the girl on the bench

Chapter 24

We lay in my bed facing each other. My thoughts are full of doubt but I keep remembering the kiss. Their hands on each other. The Instagram post about them being soulmates. "You're not saying much" she says to me noticing my aversion. "I don't know what to say" I say softly turning so I'm on my back. "I'm sorry... I know your hurting and you don't deserve this" she says. I avoid her eyes. "No... well yes but... I don't even think I'm allowed to feel hurt since we're not official so who am I to even tell you who to kiss. She's your ex and you guys have history, feelings are still there, you've got her initial tattooed on your hand. Compared to what you guys had, I'm nothing" I say feeling somewhat relieved to get that off my chest but guilty at the same time. I just don't know how she's going to react to those words. She moves towards me and brushes hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. Her hand lingers on my face. I take a deep breath and place my hand over hers. I can't help the tears that flow from my eyes. She pulls me into her as she lays her back on the bed and I lay my head on her chest. She squeezes me tight and kisses my hair.

——

I wake to hear my phone ringing. I look at the screen and see Charlotte's name appear. I carefully roll out of bed trying not to disturb the G who's still sleeping beside me. I close the door quietly and let the call ring out. I tip toe downstairs and call her back. "Charlotte, hi" I say confused as to her call. "Hi Sophie. Is she with you?" She says out of breath. "Yeah we're at my house, we fell asleep. Is everything OK?" I ask her. "Oh good!" She says letting out a breath "Yeah, she just wasn't answering her phone" she tells me. "Sorry, she mustn't have heard it" I assure her. "Look, I'm so sorry about last night. I feel so bad about everything" she says. "It's not your fault, Char. I didn't mean to ignore your calls or texts. I just couldn't..." I trail off not knowing what to say. "Sophie, you have to know she really likes you" my breath hitches. "She talks about you all the time... I know last night was fucked up but I'm telling you she doesn't love Jem anymore" she says trailing off. "Thanks Char" I say suddenly at a loss for words. "Don't tell her I told you that. She'll kill me. Can you just get her to call me when she's up?" She asks. "Yeah of course, bye" "Bye, Soph".

I take a moment to think about what I've been told. I'm being told the same thing from both Char and G so why don't I believe it? I do really like G and I don't want to screw this up because of my own self-esteem issues or past relationship scars. I take a deep breath and tip toe back up the stairs and into the bedroom. G is still sleeping and she looks so pretty. I carefully get back in to bed and it doesn't seem like she will wake. She's on her side and facing in my direction. I take her in. She's so beautiful. I know I shouldn't hold last night against her, it wasn't her fault. It just looked really bad. But we aren't exclusive. I mean, I haven't seen anyone else and I don't think she has either. We spend so much time together I doubt we'd have the chance to see anyone else even if it was an option. Her ex in the picture does stir up some drama but from her's and Charlotte's accounts, I shouldn't be worried. Lila has definitely ruined me and given me trust issues but G isn't Lila.

——

When G wakes up I instruct her to call Charlotte back. She does and Char reminds her that she's supposed to be doing an interview on Triple J in an hour. She still doesn't look 100% but she seems happier and spending time with her has definitely made me happier too. I walk her to the front door and stand in the door frame as she stands outside my house. "Can I see you later tonight?" She asks me and I nod. She takes my chin in her index finger and thumb and angles my head so my eyes meet hers. She doesn't say anything, just kisses me long and passionately. She smirks and heads to her car. I hate watching her leave.