High Priestess

3.3

At Crossley, Stevie was angrily shuffling her purse pack of Tarot cards sitting up in the middle of the night, because it was the only time she got left alone and could actually move despite the heavy sedatives they'd put her under. So she was sat up on the ugly, uncomfortable beige couch in the overly white room and she was just shuffling. She wasn't asking any questions she was just trying to feel connected to the spirits.

Crossley had been a trip and she didn't know how she was still alive for that matter. She's been receiving electroshock treatments daily to try to make her 'forget about Mick's dealings' according to Joe Walsh. After that first day in the hospital, Joe hasn't penetrated her, but he does still touch her. When he's strapping her to the table for her electroshock treatments he drags his fingers up her inner thigh. If she's walking the halls -a rare occurrence-if she walks by him or him, her, he'll grab her ass and give it a squeeze. And every morning he comes into her room before Electroshock just to fondle her breasts and to get a hand job. She's doesn't willingly do anything, because she can't. He sedates her so what he does is he gives himself a handjob with her hand and it grosses her out to no end. 

What she doesn't understand though is how electroshock hasn't really affected her in the slightest. It hurts like hell when it happens and for a couple of hours, afterward but all of her memories are intact. She wants to believe that it has to do with the fact that she has the spirits surrounding her and she also wants to believe that it's because of the list she keeps repeating in her head. 

My name is Stephanie Lynn Nicks, People call me Stevie. I am going to be 30 years old on May 26th. I do Tarot cards, I am spiritually connected to the High Priestess, my husband is Mick Fleetwood, He's Evil. He put me in here. He's a drug dealer. Our marriage was a contract. But I am in love with Lindsey Buckingham. Lindsey Buckingham is gorgeous. He has brown curly hair, blue denim, eyes. He's an amazing guitar player, singer, songwriter, and we have great sex. 

As she's angrily shuffling a card falls out of her hands onto the couch and she stops and flips it over. to reveal the Emperess facing upright. 

"Emperess...Emperess can mean a lot of different things. It can mean divine, it can mean feminine sensuality, fertility. nurturing, creativity, and abundance in nature...is there any possible way that I could get Clarity." She says to herself picking the cards back up. 

The next card that falls is the lovers in the upright position and she gulps. "Lovers in the upright position...are you giving me a...oh my god, Lovers when paired with Emperess usually means Pregnancy. Can I have clarity again?" 

Another card falls and she flips it over. The wheel of fortune upright. "Wheel of fortune can mean, good luck, karma, and life cycles...OH come on cards, I still don't know what you're trying to tell me." 

One more card falls, the queen of pentacles, upright. "Nurturing, practical working parent. Are you trying to tell me I'm...oh forget it." She closes the deck back up and places them back in her purse and she just makes her way to the uncomfortable, and scratchy bed before curling up in her little ball and falling asleep.

***

"Stephanie, Stephanie." 

Stevie jolts awake in what she calls the dream world and she looks around to the voice that woke her up. As she's looking around the smokey scenery of her dream she can see a woman, very pretty, dressed in blue and Stevie knows. She knows that it was the High Priestess who was trying to talk to her.

"Stephanie, you are with child. A strong child at that. She'll come out of this perfectly fine, but you need to stay strong for her. She'll only make it if you hold on just a little bit longer. Don't let them get to you, don't let your guard down. Be strong for your little girl." 

"I'm pregnant?" She asks.

"Well of course, when the universe puts your soulmate in your path it's only logical that a baby is conceived to spread the love that two of you share. You and Lindsey are going to make great parents you just got to make your way back to him, but I promise you that before Halloween you will. You just need to focus on that and keep yourself strong. Be strong Stevie, be strong for her." The high priestess touches her stomach. 

***

Stevie wakes up and reaches for the journal on her nightstand, at this point the sun is streaming through the windows and she knows that in just a matter of minutes Joe and Nurse Rat whatever were going to be in, to sedate her and bring her to electric shock therapy but she quickly scrawls in her journal, Emlyn Rosabella Buckingham and shuts it as her door opens. 

Joe grins at her wickedly and grabs her arm roughly. Nurse Rat as Stevie calls her, doesn't even clean off her arm where she jabs a very sharp and long needle into the crook of her arm and very quickly the heavy feeling falls over her arms and her legs and once she's strapped into the Electric Shock bed she knows the drill so she goes about her repetitive statement. And for the first time, she cries as the electricity jolts through her body, and the burning pain wells up in her head. 

My name is Stephanie Lynn Nicks, People call me Stevie. I am going to be 30 years old on May 26th. I do Tarot cards, I am spiritually connected to the High Priestess, my husband is Mick Fleetwood, He's Evil. He put me in here. He's a drug dealer. Our marriage was a contract. But I am in love with Lindsey Buckingham. Lindsey Buckingham is gorgeous. He has brown curly hair, blue denim, eyes. He's an amazing guitar player, singer, songwriter, and we have great sex. Lindsey and I are going to be parents. I'm pregnant. I need to be strong for her. Her name is Emlyn Rosabella Buckingham.