the girl on the bench

Chapter 8

When G is out of sight. I storm towards Alex who is loading her car up, probably to spend the night at Nate's again. I roll my eyes. When I spot her I scream her name. "Were you guys about to kiss?" She asked me. "Well I don't know, Alex, you didn't let me find out" I say through gritted teeth. She doesn't seem affected by my irritation at all. "I thought you didn't want anything serious with this chick anyway" she says to me packing bags into the back seat of her car. "Not the point! You saw her" I saw exasperated and truthfully "She's insanely attractive and I think she likes me. Why would I want to pass that up?" Alex looks at me now "I'm not denying that she's attractive but you told me the other day you're not ready to date". I don't look at her because I know she's right. Lila broke my heart but she doesn't own me anymore. I have to fix myself some way and G is making me happy. Shouldn't that be a good enough reason? "Ugh" I say as I move past her to head into the house. 

I hear Alex's footsteps follow me inside. "Sophie!" she says behind me as I head towards my bedroom. I start picking clothes up off the floor to busy myself so I don't have to look at her. I'm angry with her and not just because she interrupted me before. It's the distance between us that seems to continue without us acknowledging it, the need that I have to talk to the person who understands me, but also the fact that she's so right about me and about my dating life. "Sophie, I didn't mean to make you upset" she says quietly. I know she hates apologising so this is a big step for her. "Alex, I haven't even seen you the past month so how can you even comment on my life at the moment" I say trying to bring up everything that is wrong between us. "You're angry because I've been hanging with Nate? Really? Was I not there for you the whole month after Lila ended things with you? Have I not been here to lend an ear whenever you need me?" she says getting angry herself. I sit down on the bed and she sits next to me in silence. "You know how needy I can be" I say softly. She puts her arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. "Yeah, babe, I know you're a needy bitch" she says making me laugh. She puts her head on my shoulder closest to her. "You're all I've got" I say realising there's tears rolling down my cheek. "God, you're so soft. I feel like I'm in a throuple with you and Nate" she says sarcastically. I smile and she lifts her head. "You're right. She is pretty" she says trying to resolve our argument earlier. "I don't know. My head is going crazy overthinking the situation" I say. "That's what you're good at!" She says and I fall backwards onto my bed. "Oh, don't be so dramatic! What's the harm in seeing where things go with her?" She says. I sit up again and look at her. "Ah, I don't know... I could get my heart broken again!" I say exasperated. "Or... You could have the best time of your life and marry the girl" She says standing up and moving towards my bedroom door. "You think I should?" I ask her needing more reassurance in my life. "Get a counsellor, Soph!" She says leaving the room and heading back to the garage "But yes, you should go for it!" she screams.

I get up and turn on my speaker. Heading to Spotify on my phone, I type in 'G Flip' into the search bar. A circle with her face pops up and I click it. She has 20 songs in total and I can see immediately that she definitely undersold herself. Nineteen million plays on a song called 'Drink Too Much'. Will this song explain what she said at the bar about how she used to handle her alcohol? I press the song and let her voice fill the room. Her voice is amazing. It's different to her raspy speaking voice. It's catchy and I find myself singing along with her. A particular lyric stands out 'Last girl she dumped me, cause I would drink too much'. That does answer a few questions I had been meaning to ask her. The next song 'About Us' plays next automatically. She wasn't kidding when she said her songs were love songs. It sounds like she really loved her ex. This makes me worried because she sounds so passionate with her singing and her lyrics. I shrug the thought off and continue cleaning my room. My thoughts change to seeing her again. I don't know whether to tell her I listened to her or if that would embarrass her. She did tell me what to search in Spotify so she has to expect that I would follow through. I listen to all her songs as I finish cleaning my room up. Thoughts of her and her music puts me in a good mood. So good in fact, that I get the urge to draw.