Attraction

29.

The sound of the front door closing makes me jolt awake. I get of the bed and walk down the hallway and go to the front door where I see Paul talking to who I remember to be Sam.

A small sigh leaves my lips and I turn around to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, I'm horribly thirsty. I finish off the glass of water and decide to talk a shower to freshen up and clear my mind from the recent events.

My heart jumps as I pull back the shower curtain to see my lavender shampoo sitting in the shower ready for me, he really did all of this for me. As I turn the shower on I feel tears threatening to spill over my eyes but I do my best to fight them back. Maybe I really am being inconsiderate... I've been on my own for so long that needing help makes me feel like I'm weak and incapable. I don't like asking for help and I'm okay with admitting that to myself, I've never had anyone to help me until Paul- I had to do it alone when I moved here to Forks. I was alone.

I didn't let anyone get too close to me for fear of something happening or that I would lose trust if I allowed my guard to come down for even just a moment. But with him everything came gently like a stream of water, it just came naturally and before I knew it I had let him see all of the parts of me that I had hidden from everyone else for so long. I let Paul comfort me when I cried after Jessie's death, I had allowed him to be my first, I had let him stay over with me on the nights I felt scared or when I didn't want him to go anywhere because so truly enjoyed his company.

Before I knew it, I had fallen completely madly in love with Paul. But he let me in too, if not more- he trusted me with such a big secret, he showed me all of the parts of him. He trusted me. I'm not used to being protected and looked after because for so long I had to look after myself that when anyone else tried to do it I felt weak deep down. I finish up with my shower as I wrap a towel around my body, I remove the steam in the bathroom mirror as I look back at my reflection for a moment before leaving the bathroom.

I quickly get dressed in a pair of warm comfortable clothes as I walk into the kitchen, the sun has completely gone down now allowing the stars to come out. My eyes meet Paul's who is sitting at the table, I meet his gaze for a moment before looking away. I'm unsure of what to say.

"Are you gonna say hi?" I blurt out.

"Hi." Paul answers turning his head to stare out of the window.

I don't like this, I don't like fighting with him- it's too weird. I sit down across from him at the table as I gently tap the pads of my fingers on the table for a moment.

"I'm sorry." I say. A heavy sigh leaves my lips.

Paul looks at me, his attention fully on me now.

"For so long it was just me, I was so used to being the only one to help myself that when you started trying to help me it made me feel weak deep down. I felt weak for a really long time and then I moved here to Forks where I had to be the only person to look after myself." I pause for a moment.

He softens his expression as I take in his features for a moment before continuing.

"When I let you in I wasn't prepared to have you trying to look after me like this because I didn't think any of this with the attack would happen. I got so used to being the only one to look after myself like this. I'm sorry for being so... stubborn." I finally finish.

Paul gets up from his seat and I stand immediately as he comes toward me, his arms warm around me making me feel the warmth of his body I had missed so much. I close my eyes and deeply inhale.

"I love you Will. I'm sorry, too." He murmurs against my hair.

"I love you, too" I respond now feeling a bit lighter.