Memories

XXXVIII

YELLOW FLICKER BEAT

'I'm a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm
And the scars that mark my body, they're silver and gold
My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones
It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me'

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Hey everyone! First of all, I just wanted to say a huge thank you for a thousand reads. It really means a lot to me and it encourages me to continue writing, even when people I personally know tell me that writing and doing what I love will get me nowhere in life. Second, it's my birthday next Sunday, and I wanted to do something special, so if you guys want to ask me any questions about me, or the story, or anything at all, feel free to either comment or send me a message and I'll answer it!
That's all, and again, thank you so much!

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"No," Thalia said and looked at the therapist. "No, it's too early."

"That's what Abby said," Neil muttered, grabbing Thalia's attention immediately.

"You knew?" she asked, knowing she sounded slightly desperate.

"I overheard them this morning," Neil said, looking stunned by the fact that Thalia had heard him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Thalia demanded Betsy.

"The right thing."

Andrew turned to his therapist. "Look at that, Bee. They want me sober as much as the next person, but only if it's the right time. I warned you, didn't I? Who will take care of Kevin while I'm gone? I can't trust him wandering around here on his own, and coach can't be with him all the time. Kevin's kind of a full time job."

"I'll watch him," Neil spoke up. Thalia, along with every other eye in the room, turned to him. 

"You?" Andrew asked, as if repeating it would make what Neil had said any more realistic and believable. Thalia knew Andrew didn't trust Neil, especially not enough to protect Kevin. Neil didn't say anything more, but Andrew took a few steps and pushed him. He moved forwards again, but Neil was ready for the attack and grabbed Andrew's arms, pulling Andrew with him.

"Oh Neil," Andrew said, smile firmly in place. "You and I both know you have a dreadful sense of humour, so this can't be a joke. What are you saying? What are you trying to do?" he asked in German. Thalia was the only other person in the room who could understand their conversation, but she didn't show any emotion, just like she'd trained herself not to.

"Take responsibility." Neil replied in German, using Andrew's own words against him.

"Usually such a good liar, but this time you aren't fooling anyone." Andrew said. "Am I to believe you'll hold your ground if Riko comes at you? Maybe I'll come back and you won't be here anymore."

"If I was going to leave, I would have done so at the banquet when Riko said my name," Neil said. "I won't lie and say I didn't think about it, but I trusted you more than I was scared of him. Trust me now. I'm not going anywhere. I'll take care of Kevin until you get back."

"Trust you," Andrew said and laughed, curling his fingers around Neil's chin. "You lie, and lie, and lie. And you expect me to trust you?"

"Then don't trust 'Neil'. Trust me."

"Oh, but who are you? Do you have a name?"

"If you need one, you can call me Abram." Neil said and Thalia remembered the day she'd met Kevin and Riko. Neil had called himself Abram then, and had called Thalia Anne. "I'm named after my father. Abram is my middle name. It's the name my mother used when she was trying to protect me from his work. Ask Kevin, he would know."

"Maybe I will." Andrew said. Neither of them said anything, but Andrew didn't move away. Then, Neil took Andrew's hand and slid it up his shirt. If his skin was anything like Thalia's, then Neil was probably showing Andrew all his scars. He couldn't have the rest of the room knowing, especially Betsy, so this was clearly the next best choice.

"Someone lied to me," Andrew said. "These ouches feel a little rough for a child on the run."

"The story I gave you was mostly true," Neil said. "I might have left out some critical details, but I know you're not surprised by that. If we survive this year and you're still interested, you can ask me about them. I think it's your turn in our secrets game, anyway."

Andrew pulled his arm free and folded both of them across his chest. Then he walked back to Kevin and smiled up at him. "It'll have to do, won't it?" he said. Thalia let out a breath and leaned against the wall behind her, trying not to look as nervous as she really was.

"I'll go see if Nicky is still breathing, then we can go, Bee." Andrew said and walked down the hall to Nicky's room. Thalia turned to Neil.

"Why did you tell him you could protect Kevin?" Thalia asked him. "We both know - as does Andrew - that that's not completely the truth. There's no way you and I will be able to beat the Moriyamas at this game. There's no way, Abram." Neil tensed. He knew Thalia was right, but she knew he had to try. Neil wasn't about to break his promise to Andrew, and Thalia wasn't going to break hers to Kevin - she would try to heal, and she would let him help.

"I know, Anne, but I have to try my best, and with your help, we can at least keep him safe until Andrew gets back." Neil said, not looking into Thalia's eyes. She huffed and went out the back to the garden. 

Thalia pulled a cigarette out of her pocket, and it took a few tries to get her lighter working. She cradled the heat in her palm and drummed her fingers on the railing of the deck. The door opened and closed a few minutes later and she was joined by Kevin.

"You don't think he can keep me safe, do you?" he asked. Thalia sighed and offered him the cigarette. Kevin shook his head and Thalia took another drag before stomping it out on the wood beneath her feet. She turned and put her back against the railing, looking to her left where Kevin was looking up at her.

"I do," she said. "At least until Andrew gets back." Thalia sighed. "Look, Kevin. I don't regret whatever's happening between the two of us, but now with Andrew going away, I think it would be best if me and Neil focused on keeping you safe from the Moriyamas." Kevin stood, and Thalia noticed he seemed to loom over her.

"What about keeping you safe from the Moriyamas?" he argued. Thalia looked away, but Kevin grabbed her chin and turned it back to him. "Thalia, I understand what you're saying about us, but I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. Not again." he said the last part quietly and Thalia's heart shattered into a million pieces. She put her hand on Kevin's face and he leaned into it like he had that morning.

"You won't lose me, Kevin." Thalia whispered. She knew what she was saying was foolish, and that Kevin was right - they needed each other more now than ever before. But she didn't want to have to be looking after herself and so many other people at the same time. She'd always known that attachments were wrong. They got you caught, got you killed. 

"Then don't do this," he said, eyes seeming to brim with tears. Thalia's own were pooling with water. "Don't push me away, Lia. I need you. I care about you." she closed her eyes and looked down. Kevin had won this battle, and she was willing to accept defeat. He understood and took her in a hug. 

She'd need all the support she could get over the next few weeks, and knew Kevin could give her that support, even if she tried to push him away. Kevin Day was determined in everything he strived for. Exy. Life. Thalia. There was nothing and no one that would pull them apart. Not even Riko Moriyama.