Playing With Fire & Ice

39

I sigh as Sean, Jazzy and I return to the apartment after planning the memorial service with the pastor.

"Take a seat Effie. I'll get everyone some coffee and tea" Sean said softly breaking the tense silence between us. Sitting down on the couch with Jazzy it remains quiet between us as Sean makes the drinks in the kitchen.

"Hey Effie." Jazzy says softly. "Yes." I ask. "Why do I feel so empty inside? I-I don't know what to do with myself. I'm pushing people away and submerging myself in work. W-what is happening?" Jazzy whispers as I notice her hands trembling.

"That emptiness is loss and loneliness. I felt it after mom died and after Sean and I divorced. I felt empty so I did what I did best avoid the situation. Your the same way. You are working yourself to the bone but don't push people away. We both need as much support as possible right now." I say to her holding her hand as Sean comes back handing me a cup of black coffee. "Jazzy you still like green tea cause thats what I made." Sean said unsure. Jazzy simply nodded as she took the cup.

"I'll let you have sister time." He said as he went to my room. "Jesus made that guy." Jazzy muttered. "What?" I chuckle.

"Effie, he wants to pay for the memorial service, he is here loving you, he made us drinks and gaves us sister time. If that isn't love I don't know what is." Jazzy said with a soft smile. "We're back together as of the other day. He's really helped me alot." I say as I glance towards my room.

"So how have you been with him gone?" Jazzy asked me. "I'm not sure. I think I'm okay sometimes but I still can't go in his room. But I'm getting better I guess. Day by day." I say softly. "I get it. I can barely look at a picture of dad without crying. It's hard." Jazzy sighs.

I shrug as I scoot closer to Jazzy bringing her in a hug. At first it started as a soft sniffle then progressed to full blown sobbing. I said nothing as I comforted my sister crying silently.

I looked to the side seeing a picture of mom and dad on their wedding day. They were smiling so big showing their teeth and gums. Even though they stod in the rain ruinging their clothes. They were just happy to be with each other.

It made me smile knowing the neither mom nor dad would want us to grieve too much. My smile quivered as I realized that no matter how hard I tried to supress my feelings of griefe they are still there and I still need to deal with them.

"I'm going to go I have someone that is suppose to come over." Jazzy says as she stands up moving towards the door. "Don't push them away anymore Jazzy." I say to her as I walk her towards the door. Watching her leave the apartment, I close the door behind her before I walk towards my room seeing Sean sitting up on the bed typing on his laptop.

Crawling up on the bed I lay my head on Sean's chest. "Did Jazzy leave Effie?" Sean asked as he moved his laptop to the side. "Yes she just left." I said as I placed my leg across his.

"How is she doing with everything?" Sean asked as he looked down at me. "She is taking it how I took it when mom died. Pushing people away and working until she drops." I say softly as I sit up scratching my head.

"So are you prepared for tomorrow. I know its only a memorial service since he will be cremated and ots a small gathering but still I have to ask." Sean said softly ad he looked at me as I sat back on my heels.

I shrugged at him. "I don't know. I know both Jazzy and I are grieving but I don't want this to be a sad occasion dad had a good life. I sure he would want us to be happy." I sigh. "Hell pops would probably say he's glad to see mama so he can bang bang." Sean laughed as he thrusted into the air. I laughed with him smiling as he probably would say that.

"Can we order in for dinner? I don't really want to cook" I asked him. "Yes but getting Chinese. Don't think I forgot that you are technically still recovering from that stroke." Sean said and I groaned. "But I want lasagna." I said crossing my arms.

Sean sat up as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm watching out for your health baby." He said softly looking into my eyes. "But I want to eat regular food Sean. I'm going to be skin anf bones if I keep eating salads." I grumbled. "No you won't." Sean smiled lightly.

Pouting lightly I huff softly as I look down at Sean who was simply staring at me. "What are you looking at me so hard?" I say with a raised brow. "Because your really a amazing woman. I still remember that little girl who had ponytails in her hair who acted so hard but was so soft. Now look at you strong, beautiful but still soft." Sean chuckled as I gapped at him.

"I am not soft." I said to him. "Yes you are Effie. Probably the softest person I know but you hide it well." Sean smiled as he pressed a kiss to my lips. 

"Whatever. I'm going to go make this order." I grumble as I get up from the bed. I couldn't even leave the room as Sean had me trapped between the door and his chest.

"I have a phone with me tiger." Sean whispered in my ear and I resisted the shiver that ran down my spine. "Why are you so close?" I said to him as I look back at him.

"No reason but I could be closer." Sean whisper. I chuckled before pushing him back. "You play too much but if I wanted you closer I would have you." I say smirking at him as I lean up whispering in his ear as I trail a finger to his belt buckle.