Memories

V

LOOKING AT ME

'Don't just stand there staring, honey
Try to move your feet
If you think they looking at you
They looking at me'

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Despite being tired, Thalia practiced with the team the whole day. It seemed to wake her up, playing exy. Even after the rest of the Foxes left the stadium, Thalia decided to stay. She said she'd catch a ride back with Wymack, after asking the coach if that was okay. Wymack just nodded, saying he had paperwork to fill in.

So Thalia stood there, scooping up balls in the net of her racquet and throwing them directly at the center of the goal. Her gaze and full attention was focused on one point and was startled into dropping her racquet when a fist pounded on the glass. Wymack stood there, tapping his wrist and then jerking a thumb to the exit. 

Thalia nodded and took off her helmet. She was panting, and hadn't realised before now that she was so tired. Wymack entered the court to help pick up the balls, and once they were all in the buckets Thalia had brought into the court with her, Wymack took them to the equipment cupboard while Thalia went to the showers. 

She peeled off her gear and stood under the hot water. Back at the homes, she didn't have to worry about sharing a space with someone. There was that level of privacy here as well, with shower stalls, but when changing out with the rest of the girls on the team, Thalia would have to stand in the locker room. 

They'd see all the scars on her body. All the ripped skin and burned flesh. The injuries might not hurt anymore, but Thalia hated looking at her body. There were many reasons for that thought process, but the scars were the largest part of Thalia's hatred. She didn't want to look at herself and see what they saw. Didn't want to let herself see her body the way they saw it.

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The day she'd arrived had been a Saturday, so the Sunday was the day Thalia really moved in. When Thalia had arrived at the dorm room she was sharing with the other girls it had been late, and all three of them had been asleep. Thalia didn't mind, and she didn't want to disturb them, so she dumped her bag by the couch and curled up in the corner of the room, her back pressed into where the walls met and her knees pressed to her chest.

"Do you think she's actually asleep?" came a whisper-shout. Thalia kept her eyes closed.

"Is she dead?" came another.

"No, Allison. She's breathing, look." that was definitely Renee. 

Thalia forced her eyelids open. By principle she was a light sleeper. The haunting of nightmares and the threat of those around her made her that way. Thalia stood, cracking her bones and stretching her muscles as she did. The older girls moved back from where they'd been standing over Thalia.

"Not dead." Thalia said simply, and walked into the kitchen. The girls didn't say anything, and at least one of them followed her. Thalia reached up to one of the shelves, looking for a mug, and her shirt must have ridden up because there was a sharp intake of breath. Thalia looked to see Dan looking at her hip. Thalia frowned and pulled the shirt down. "Where are the cups."

Dan was startled, but swallowed her questions and pointed to a cabinet. Thalia opened it and found what she was looking for. Silence encompassed the room as Thalia began making herself a cup of tea. She was glad the girls even had tea, because they hadn't taken Thalia as big drinkers of the stuff.

It didn't take Thalia long to get annoyed by the attention on her and she turned to the older girls. "Alcohol." Thalia asked. Dan frowned at her now. It was unusual to be drinking this early in the morning. Thalia knew that. But she needed just a little bit to take the edge off everything that was happening in her life right now. "Alcohol." she said again.

"It's in the fridge! we only keep white in the dorm." Allison called from the living room, obviously having heard Thalia's request. "You don't like that, go see Kevin two doors down. He'll probably have something stronger. He likes vodka and whiskey." Thalia's eyes glowed with that comment. She took off down the hall before Dan could say anything else. 

Wymack had pointed out who lived in which dorm last night as he'd brought Thalia back to her own, and so she knocked heavily on the one she remembered was Kevin's. It took a few minutes for someone to answer, and even then, it wasn't the player she was hoping to see.

"What do you want this fucking early?" Nicky said angrily, rubbing a hand over his face. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of ways, and his eyes were narrowed from not being used to the light yet. He'd obviously just woken up.

"Kevin. Alcohol." Thalia said and held up her mug of tea that was cooling down by this point. Nicky sighed and let her in. "Thanks." she walked into the dorm. There were a few beanbags in front of the tv, but no sofa. The desks were pushed up against a wall, and apart from a mirror, there was nothing else to decorate the room.

"He keeps his stash under his bed," Nicky said. "He thinks we don't know where it is. But it's pretty obvious." Thalia was tense because Nicky was behind her. She didn't like that, but had a cup of hot tea in her hand that she wouldn't hesitate to use if things went south. "I'll be right back. You got a preference?" Thalia shrugged, not really caring. She didn't like wine. That was her only objection, and the reason she'd left her dorm for Kevin's personal stash.

When Nicky reappeared, he seemed slightly defeated and was being followed by Kevin Day. Thalia didn't know much about him, other than the fact that he'd grown up with Tetsuji Moriyama, who had created exy with Kevin's mother. He'd played the game most of his life, and was the best striker in exy history. Even with the hand injury that had cost him his career.

"I wanted to see the bitch who wanted ins on my liquor stash," Kevin said to Thalia's raised eyebrow. "One time, Warden. You prove yourself on the court, and I might let you have more." Kevin handed a bottle of vodka to Nicky and went back to the bedroom after stink-eyeing Thalia's smirk.

"Here you go then, I guess. But aren't you a little young for this?" Nicky said, hesitantly handing over the alcohol. Thalia took it and uncapped the bottle, not saying anything in response to Nicky's question, and pouring a substantial amount into her mug. Then she handed the bottle back to Nicky.

"Thanks." she said and headed out of the room and back to her own. When Thalia was back in her dorm, Dan smiled at her and asked if she wanted to mover her stuff in. "Sure, I guess." Thalia said, taking a sip of her drink. She winced at the taste. Either the tea bags or the whiskey were out of date, and Thalia guessed it wasn't the alcohol. By the sounds of it, Kevin drank regularly. There was no way any of his stuff would go out of date by the time he'd finished it.

"So that's your bed. You can go out and buy some sheets today." Dan said. Thalia froze. The bed Dan was pointing to only had the headboard against a wall. That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.

"No." Dan looked confused by Thalia's words. "I told Wymack I'd play for him if my bed had a wall against it. This isn't what I meant." Thalia pointed at the bed. "That is, though." she motioned towards the top bunk bed on the other side of the room. "So either I switch with whoever's bed that is, or I don't play." Dan was silent.

"Renee," Dan called. The girl popped into the doorway, humming and with a smile on her face. "Is it okay if you and Thalia switch beds?" Renee looked at Thalia and nodded. "Thanks Renee." 

"I'll move my stuff while you're out shopping. You can just put your bag on the bed for now." Renee said. Thalia didn't say that she was taking it with her, but nodded in thanks that Renee had agreed to switch without question. Thalia took her bag into the bathroom and looked away from the mirror as she changed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. The team seemed understanding of Thalia's habits, even if she didn't open up about anything, and didn't seem to mind her distance. She was beginning to think this was one of the best decisions she'd made. She was just hoping she didn't speak too early.