One last chance

chapter 19

[Mbalenhle]
For the past week the words had been ringing on my mind, I kept hearing his voice over and over again it was a had pill to fathom, why was I being punished exactly, it was at that moment when he threatened Lwethu that I finally saw the father gap, it was then that I saw my past mistake catching up with me, constant bad things had been occurring on my life and life was hard on me then after everything I've been through it laughed right on my face, wasn't it a coincidence that I was in a place that brought memories, I was lucky because Mo gave me a month to think about everything, I had three options here in my situation, it was either I do as Mo say risk yet another years of my life and lose yet again my Lwethu , two I let him do as he please with Lwethu if I don't do what he wanted which wasn't a option I even thought of considering or three I go to the police who are on Mo's payroll , I must admit the offer was tempting , the money would do me great but I've learnt the hard way on making fast cash, I couldn't understand why Mo insisted on making my life hard, as long as Mo had a leverage on me I knew I would dance to his tunes, I knew I had no option as long as he had that, its true when they say ,when it rains it pours and when it stops you see the rainbow, but at this exact moment it wasn't just raining for me ,it was drizzling , at this point it made me wonder exactly would I find happiness, at this point I was a 31 year old with no direction in life, my life was going in circles.

“why agree to have lunch with me if you'll poke your food and let me talk alone" I raised my head looking at him, he had made it easier for me to be comfortable around him, he had showed me in more than one way that he cared about me, at this point I took him as a brother towards me ,he was a guardian angel, he showed me how much he cared.

“am sorry just the is a lot on my mind" I  said at that earning a nod from him, he dropped the fork on the table and wiped his mouth with the napkin provided , when he was done he clasp his hands together, something about his eyes, his smile was too familiar towards me.

“look Mbalenhle clearly you have a lot on your plate to deal with and I understand how hard it is, you feel pity for yourself and bury yourself in a pool of your sorrows but truth is this is a real world if you don't take action, if you don't man up and stand strong no one will for you, if you not doing it for yourself do it for your daughter, face your fears, dare yourself and make your own results don't expect someone to rescue you because no one will, people will help you sink deeper instead of otherwise, don't find a easy way out take your pace to find a way out” he said leaning forward I dropped my fork too as his eyebrows tensed “can I ask" he asked I knew I wouldn't like the question.

“what” I asked shrugging my shoulders he brushed his knuckles before putting his knuckles under his chin balancing himself up, he was a little hesitant at first, I could see him contemplating but he eventually open his mouth.

“what happened to Lwethu's father” he asked choosing his words correctly my mood went out of the window in that instant I don't know something about the topic made my inside burn in fury.

“why are you asking” I avoided answering and being judged , I hoped he saw that I didn't want to talk about it but clearly I was wrong because he probe further.

“well…” he started before shifting uncomfortably on his chair, seeing him that way made me curious  “because…” he continued before exhaling “ well okay its just that I couldn't help but wonder" he stated I knew he wasn’t completely honest.

“I don't want to talk about it" I said dismissive silence engulf us for few minutes.

“it took time to recognize you Enhle because it had been long ,since the moment I first saw you when I came to your home, you looked quite familiar and your name rang a bell a little but I didn't know where I knew you, it finally clicked the night of the opening party , deep down I didn't want to believe it, I kept convincing myself otherwise last night part of the reason why I ask you out on lunch I know we had unprotected sex" he started before taking a deep breath “ I know this because after that night I looked for you, I pretty much  at first convinced myself maybe you took morning after when you sneaked out but after a while I just couldn't risk it, a part of me had caught feelings after that night hence I tried looking for you, but your friends told me they don't know where you went so I just gave up then now I just want to know is she mine" he asked I kept quite for few minutes trying to fathom what he said, its funny that he said my friends, I finally get it Tshenolo, Onalenna and Siwaphiwe weren't my friends, from this day I swore on my life to burn them, well I did a long time  but today I make sure I mean those words, before I could stop myself I stood up, leaving everything behind and Qhawe talking my mind wasn't on this ,or what he said, the possibility of being Lwethu's father was laced at the back of my mind but his words continuously rang on my mind .

“no one will rescue you" what he said continuously rang on my mind he was right I needed to stand up for myself, I knew I had one shot in life and I had to use it wisely, I knew I couldn't afford to mess everything up.
[Sindiswa]
I took a long sip on my wine looking at the makeup kit in front of me, I glanced up at the mirror and the huge scar on my cheek couldn't be missed, it started from my left eye till my cheek ,it wasn't deep and would be easy to cover, a sip seemed not to be a lot ,I took a gulp in the wine yet again it wasn't enough, I needed something  stronger than wine but I knew enough not to play near his whisky collection, they were for special occasion only , my hands flipped through the purse I had on the bed, I grabbed it flipping through till I came out with the a box of nicotine, I grabbed one before trapping it between my lips , I light it before blowing the smoke off my nostrils ,I stood up knowing and went to the balcony, my eyes scanned the beautiful Cape town whether, the sun was scorching hot today probably 90% Celsius, I could feel myself sweating through the air condition, people were playing on the beach today, I was grateful for the view I had. My sharp hearing detected giggles around the house and I knew my son was back from preschool, I mastered the best smile I could master before squashing the nicotine, I popped a mint on my mouth to suppress the smell it wasn't that Mthetho didn't know I smoke it was a matter of how much he hated it, it was still a bad habit hard to get rid off.

“hey mommy" Mthetho was the first one to greet me with a smile, Senzo was on the counter watching his father as he told him stories that at my age I knew where lies, I forced a smile too on my face , my mind had already planned thousand ways to kill him but I knew that was out of question, people thought Mthetho was dangerous but they didn't know Bonginkosi his older brother, he was one of  merciless people I knew , No Mthetho wasn't involved in anything illegal it was just pecks of being a owner of taxi's he and Bonginkosi inherited taxi business from their father.

“hey daddy" his smile you would have sworn he was innocent, I cringed as he pecked my cheek, I never knew what I gotten myself into with Mthetho, twice I tried leaving him but of cause no one does, last night was the third trial, I had walked onto him having sex with some women, no he wasn’t apologetic when I found him instead he continued when I threatened to leave he instead beat me so hard and took out his pocket knife, I remember him stretching me just a reminder where I belong before he forced me to join in, oh yes he had sex while I watched him, he forced me not to tore my eyes away from the scene

“I was thinking of taking you guys out , when we return Bonginkosi is going to KZN with Senzo uMa wants him to visit" he said I knew it wasn't a discussion, Mthetho wouldn't even think of hurting me in front of his son and I knew with Senzo gone my nightmares would begin, the abuse would get worse