𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 • 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤

forty-six

"I literally cannot believe you didn't tell me about your birthday," I told Colby. We were in the park near my house, on top of that same small rooftop we had lied on while getting high, months before. We were huddled together, more than a few blankets draped over us. It was the first of January - it was freezing, but we were trying to get the most out of his last days here, reliving our best memories.

That didn't take away the fact I could barely feel my nose anymore.

He shrugged. "Amidst everything, it didn't feel so important."

"Amidst everything, it's even more important," I stressed. "We're doing something fun tomorrow, all of us, and in the evening we'll have the bonfire."

A chuckle left his lips. "Seems like you've got it planned out already."

"I do," I grinned and turned onto my side, facing towards him.

He turned towards me as well, our noses almost touching. "You know what, for a long time I fucking hated this place. I literally had nothing here, anymore."

I thought about it, and it instantly made me feel sick. My brother took away the one person he had at school, he had to go home to an abusive father, and Sam had school himself somewhere else.

He continued. "I'm not trying to sound pathetic, or pitiful, you know I'm not like that and I don't need it. But I have to admit I thought of ending it - and came close to doing so - more than I would like to admit."

I reached my hand up from under the blanket, to his face, and caressed his cheek. His eyes closed at the touch for a few seconds, before he opened them again and proceeded. "And then I ran into you that first day of school, and your features immediately gave away who you were. And I hated you, because you were a walking reminder of what Hero did and I couldn't avoid you like I avoided him. It was like fate kept pulling us back together, no matter how hard I tried to stay away. And I know, Arabella, I fucking know how cheesy it sounds. But whether it was fate or not – whatever it was – it kept me alive."

His eyes scanned over my face, his eyes lingering on mine. I leaned in and connected our lips, softly, like I was scared of breaking him. His hand slid behind the back of my head, pulling me closer. I moved my lips to the tip of his nose, where they lingered for a little, before leaving a small kiss and pulling back.

"You were a pain in the ass when I first met you but I'm glad I stayed around for long enough to find out who you really are. I'm glad you stayed around for long enough," I replied, earning a small smile from him. "I just need you to keep going when we're apart, okay? Hold on for me."

He nodded, the hand that was on the back of my neck now woven through my hair. "You don't have to worry about that. You were my second chance, Arabella. And exactly the one I needed to realize a couple things."

I cuddled into him, lying down onto his chest as we both looked at the clouds above us. "I can't believe it took you having to leave, for us to have these kinds of conversations."

"Some things are clear, even when left unspoken. And sometimes they need to be spoken for clarification," he replied. "But you know I love you, and that's all you really needed to take from this."

"I love you too," I smiled and sat up so I could look at him. "Do you wanna go somewhere? I know of a nice little diner by a pretty lake, not too far from here. They have the best food."

He nodded and sat up as well. "Yeah, sounds nice, I was starting to get cold anyways."

I chuckled and grabbed some of the blankets, climbing down first. When he joined me at the bottom, we made our way to his car. "You know, it's nice up there, but I'm always glad when my feet touch the ground again," he laughed.