The Agency

Chapter 4

Fin's POV:

I breathe out a sigh of relief as the girl goes limp under my hands. But sadness washes over me as I look at her vulnerable, peaceful face, a hostage within the false slumber of the sedative. I feel a pat on my shoulder.

“Hey man, I’m sorry; I had no idea that would happen.”

“I’m sorry I shouted at you, Kyle, I…she sounded like she was dying.”

“Ye…she certainly wasn’t faking it, I’ve never heard screaming like that in all my life.”

“What do you think went wrong? Do you think the dosage was too concentrated or…did you just give her too much?”

“No I checked. Both were fine. But I thought about it and I think that what happened may have been a psychological response.”

“What do you mean?”

“The drug had the desired effect and instilled fear in her, but that fear may have provoked memories associated with past horrors.”

“But she seemed to be screaming at something right there in the room. Remember how she stared dead ahead at something that wasn’t there. The drug could be hallucinogenic, don’t you think?”

“I believe, though bear in mind that I am no psychologist, that perhaps her memories were so vivid that they blocked out the real world. I think she was quite literally locked in her own mind, paralysed with the fear.”

“So you don’t think the drug could have made her see things that weren’t there?”

“No, I tested it on all of you remember? Did you see anything?”

“Nope, I felt sick with fright but that was it.” I can see puzzle pieces slotting together behind Kyle’s eyes. “So these memories must have been truly terrible to make someone, especially with her pride and confidence, completely lose control.”

“But don’t you see? They’re using those memories to control her. Sometime in her past, they have punished her brutally and then erased the conscious memory of it. So she would always, subconsciously, have a fear of the consequences of disloyalty, but the fear wouldn’t be able to affect her day to day; it’s buried in her subconscious. She said they got her when she was just a child; she’s gone through years of this; layer after layer of psychological programming over the years has turned her into the perfect machine for their company. She seems to be as much a prisoner as you were; except that she won’t accept it because she’s never known anything else. Her whole life has been strictly controlled; they encourage her not to think for herself, and when she does she’s brutally punished. They ‘buy’ their workers before they are fully mentally developed, and rear them up so that the very concept of freedom is a lie to them. Rehabilitating her is going to be like trying to solve an eight-sided Rubik’s Cube.”

“Well at least we know that’s possible”. I laugh at my inside joke; Rubik’s cube races were a little more than casual pass time of mine and Kyle’s. “Jesus, Kyle…think of the scale of this operation if you’re right about this, trying to additionally rescue the guards could jeopardise the entire thing; they’re trained killers.”

“But perhaps if we can find a way of getting through to Anne, we might actually have a shot at this. And we need to find out what the company’s weak point is, if it isn’t Anne.

“Then Jax is our man. He can get us inside. I’ll stay here and try to get more information from Anne and you can form a brief for the reconnaissance patrol.”

“Right, I’ll get right on it.” Kyle leaves the room and I’m left alone to look upon the girl; her face holds the expression of someone who is completely content, despite it being induced by a sedative. I know it’s pointless and cliché to speak to someone even though they are asleep but I’m not in the mood to care. Quietly I go to sit next to her chair on the floor, with my back resting comfortably against the side. Somehow, not looking at her makes it easier to speak to her, and I begin to blab about my life, telling her the kind of things I would write in a journal. We aren’t supposed to keep journals, not because only women generally keep them, but because of the risk of information falling into the wrong hands. Having a woman amongst us is actually rather special, our…organisation I suppose…does not discriminate between gender per say, but it had been found that the women we did have in our organisation, preferred to work in ‘back office’ jobs such as making disguises to get into important places; we all found it easier if two genders worked separately anyway. Also we keep the work detachments as separate as possible so that if one were to be compromised, the others would not be found.

I’m telling her all this now, these little details which one ponders over in the lulls between times of activity. Her expression hasn’t changed and her breathing is still the deep huffs of a sleeper, so I feel safe to continue talking to her.

“So you’ve met my good friend Kyle, he too thinks we can help you and your…peers. I think I understand now why you are the way you are, and I also believe you could be of great help to us, if you’d only open your mind as you did all those years ago... Hell, you would become the first female member of our detachment, you have all the skills we need and more. And what’s more, you come with the bonus of being one of them as well…the guys think I’m wasting my time, but I don’t think they realise how valuable you are to us; you’re the ultimate weapon…”

“Um, you do know she’s out of it, Fin?” I crick my neck as I whip round to see Si standing by the door; he’s half-smirking and trying not to laugh. I gaze at him steadily, waiting for him announce what he came to tell me. “I…You know I didn’t mean what I said about…you know…giving her a slap…”

“I thought I made it perfectly clear how I felt about violence towards her. Anne may be dangerous, but if we are going to gain her trust, we cannot react with violence or we will be no different than the people we’re trying to derail her from. The way you acted today will have most likely caused her to distrust us even more, as if gaining her trust wasn’t hard enough initially.”

“Hey man, I didn’t see you take all this out on Jax; it’s his fault she has bruises on half her face!”

“I spoke with Jax in private, Si, his situation is a little different from yours.”

“How so?!”

“He suffered at the hands of her... company.. for a hell of a lot longer than any of us. He went through so much more than any person I’ve ever met; he was treated like an animal, and it’s a miracle he escaped.”

“Why does that excuse him?”

“It’s harder for him to keep his emotions under control; that’s why I’ve been keeping him more distant when we’re dealing with Anne. And as for you, you have no reason to be overwhelmed by your emotions, so I expect you to keep them closed off.”

“I have plenty of reasons to give her a hard time…!”

“….As does everybody else! She betrayed me and it’s a wonder I got out alive! I was angry at her for years before Jax sighted her trailing me, and now that she’s here, that anger is always at the back of my mind. But I keep it at the back of my mind.” Si strides out suddenly, I suspect because he needs to sulk our argument out of his system. I turn back to the girl…who is no longer in the chair.