held onto her letting out some tears myself

I'm sorry I'm so sorry"
A bitch would say that it was her fault she lost the baby because she didn't tell me that she was going threw this but I didn't blame her I just had to hold her close to me and prey so we could both get threw this it wasn't nobody but one persons fault
I didn't know I was pregnant"she said forcing words out and crying

Its ok baby...it's ok"I said kissing her forehead "we gonna get threw this......I promise"
I let her cry into my chest until she was done didn't know she had been threw this before and a second time at the hands of the same person was gonna hurt her even more

God, I feel so weak and tired because of my pregnancy loss grief. Please give me the strength to keep engaging with the emotions, with life and with the pain towards the healing of my heart. Please give me the strength to say yes to the things I need to do, and no to the things I don't god protect aria me hold her close to your heart so she can heal and grow from this provide her with strength God, sometimes it is so hard to not be discouraged when life seems to be shattered The hurt and pain that comes from losing a child is unbearable some days. Although I know her heart will never fully be healed from the loss of or baby, will you please give them an extra dose of strength today? Will you remind us that they don't have to fear the future because you are right by our side? Thank you for the way you help us and strengthen us during our heartache amen"I said and rubbed her back as she started to calm down
Sometimes I feel like all I need is your love to make my dark days bright"she said

All I need is you forever"I said and lifted her hand up so she could now see the ring
Ke what's this"she said wiping her face
It's not a rush for marriage but I want you to know we can still move forward in our lives threw whatever me or you go threw and I want you to have my last name will you marry me"
Yes"she said and hugged me I wiped her face with my shirt and hugged her tight

We gonna shine bright threw all this baby"