Playing With Fire & Ice

38

I groan as I wake up to the sun hitting my eyes. "Rise and shine sunshine. We are getting you some fresh air into our lungs."Sean said loudly and I grumbled trying to turn over pulling cover over my head.

"No ma'am not today." Sean said before snatching the cover off me. I groan again just wanting to lay in bed. "I want to stay inside." I say. "I know you do Effie. But being in this apartment is suffocating you." Sean said softly as he looked at me.

"But I don't want to." I grumbled sitting up. "We don't have to go far if you want we can go outside this but we are leaving this apartment. So c'mon go shower and get dressed." Sean pestered and I glared at him before getting up. Grabbing a set of underwear, I stumbled to the bathroom starting the shower water. Looking in the mirror, I see the dark bag under my eyes, as well as dried tear streak on my cheeks. My hair was a tangled mess from not taking proper care of it.

I looked like a hot mess. Turning on the water of the sink I brush my teeth and wash my face before stripping down and getting into the shower. I hum to myself as I do my best to wash my hair ridding of its tangles and dandruff. Rinsing out the shampoo, I put in my conditioner before I start to wash myself.

After my shower, I felt extremely better as I wrapped a towel around my body. Putting on my lotion and deodarant, I put on my red lace bra and panties before I leave the bathroom not seeing Sean but I notice new sheets on my bed. I walk over to my closet putting on jeans, a oversized orange pullover, and a pair of white Air Forces. Leaving my hair down I comb and brush through it before leaving it alone.

Leaving the room, I walk down the hall stopping at dad's door. I frown slightly as I put my hand on the door before walking to the kitchen hearing Bobby Brown singing My Prerogative as Sean cooked what smelled like bacon, sausage, french toast, and cheesy eggs.

"Morning Sunshine. Do you feel better after a shower?" Sean asked smiling as he wore a pair of joggers, a Tupac shirt and Nike Airs. "I guess. Did you change my sheets?" I asked. "Yes and after a search I found new sheets and your olds one are in the wash. Now sit." He says as he points to a chair. Taking a seat, I wait as Sean places a cup of coffee and a plate of food in front of me.

"Thanks." I mumble as I eat my eggs. "You're welcome." Sean smiled at me as he sat dopewn with a cup of orange juice. As we ate, I glance over at Sean. Here this man was leaving his company at the spur of the moment, flying from Connecticut to Georgia, helping me through this process of grieving and I was wallowing in my grief. Sean could be running his company or something else but he was here. Supporting me in a time of need.

Smiling lightly I grab onto Sean's hand just holding it as I sip the last of  my coffee. "You all done?" Sean asked me. "Yeah lets get going." I sighed as I stood up grabbing my phone, keys and wallet. We put our plates in the sink before we leave the apartment.

"I'm driving." Sean says to me as he takes my keys before he opens my door. Getting in I watch as he does the same starting the engine driving down the street.

"I know you are grieving right now but I want you to get your mind off of it for today. So we are going to the go-cart track." Sean said. I simply nodded as I grabbed his man. Coming to the realization that even after five years I never stopped loving him and he never stopped loving me.

Soon we arrived at the racing place and we paid the fee before we put on the helmets. "I just want you to know its okay to have a good time. But I'm still going to beat your ass." Sean said to me softly. "Okay and no you won't." I say back to him as we sit down in the carts.

Getting at the starting line, the flag drops and I press the medal to the floor. Bumping into the rails alot but I just chuckled. Sean got ahead of me a few times but I gained the lead winning.

***

After multiple races Sean and I stopped racing, going over to the built in diner. Taking a seat at the counter the lady takes our order and then we are left alone.

"Thank you Sean." I say softly. "For what exactly?" He asked. "You could be running your company but instead your here helping me. I'm grateful for this." I say smiling as I lean over kissing his cheek. "I love you for that Sean. You're always there when I need you." I say as I pull away. Sean looked at me before a wide smile broke out on his face.

"This isn't the grief talking right is it." Sean said. "No Sean." I chuckle looking down at the counter. Feeling Sean grab my chin and turn my head our lips meet in a kiss that both of us have longed for.

"I love you too Tiger." Sean whispered as we pulled apart. I smile even though I felt my cheeks heat up. "I have one more place we have to go." Sean said as we had started eating our food. Throughout our meal I couldn't help but to constantly think about what dad would want me to do.

I know he would want me to be happy and I finally am but I miss him so much. I miss his voice, the way he acted, hell even when he would think I was mom. But I want to be happy so he won't worry about me in the next world.

Sighing mentally I try to smile but it doesn't reach my eyes. "Hey Effie you don't have to force anything if you want we can go back to the apartment and I can hold you." Sean said. "Yeah. I'm sorry." I sigh knowing he wanted to get out of the apartment. "Don't be. I understand."  Sean said kissing my forehead before we left.