High Priestess

5.3

Lindsey and Stevie were eating their meals in comfortable silence.  It had been the first time that they had been alone-alone together since the baby was born and they were just enjoying being together when Lindsey cleared his throat. "What happened the night that she was born?"

'What do you mean?" 

"When you were pushing you stopped, and you tensed up and you were screaming for us to stop and that you didn't want it. What happened?" Lindsey asks.

"Lindsey I don't...I..." She starts.

"Steph, we're married we can't keep things from each other." 

She just closes her eyes. "I was partially raped at Crossley." 

"What?"

"Dr. Joe Walsh decided that he wanted to drip hot wax on my vagina and then shoved a just blown out candle inside of me. The extremely hot wick hit my cervix and the burning pain that came after just resurfaced when I was pushing... I knew it was her head. I had read in my pregnancy books that the ring of fire is what you feel when the baby's head is emerging but I couldn't...I couldn't convince myself that it was her. It...it reminded me of the candle. In my head I was saying it's just her head but my body was saying otherwise." Stevie shakes her head. 

"Why wasn't this brought up in court? He should lose his license I..." Lindsey starts.

"Lindsey No, He did nothing wrong, it was Mick's urging." Stevie shakes her head.

"But he..." Lindsey starts.

"Lindsey...drop it, I'll be fine. It's done and over with. I'm okay." Stevie states putting her hand over his.

"What is that going to mean for us? I mean we haven't had sex since before you were shipped off. If we..." Lindsey starts.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Honey, but let's not focus on that tonight. I can't even have sex for about a month anyway according to Andrea." Stevie sighs referring to her midwife. Usually, it's six weeks after you give birth that you can have sex but Andrea told her that because her cut and her stitches ended up being so bad, that she had to wait slightly longer than an average mother.

***

When they got back home, Stevie will admit as she cradles her baby girl in her arms and watches her eat that she's glad she told Lindsey about what happened, but at the same time, there was something telling her that she probably shouldn't have mentioned it. He had been tense since they got home and she tried to attribute it to the news that she just shared so once Emlyn had fed she walked into their master bedroom. Lindsey was laying on the bed diagonally strumming his guitar and Stevie sat next to his hip. 

"What are you playing?" She asks shifting the baby so she was sitting upright facing Lindsey to get burped. 

"It's a new song I wrote. I'm calling it I'm So Afraid." He smiles grabbing Emlyn's little finger. 

A small smile plays on his face when Emlyn grabs onto his finger and giggles slightly before letting out a burp. 

"Hold your daughter, so I can take my makeup off?" She asks standing the little baby up, one hand on her neck to support it, and the other on her little bum, gently swaying her in front of Lindsey. 

He reaches up and takes her in his hands flying her up into a helicopter briefly and then bringing her down to his chest. Stevie smiles at the sight and she places her hand on the baby's little peach sleeper with grey polka dots on it, clad bottom and she kisses the corner of Lindsey's mouth. "I love you." 

"I know, I love you too." He nods.

Once Stevie emerges from the bathroom dressed in her favorite white negligee that she was so happy to get back after her divorce from Mick, she sees that Emlyn and Lindsey had fallen asleep in the position she left them, Lindsey laying diagonally on the bed with Emlyn on her stomach laid against his chest, her little head facing where Stevie walked out of the bathroom. Emlyn's little hand was up against her mouth and Stevie beamed as she set their alarms and crawled in next to Lindsey as best as she could and covered them with a blanket. She placed her head on Lindsey's shoulder and her hand lightly clutched at Emlyn's hand. 

Emlyn woke them up two hours later for a feeding and a diaper change and Stevie not wanting to get out of bed shifted around Lindsey so they could get in their proper sleeping positions and then she nursed right there in the bed her eyes closing as she registered Lindsey's hand on Emlyn to support her as well. 

"Stevie, I just...I can't believe someone would do that." Lindsey sighs.

"Dr. Walsh?" She questions.

"Yes. why would they...I just...I don't get it." Lindsey shakes his head.

"He was causing me pain, Mick wanted him to cause me pain so that's what he did. I'll never look at pillar candles the same again and you will never be dripping hot wax on me, but it's over it's done with. In all honesty, I'd take that over the electroshock any day. Especially the day that they didn't let me go to the bathroom first, and I was pregnant right. They didn't know that yet, but I knew, and when your pregnant you have to pee a lot, The electric current went through me and I peed everywhere. " She mumbles a light chuckle falling out of her lips.

"I bet your doctor's enjoyed that one," Lindsey smirks.

"They didn't mention it to me just gave me a new gown and underwear and Nurse Rat had to change me. Because even though the sedation had worn off at that point, it still...you feel heavy and you feel like you can't do anything." Stevie explains.

"Nurse Rat?" Lindsey asks looking at her cocking an eyebrow and Stevie opens her eyes feeling his stare.

"Her name was nurse Rashad but she looked like a rat so I called her nurse Rat," Stevie explains.

"She's done Steph, I'll put her in her cradle. Get some sleep." Lindsey states taking the baby from Stevie and crawling to the foot of the bed where her little cradle is set up. 

 "M'kay, I love you," Stevie mumbles. 

Once Stevie is back to sleep Lindsey goes to the basement where his music room is, and he trashes it out of anger for what happened to his wife but when he sees Roxy looking at him with a cocked head and a concerned dog expression he just goes to her and sinks to his knees hugging her around the neck. And then he cries into the dog's dark fur.