Shugo Chara: ✤The Guardian {| Book 1 |}

III. Mommy Dearest..

A few hours later I was done with my bath and in my comfy pajamas. Now sitting on my bed with my guitar in my hands, trying to create a song. One that I can play on both my keyboard and my guitar.

 I hummed a tune while strumming gently.

- Why am I being so quiet? There’s no one here. -

 I slowly closed my eyes while the sound of the guitar gradually became louder. 

- They’ll never be any one here, I’ll be alone forever. -

 My thin eyebrows creased together in discomfort, it seemed like all my anger and sadness had rolled into one. Pushing further and further doubts on my chest.

 - Why do I even try? It’s close to impossible that’ll be anything other than ignored. -

 By now, I had stopped humming the tune. My fingers moved faster and faster on their own. 

 Alone. 

 Louder and more quicker. 

 I need to study.

 My fingers had grown numb and tired fast, but I continued to play.

 i need to be important.

 Faster and faster.. My fingers played.

 I need to be seen. 

 - I.. I.. -

 I need to be perfect.

 The shrill ringing of my cell phone broke through my thoughts, my hands immediately froze where they were on the guitar. It wasn’t until the second ring that I set down the guitar and went over to my dresser. I flicked my flip phoneon without checking to see who it was and answered.

 “Hello?” I answered casually, I sat down on the mini-couch in my bedroom. 

 “Pretty girl~!” The other voice sang from the other line, and I immediately knew who the voice belonged to.

I groaned. “Amaya?” I wasn’t up to another one of her excuses- or rather excuse. She only used mainly one. I’m so tired and I’m close to a hotel. 

 “How many times do I have to tell you to call me ‘mama’? I AM your mother!” The woman scolded playfully, but I still stayed monotone in response. 

 “What is it, I’m a bit busy.” I lied, glancing over to the guitar- mainly the strings that I was close to murdering. 

 “Well, I just wanted to speak to you about something important.” Her voice got serious so it must be important.

 “There is something that I have been keeping from you.. Something from your father.” 

 My expression dropped at the mentioning of my dad, she had never spoke about my father ever since they split. She had always brushed it off as if it never even happened.

 “When me and him first had you, he had given you something that’s really important.” Amaya stated, I could practically see the saddened look on her face as she said this. 

 She inhaled. “But after your amnesia, I decided to keep it hidden from you-” 

 "Wh-what? What is it?!” I blurted out.

 “I’m going to send it to you.. Think of it as a gift from him.” She slowly replied, ignoring my question. 

 There is an eerie silence before I hear a sharp inhale from the other side of the phone, at this my shoulders slump down. There was obviously no way I could find out what she was talking about other than waiting. 

 “A-Amaya..” I began, clutching my phone harder. My once stern voice faltered into a shaky, nervous one. I planned to tell her about my ballet recital that’s occurring next month. 

 “Yes, sweetie?” 

 “I..” I gulped some air. “I’m going to have a performance on the fi-“

 I was cut off by a sucked breath on the other line. 

 “I’m sorry, honey, I think I’m going to busy next month. I’m collaborating with Rainchino and I need to have a personal discussion with the CEO and his officials.”

 I hung my head in defeat and bit my lip as an attempt to keep in tears like I always did when Amaya turned me down.

 “Eh? Really, now?!” I her her voice, distant, and from what I could tell talking to someone away from the phone. She then gave a sigh into the phone. “I’m sorry, Haruka..”

 I knew what was coming, just as the routine went. Whenever my mother said my first name as if we were strangers, you had to have knew what was coming. 

 “..I’ll have to get to you later. I have even more work to get done and prepared for this meeting. Sorry.” Amaya said in a monotone voice. You would expect to hear her sad but she was probably looking forward to getting off the phone with me and going back to work. 

 Because work is her first love..

 My lip quivered, it always happened like this. The moment she said she had to leave, a bunch of ideas rushed in through my brain. So much I wanted to tell her.

 “M-Mommy!” I blurted out finally, there was no response, but I could tell that she didn’t hang up because the dial tone didn’t follow after.

 “I-I was having trouble in Algebra, but I managed to ace the test! Straight A+!” A small bittersweet laugh followed after my statement. but still there was no answer. 

 “Didn’t I do good?” I said softly, my voice slightly cracking. I waited patiently for praise from her after but all I got was the sound of a phone being hung up and then a beep.

 I slowly pulled the phone from my ear and flipped it down so that it would be off. I set it down on my work table then took my camera, wrapping the strap around my neck once again. I slipped on some old flip flops and made my way outside through the front door and down my steps.