No More What Ifs (DreamNotFound)

13. Back on Track

The rest of my Tuesday was spent in a significantly better mood. Bad's counseling session put my feelings in order and I didn't feel stuck anymore. While I was nowhere near getting over it, at least I could start making progress. By Wednesday morning, though, I was in a much less amazing mood. I was cuddling my pillow again, but this time, there were already tears staining it when I woke up. I felt cried out by now, though, so I was able to force myself out of bed to get to school.

I skipped breakfast, instead choosing to toss all of my work in my bag and haphazardly rushing to my car. When I got to school, there were far fewer whispers than before, but the remaining ones were still as blunt as yesterday. Nick also wasn't there by first period again, which was still concerning considering what a mess he was yesterday. George kept nervously glancing at me, but I tried not to return any of them. Even if I was able to separate my love for George from my hatred toward what he did, it didn't mean I was over it. That didn't stop me from occasionally sneaking a wistful look at him when I was certain he was looking the other way and taking in his features. It's just like all those years ago when I would do the same thing, longing for something I thought I couldn't have.

Well, at least he wasn't crying anymore.

Nick hadn't shown up by the time we were in fourth period and it had just been accepted by everyone that he was absent. As late as he sometimes was, he'd never skip school outright. Did he just get sick at a coincidental time or is he really skipping school? 

At lunch, I sat at my old usual table where the seven of us used to sit, though we were down two because Emily was essentially exiled after breaking up with Nick and Nick himself was MIA. George and I sat slightly across from each other, not so we were directly facing each other but so we weren't sitting side by side either. Instead, Bad and Zak sat between me and George, and Alex sat on my other side.

"I'm worried about Nick," Bad frowned, pulling out his phone. "I texted him earlier, but he hasn't said anything."

"I'm worried too," Alex said.

I didn't contribute to the conversation, but I did take out my phone and quickly text him a standard "are you ok" message as Bad continued.

"He's probably just sick, you guys," Zak sighed.

"I dunno..." Bad wondered. "What if he skipped school because of all the awful stuff people were saying about him?"

"His parents wouldn't let him do that," Alex reasoned. "They're pretty strict."

"I guess."

They stopped talking for a while. The conversations at our table were normally lively, but with George and I not talking and Emily and Nick not here, it was dead. I could tell Bad wanted to involve George and me, but neither of us wanted to speak for fear of accidentally saying something insensitive to the other. 

I didn't have much of a choice, though, when Bad directly asked me, "How are you, Clay?"

"Wha? Oh, I'm, y'know... getting along."

"Did you hear about the Mrs. O'Perra thing?" Zak asked.

"Huh?" I responded, genuinely confused. She was there in class just two periods ago, after all - what could have possibly happened?

He raised his eyebrows. "You didn't? Holy shit, when I tell you-"

"Language!" Bad scolded at the same time the bell rang. "And that's the bell, we need to go to class. You can tell him later, Zachary."

"Wh- That's not even my name! What, are we going to call Clay 'Clayton' now?" Zak said incredulously.

I was about to adamantly respond "fuck no" before Bad giggled, "Nope. Only you, Zachary." He laughed harder as Zak tried to snatch his glasses.