No More What Ifs (DreamNotFound)

10. Everything Went Wrong

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep again," I mumbled as I bent down to pull out the mattress underneath George's bed. We had just finished making out for the third time that night, and as excited as I was, I really needed sleep.

"What, you don't wanna sleep with me?~" he teased.

Though I was tempted, I didn't want to do anything that would make him feel uncomfortable. Plus, our first kiss was only a little under an hour ago - this might be too soon.

"Maybe in the future, but I'm not sure if I want to right now."

"That's fair." He started preparing himself for bed, stripping into his underwear and scooting into his sheets. I did the same with my mattress, getting cozy even with my feet poking out from under the covers. He flicked off the light and I suddenly felt lonely.

He reached a hand out towards me, hoping I would grab it. I did and made a noise of content as I gently rubbed his knuckles.

"One more thing before we sleep."

"What's that?" he asked.

"Can I call you my boyfriend?"

He giggled. "Of course. I mean, we kissed 3 times already."

I looked away for a moment, embarrassed. "Yeah, but I don't want to do something that you're not comfortable with. I didn't know whether or not you wanted to be official."

"Of course I want to be official, Clay. Do you?"

"I do. That's why I'm asking."

"That's settled, then."

There was a beat of silence between us as the moonlight shone in through the blinds. George adjusted his head to get a better look at me, his brown eyes sparkling beautifully. 

"Clay, um... I promise, if you're ever uncomfortable with something I do, please tell me. I don't want to make you upset."

"Yeah. Same goes for you, George."

"Thank you. I love you so much, Clay."

"I love you too, George."

Well, that was a fucking lie.

This morning was miserable. Part of it was me not getting any sleep because I kept tossing and turning after what happened last night, which eventually devolved into quiet sobs. Another factor was the fact that it was overcast and rainy outside, seeming to reflect my mood. Then again, I didn't want to leave my room, let alone my house. I also didn't want to touch my phone because I was scared. Scared that I'd see a message from Nick saying he was sorry, or a message from Emily looking to vent together, or, worst of all, George wanting to take me up on the serious talk offer.  

Boredom finally won over, though, so I reluctantly picked up my phone and opened Messages. I just went down the line of recent messages, piecing more and more of what happened as I went along. Everyone seemed to know exactly what happened on the video, leading me to believe that whoever sent me the video had shared it with everyone else. Tons of messages from Bad, Zak, Alex, and even Dave flooded my phone. Dave was apologizing profusely, presumably for providing the alcohol, while the other three were offering to talk if I needed it. I didn't respond to any of them, only thinking about George and Nick, neither of whom messaged me. Nick... he'd have rumors start about him that would never go away. Being actually gay and having to deal with homophobes is bad enough - I can only imagine how much worse it would be if you were straight like he was.

I decided to find whoever sent the video so I could beat the shit out of them... or maybe not. The last thing I need is to get expelled. Regardless, I still decided to find the culprit because I still needed to blame someone. I knew it couldn't have been shared through a Discord server because I would have seen it by now, so that left the only other likely media to check to be Snapchat. I opened the most active class group chat and sure enough, there was a ton of reactions to the video. I kept scrolling higher and higher, hoping to find someone - and I did. In green text read a name I remembered too well.