Attraction

64.

"What are we?" I ask as his bare warm body tangles with my own. Paul drapes his arms comfortably around my waist making me feel as at home as I ever have, even more so with him. Paul looks down at me lovingly.
"What do you mean?" He asks, I just want to know if we are in a relationship or not. I don't want to just sleep with him occasionally, that isn't what I want to have with him.

"I mean, are we in a relationship or are we just friends?" My after sex overthinking is getting the best of me again and I know it, but if I don't ask now then when?

"I want to be with you, I've been waiting for the right time to bring this up. What do you want?" Our eyes meet which makes me feel nervous for some reason. I make it look like I am thinking for a moment even though I already know what I want.

"You, I want to be with you" I tell him honestly, it's what I've always wanted deep down.

"Then that's what you'll have, I'm yours." His answer is all that I need, just like that I'm completely wrapped around his finger once again. His lips come into contact with the skin on my forehead causing me to melt into him, how one person can make someone feel this way inside is still beyond me.
"I love you" He murmurs against the skin of my forehead, I lean my head into his chest.
"I love you, too" I'm giving him my heart again, maybe before I would have been scared that he might try and break it again. But this time I'm going to be fearless, he can have my heart, it's his now but I am sure he knows he's always had my heart.

Paul told me he would come with me to drive my mom to the airport next week which of course I am dreading. I wish it didn't have to be this way, I wish she and I could live closer—She's my mom and the only one I have. Maybe this time she won't be gone for very long, I am sure she will want to come visit again eventually. Still though, I am trying to keep a positive perspective on things. She didn't have to fly down here all those times but she did, she didn't have to come to my birthday, she could have just sent me a card and called me on the phone but she chose to fly down here for which I am grateful.
During my shift at work, all I am able to concentrate on is earlier today with Paul. The way his hands roamed my body, how his lips traced my skin giving me goosebumps, he causes my body to feel things I didn't know you could make a person feel— and I'm addicted to him, he is the drug I'll never stop craving. I don't feel bad for wanting him and wanting his body altogether, his personality pulls me in as well as his physical features—And the things he can do with just two fingers...

"Excuse me"

How can he move his fingers like that?

"Excuse me!" My head abruptly turns to see a tall red head that isn't holding any items to be scanned, she clears her throat and gives me a smile that feels counterfeit. I haven't even realized I have been zoning out, I really do need to stop fantasizing about this morning and be more productive at work—I can't afford to get fired.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. What can I help you with?" I smile apologetically, even if her smile isn't sincere.

"Yeah, can you point me to the isle that has Dom Pérignon?" She asks, I am suddenly confused by what she just asked of me. What is that? A drink? She notices my puzzled expression and lets out a breath that she seemed to be holding in. "It's a champagne" She responds in a slowed down tone.

"I don't think we carry champagne here" We don't as far as I know of, I've never seen any. The red head looks annoyed and I hope she doesn't make a scene.
"Well can you at least go check?" She crosses her arms over her expensive looking jacket, I put on my most pretend smile before coming out from behind the counter to go look for her stupid champagne.
When I scan the isles carefully, I don't see any champagne including the drink she's asked me for. Oh well, but I don't know why she came in here anyway... This store doesn't sell things like that. I make my way back to the register where the woman is still standing.
"I'm sorry, we don't have anything like that here. I can help you find a store that does?" My response sounds like a question and I am trying to appear friendly. She frowns.