One last chance

chapter 44

[Qhawe]
Before i could answer the question or give dad the platform to ask again ,Mxolisi enters the house whistling while he swings the key around his fingers.

"Bab'wami" he says throwing himself on the couch, seeing the mood that had surrounded me and my father he darts his eyes. "Okay ,did i disturb something here" he asks baba throws his eyes at him immediately trying to hold himself in.

"Qhawe impregnated maka'Isisa" (isisa's mom) dad sings immediately at that, Qhawe throws his eyes on me before dad.

"Ofcause he did new love is blinding you think of the now and forget the consequences, am i the only one who saw this from a mile away" he shrugs his shoulders pushing the keys on the table.

"Bhuti you've been in my situation,do you think it's ideal that i marry someone just because they pregnant" i ask.

"Most definitely not, you cannot force yourself to marry someone you not ready for, marriage is a life time commitment not a thing you do just because of doing it, loving someone isn't validation enough that you ready to marry , you need to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself ,that's the reason in the first place the is this higher percentage of divorce, you first need to tackle the situations you think may be a problem in future, people now be practising adultery because of being pressured into marriage and at the end of the day  they hate each other and it effects the kids badly" Mxolisi says clasping his hands together.

"Thank you" i respond at that delighted with his answer but he raise his finger to indicate i should keep quite.

"But I've been through the situations whereby my kids grew up without my presence, i know am present in their lives , not just financially but physically too but thats not enough , the are things i regret in life , I've never been there when my children took their first steps, when they said their first words , I've never been  there to teach them some of the things, I've never been there to teach my son to play soccer and I've never been there for their first day at school" he says "now being present doesn't mean being available for everything they do in life, you've been absent for 12 whole years in Isisa's life you missed all those things and more , my question is are you prepared to lose those valuable moments yet again" he adds before standing up to go serve himself my mother's cookies moments later he appears i thought he was done but he isn't, he makes himself comfortable on the couch with juice and cookies.

"You know what i think..." he says before sipping his juice washing the cookies down. "I think you afraid to even consider marriage because of your past, you afraid you will lapse and hurt her, you afraid what if your anger somehow overtakes you and you hurt her, you afraid she will leave you , you protecting your heart, loving her from a distance is different from up close, and i understand that totally but through your fears remember that they don't affect just you but your kids, you a father now " he added.

"What happened to my son because what am looking at is Manqoba "Baba said shaking his head its true am not used to this wise Mxolisi,the only sane wise person in this family besides my father is manqoba.

"You said it Baka'Mxolisi am turning 40 , more years adds to more wisdom right, plus my wisdom teeth grew back so..." i chuckle at that.

"And his back ,Zothini look who is here" he shouts the last part loudly few minutes mom comes back ,she smiles at that.

"Maka'Mxolisi" Mxolisi says when mom smiles seeing him.

"I should host a lunch and you bring the kids along wena Qhawe bring Isisa along we don't see our grand child more enough and we not getting any younger we need their little feets around the house" mom says giving me an eye that warning me, Mxolisi's words leave a bitter sweet on my mouth, they leave a bad taste and covering the sweet taste of mom's cookies that i had eaten.
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"She is just worried because of previous events, Isisa was born at 28 weeks and had some complications with her lungs but i think she just needs time she will get over it" i tell mom exactly what happened at the doctors appointment, we were now having lunch with the parents and i was forced to tell mom about the pregnancy, Mbalenhle hadn't been okay since we found out she was pregnant.

"I don't think she will be okay eventually,she will stress my grandkids until something happens bring her to the lunch along on Saturday, she needs someone who's been in her situation before, to explain to her that its okay to not be happy,that its okay for her to be scared she does need an assurance especially now than ever , don't take it as a passing thing cause it won't she needs you now more than ever ,me of all people know that" mom says before excusing herself immediately after that ,her eyes shining in tears show that she wants to cry ,mom had never fully dealt with Nkanyezi's death , how could she because she had to take care of 2 newborns until toddlers and when they finally became independent coming at that age she had to deal with pregnancy of quinterplets but i think more now than ever she still does.