the girl on the bench

Chapter 2

I wake up at 7am without the aid of an alarm. My body is now in the routine of waking up and going for a walk. I walk to my bench at the same time every day. You would think that the same walk every day for months would get repetitive and boring but it's not for me. I've decided that repetition and routine is exactly what I need given the chaotic nature that is my work schedule. I work weekend nights at a local pub and bar so I have a pretty messed up sleeping routine. During the day I practice my painting and drawings. It's not my main source of income at the moment but it does earn me some good money, especially when I'm doing commission pieces. I've been feeling some small creative juices bubbling recently so I thought I would take my sketchpad today and draw when I get to my bench. My breakup put me in the biggest creative rut so the fact that I'm wanting to draw now is exciting and I want to take full advantage of it.

The

I head up the ramp to my bench and once the bench comes into my view, I immediately stop in my tracks. She's there. The same girl as yesterday. She's wearing different clothes than yesterday but the same denim jacket and her strawberry blonde hair still flowing in the sea breeze. Fuck. She must have heard my footsteps because she turns around to look at me. "Hi" she says and holds up her hand and waggles her fingers in a slight wave. "Hi" I say softly back and I turn around to start walking back home. I can't possibly sit there if she's already there. "Hey, nah, it's all good, I was just leaving" she says watching me and getting up quickly. She walks towards me and I stand there both awkwardly and stunned. "It's such a pretty spot you've got here I thought I would sit and take it in whilst I had the chance" she says looking out to the ocean. "Oh, no, you stay. I've been coming here for months so..." I say trailing off and turning around again to walk away. I feel like such a mess, it seems like I don't know how to interact or speak to friendly strangers. I actually haven't had much interaction with people other than my local coffee shop barista who I think has a crush on me and Alex. I hear the girl's footsteps get closer to me now and I suddenly feel a hand on the back of my arm. I turn to face her. "I've got to go anyway so it's all yours" she says gesturing towards the bench. I don't say anything and just watch her as she walks away. She turns around to look at me "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow" she says biting her bottom lip and smiling now walking backwards away from me. She turns and puts her hands in her jacket pockets.

I stop staring after a while and sit down on the bench. I'm still stunned at what just happened. Mostly at how badly I handled the situation and how I suddenly couldn't talk. I turn around and can't see her anymore. I try to shake the interaction off. Is it because I think she's cute, that she's friendly, that she's giving me attention, or simply that she's a girl? Whatever the reason is for my lack of social skills, there is no way I need someone else in my life, even if it's a friend or friendly stranger. I can't even handle my current friendships, let alone a new one. I should make a mental note to spend some time with Alex. The ocean and drawing, the two things that calm me. I open my backpack and pull out my sketchpad and pencil. I usually draw anything that comes to my head. I flip through my previous sketches and see skeletons and death followed by birds and greenery. I start sketching with no real plan on what I'm going to draw. I find those are my best sketches, when they are random and come from my feelings rather than what I'm consciously drawing.

It's been a few minutes and I look down at the page as a whole. Lips, teeth biting on lips, smiling lips, and long flowing hair. Well I can see what's exactly on my mind! Sometimes you can't help your thoughts even though you might want to.