Reborn

Chapter 35|Cuts

I love this chapter...

Bianca's POV

Lukewarm water travelled down my soft skin. My eyes were closed and my forehead rested against the white tiled bathroom wall.

I've been in this position for twenty minutes, though it barely feels like one.

My tears were lost in the crystal clear water but my red eyes gave them away.

I let out another quiet sob, the heavy feeling in my chest weighed me down lower than I had ever felt in my life.

My shaking hands raised and I let my fingertips softly touch the wall as my sobs loudened.

Caleb's funeral is tommorow.

The thought brought even more tears into my eyes and I curled my hands into fists.

I shouldn't blame myself. I know I shouldn't but it gets harder every day, watching Emilia silently fall apart, Shawn blame himself, Asher silently cry and every other person grieving.

I feel like I let them all down.

Blaming myself is an old habit of mine that I have always had problem letting go of. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Since I got back I just haven't been in the mood for anything or anyone.

Honestly, I'm just terrified that what happened with Caleb made everyone hate me. Right now I believe Asher is my only shelter.

The others have spoken to me, Jasmine is trying to - she really is, but I can't bring myself to converse.

I don't deserve their remorse.

Especially when I'm a useless source of information. I was drugged most of the time I was kidnapped, so I barely remember anything.

At first I couldn't bring myself to tell them, I didn't want to see the disappointed looks they would have on their faces. I feel like Caleb's life was in vain all because of me. After trying so hard to get me back and after losing a life I come back with nothing to offer, just my nine fingers and pathetic tears.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my healing wound. It's still bandaged and it doesn't really hurt as much, though my finger is still gone.

I swallowed as I looked at my hand with a clenched jaw. I hate this.

I hate the fact I have a missing finger. It's going to remind me of that night for the rest of my life.

All through my kidnapping, the times I wasn't drugged, Zoe kept teasing me and calling me names like nine fingers.

To say I wanted to hurt her was an understatement. I hate that name with every bone in my body.

Zoe really tried to get under my skin, I was too weak physically to hurt her but I tried. I really fucking tried.

Hades had me trapped somewhere. I don't know the location but I know for sure I didn't spend those three days in that barn. They did nothing to me, all I remember was being locked in a cold dark room.

I did get food, just some bread in the morning and evening. Though, my mind is a bit foggy I don't remember them saying anything important while in my room.

I never saw Hades while I was taken, I never saw Melody either. I only say Antonio and Zoe.

Antonio barely spoke a word to me. The only time I saw him was when I woke up after being drugged for the first time. He was in my room, staring at me.

His seemed stoic, when he noticed me wake up we met eyes. I could see the rage behind his expressionless face, he didn't seem happy I was alive one bit. I noticed his eyes land on my hand that had the missing finger with a glimmer of satisfaction in them.