Turning The Page

Ninety

"Hey... Sweet Pea..."  I know what Daddy is about to ask me... And I know that everyone is waiting for me... Because my hair needs to get measured... But I don't want it measured if it means everyone is going to stare at me and see my face all red and all I want is to curl up into Daddy's comfy lap and close my eyes for a nap before I start to get hot again... 

 I know that the reason we haven't really started is because Alic needs my hair to be measured... But that doesn't explain why Daddy feels so tense underneath me... I don't understand why the air in the room feels so thick and it makes me feel like I might've done something wrong in the time it had taken for Daddy to fill my belly with the french toast we had shared and the time it took us to get planted right here in this chair right now. I know it's not logical... And that if I had done something to upset Daddy I would know it because he's let our minds flow so freely that they've thoroughly wrapped around each other that I'm not entirely sure where my mind ends and his consciousness starts... And I don't want to ever think that Daddy would go out of his way to hide something like me making a mistake or doing something he didn't like... He would just tell me and ask me to try and avoid doing it again. 

It feels like I might be in trouble... Even though I know I'm not... I know I'm a good boy... It's Alic that was not nice. Alic hasn't been very nice to me all week... And I can't remember a time where I felt more self-conscious than I did this past week with the way he's stared at me... The way he let his nose follow my scent and the way he lunged for me last night... The way he hasn't seemed to be able to completely focus on what he should be focusing on...  If anything I should be terrified and furious at the man for making me feel so uncomfortable. I should absolutely want Daddy to give him a reason to think twice before being lusty and weird over someone else's mate ever again... But at this point, all I really want to do is go home and never have to see him ever again. Daddy already made up his mind that we aren't coming back here, and I trust him to make it happen. 

I don't think either one of us can stomach the thought of coming back here and handling this kind of stress again, especially not with a baby... I truly cannot fathom how Becky and Collin have managed to keep up with everything going on all while taking care of Noah... They didn't even get to stay together the whole time... And I realize that the daycare did shoulder some of the responsibility during the day... But still... I know for us it would be different... I can't stand being away from Daddy... And I don't think there would be enough money to try and pay me to try and trust someone else with my baby for any amount of time... Not when I'm so excited and nervous for him to get here... 

Just the thought sends the worst kind of shivers up and down my spine and I find myself slipping my arms between us so I can press my palms right over where our little nugget should be to make sure that he knows he's safe... That his Mama won't ever leave him... I won't ever go running out the door... Especially not without saying goodbye... Our sweet Bean will always be with me and I'll always be with them and they won't ever have to worry about being told that I'm not ever coming back.

There is only a single day left of having to sit in Alic's presence and know that he's quietly thinking of things only Daddy should think about... There is only one more day to stick out before we can head home and curl up in our own bed with all of my books and chocolate and the library that should be well underway by the time we get back... There is so much to look forward to for when this day is finally over and yet here I am stretching it out because I feel too self-conscious and floaty to want to try and lean away from Daddy's warm embrace so he can measure my hair accurately for the record.

I know that if I'm a good boy and get it over with that its just one step closer to having the day be over and that much closer to us finally going home and feeling comfy in a way that we will never be able to do surrounded by a bunch of other people. I just want our peaceful solitude back... And I know that cooperating would fast track that... 

But Daddy is so cozy... And he makes me feel so much safer when he lets me be all tucked against him... All I want is to feel safe and cozy and to go home so we can feel safe and cozy together all by ourselves without everyone watching...

...

Silas

...

With Pop here... It almost feels like I can relax... But at the same time... Spotting the bruising on his knuckles and comparing it to the damage Alic's face has collected in the last twenty-four hours... I'm reminded of just how easily his nature turns, and wonder just what Alic did to warrant having to square off against a full-grown timber wolf... An aging timber... But a timber none the less. 

I know that the Royal line runs nearly as big as we do, but there would still be a notable difference between the two of them, shifted or not... Though I'm pretty sure that if Alic had been a normal wolf himself his face would be more than just black eyes and a broken nose... He'd need surgery and dentures. That is... Unless Pop just isn't swinging the way he used to. 

I'm glad that someone was swinging, regardless of who it was, even if I wasn't there to see it. Having to feel so territorial over my sweet Mama was expected just having to be around so many Alpha's at once, and we both expected it to some extent... But I didn't expect to have to sit here every day and barely be able to focus on the front of the room because I knew I'd have to resist the urge to adjust his attitude myself. 

I'm glad the two of them squared off, but I don't like the fact that Alic can still manage to function the next day... And that's only because I'm not sure if I'm actually stronger than Pop is, and my wolf has its hackles raised knowing that Alic is strong enough to stand a chance if we fight, and also from having to be in the same room as both of them knowing that the two of them aren't exactly friendly either... 

It makes me want to scoop my sweet Bean up and run... Even though to my human half... It almost seems like Dad might be here to act as backup or... rather... To keep Alic on his best behavior so I can focus on Addy. 

I'm stuck trying to figure out which instinct to listen to, even though logically I know the man barely considers me his offspring and we can't stand each other... Either way... "Sweetie... Come on, Baby... Just really quick and then on break, we can go get you some chocolate? Does that sound good?"