Memories

XXX

POKER FACE

'A little gambling is fun when you're with me 
Russian roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby, when it's love, if it's not rough, it isn't fun'

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"You need to stop making a habit of this," Thalia sighed and turned, paintbrush in hand. Andrew was walking around her studio, not for the first time that week. Thalia had quickly figured it was the nerves of meeting Nicky's parents. She didn't know what had happened between Andrew and Luther, but it was clear he didn't trust the man. Andrew hummed.

"I find your paintings calming," he said, looking closely at one with a king chess piece, though its shadow was a queen. It was one of the only pieces in the room that didn't have a living thing on the canvas. "And I'm feeling very much the opposite right now."

"Why?" Thalia asked, knowing she probably wouldn't be getting an answer, and was surprised when she did.

"I told him," Andrew said, still looking at paintings. Thalia understood almost immediately - Andrew told Luther about Drake. It was probably why he was hesitant to go to Columbia for lunch. Luther likely didn't take it well, or didn't believe Andrew at all, and brushed it off, forgetting about it completely. Suddenly Thalia wasn't so sure she should have told Nicky what his mother had asked of them.

"Oh," was all she could think of to say. It was all she could say, really. She thought of how emotionless Andrew seemed when off his drugs, and how it was almost definitely linked to childhood trauma. Then she thought how nobody could be completely emotionless, even Andrew. They were just suppressed so as to not get hurt again.

"I have a theory," Thalia said, putting down her things and speaking as if she'd been pondering on these thoughts for months instead of minutes. Andrew hummed to show he was listening as he analysed a painting with a rose emerging from a wrist.

"You tell people you don't care about anything. Don't want anything. But I think it's all to throw them off your back. You don't want people to think that you care, but really, you care so much about everything and feel as if you have to conceal it all." Thalia spoke. She saw the obvious tension in Andrew's shoulders, but pretended she didn't. For his sake.

"And what made you come to that conclusion?" Andrew asked, voice strained.

"Well, first of all, you changed your surname when you got out of juvie and went to live with Aaron and Tilda. Then, you killed Tilda to protect Aaron." Thalia said. "You got yourself thrown into juvie to protect Aaron from Drake, and then when you found out what Tilda was doing to him, you changed your behaviour so you could get out of there early. Do you see my pattern with this?" Andrew didn't say anything, so Thalia prompted him again. "I don't really care for Aaron, but it's clear to me that you do. And I understand why, he's your brother. If I found out I had a brother I hadn't known my whole life, I'd be pretty protective of him too."

Thalia thought of herself and Neil then, and wondered how similar they were to Andrew and Aaron. Not very, was her answer. But there were similarities. Ones that she liked to think about, and ones she wished she wouldn't.

"We have a deal," Andrew said. "That is all. I give him protection, and he sticks with me until graduation."

"You work heavily on deals, don't you," Thalia said. "But Nicky doesn't have one. And I don't have one. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you," Andrew said, smiling and showing Thalia his insecurities, though he probably didn't mean to. "I'm leaving now. Goodbye." and then he did. His uncomfortableness and willingness to change the topic gave Thalia a clear idea of how right she was. She didn't want to admit it, but Andrew needed more help than his therapist was giving him.

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Sunday rolled around, and after a quick trip to Exites where Neil got a new racquet - a heavy one, at Kevin's request - the six of them headed to Nicky's parents' house. When they got out of the car, Nicky looked extremely nervous. Thalia took him by the shoulders and forced him to look down at her.

"Maybe this was a mistake," he said. Thalia shook her head.

"No, we're not backing out of this." she said. "This was your idea, you want to fix things with your parents, and I'm going to help you as much as I can because I'm sure these four are useless as fuck when it comes to family." Nicky let out a huff through his nose and nodded. Thalia let him go and looped her arm in his. "Alrighty. Let's go."

"Andrew, what are you doing?" Aaron asked, getting Thalia's attention. Andrew had Neil's racquet and was heading towards Luther's car.

"He's got a very shiny car for a minister." Andrew said. "I'm going to rough it up a bit for him." Neil reached out for the stick and took it from Andrew's hands. Nicky was shaking in Thalia's arms, and she held him tightly for support.

Nicky and Thalia stood right in front of the door, and she waited patiently for him to ring the doorbell. Eventually, Nicky sighed and lifted his hand, pressing the button, before almost running to the edge of the stairs, taking Thalia with him.

Nicky's mother answered the door. She was easily recognisable, and Thalia took all of two seconds figuring out all the resemblances between Maria and her son. She was smiling politely, which was so unlike Nicky that Thalia almost had to make a double-take. 

"Why did you ring the doorbell?" she asked her son, instead of saying hello to the group.

"This isn't my house anymore," Nicky said. Thalia squeezed his arm, showing her silent support. She smiled, too, slightly threateningly at Maria. She turned to Thalia, who held out a hand, overenthusiastically asking for a handshake. Maria took it.

"Hi, I'm Thalia. We spoke on the phone." Maria's eyes lit with a certain kind of recognition and she moved aside for the group to come inside. Thalia, still attached to Nicky's side, thanked her and walked inside. She didn't like Nicky's mother by the fact that she hated her son for being gay, but was willing to try for her friend's sake.