Untangling a Memory

Bad shot, good shot

Natasha made it through the night curled up with her head on Bucky's lap, but never was able to find real rest. She hadn't expected to sleep, in fact, she was actively avoiding it. Still, she had hoped to feel a bit more refreshed in the morning, especially after Bucky had stayed awake throughout the night to calm her with his soothing touch.

Unfortunately, Natasha was still exhausted, days of not sleeping catching up with her. The repeated strain that the recent episodes had put on her body and psyche were only making things worse. She desperately needed to burn off some of her anxiety.

"Hey there." Bucky closed his book and looked down at Natasha, who was finally rousing from her reclined position laying on his lap.

Natasha wiped her eyes. The tiredness was pulling at her lids. She turned to Bucky and attempted a smile without much success.

Bucky pushed away a strand of hair that was stuck to her cheek from her laying on it. "Want some breakfast?"

Natasha nodded. Bucky wasn't sure if she wasn't in a talking mood from exhaustion or because she was still coping with the incident from the day before. Either way, he decided not to push her on it.

Bucky got up from the couch, kissed Natasha on the top of her head, and headed to the kitchen to get started on cooking some food. Natasha let out of a couple of deep sighs, looking around herself and feeling blank. She wasn't sure what to do with herself, as she was still struggling to hold everything together. Where she normally craved the structure they had during their days, now she felt lost in it, like even the schedule didn't make sense to her.

Natasha finally got up and walked to the kitchen. Bucky was in the process of making buckwheat waffles and had started a pot of coffee for her. As she shuffled over, Bucky noticed the sullen look on her face. He frowned, feeling the hurt sloughing off of her and spreading to him, pulling at his heart.

Natasha continued to saunter towards Bucky until she was almost walking into him, when he wrapped himself around her in a big hug. She cradled herself inside his embrace, her head laid on his chest. Where she had hidden in the wardrobe in her room the day before, now she could hide in his arms. His warmth let her feel less alone even as she still strained to avoid the rest of the world.

The bell on the coffee maker went off notifying that the brew was ready. Bucky petted Natasha's head before letting her go to pour her a mug, as she moved to her usual spot at the counter. With the way Natasha was seeking contact, Bucky knew she was still tender from her internal wounds.

Bucky finished their breakfast and this day they chose to eat at the counter in the kitchen. Natasha seemed too tired to move and, where the sunlight on the veranda normally cast a brilliant start to the morning, today it was just a reminder of how broken she still felt. They mostly ate in silence, but Bucky's mouth softly pulled up at the corner, radiating his warm presence the throughout the meal.

"So, I was going to go to the gym in a bit." Natasha's voice was small as she stared down at her plate, moving the last bites of waffle around with her fork.

"Ok. You want company?" Bucky's words had no expectation attached to them.

"I'd like to just hit the bag alone for a while, if that's ok."

"Sure, of course. I'll catch up with you after."

Natasha nodded. She furrowed her brow and let out a deep sigh.

"Hey..."

Natasha looked up at Bucky who had been watching her throughout their conversation. He put his right hand on her back and rubbed it gently.

"How are you feeling?"

Natasha shrugged, "I'm ok." Her words were very plain and unconvincing. She turned back to her plate and took a last bite as she stared off into space.