It's me ✓

Chapter 4

"Hi, my little whore" someone said breathing on my neck.

"Leave me..." I struggled in his hands

"No... Never..." He said and turned me around " why would I leave you, after all, you are a whore like you said... Right?" He said looking angrily at me.

"Shut up..." I yelled at him

"Why? Does it hurt? Haan? Whore... Whore... Whore... Does it hurt now you whore?" He insulted me again.

"I said shut up" I yelled pushing him away and slapped his cheek...

He stayed there staring at the floor

I leaned to the wall... Tears flowing from my eyes as I stare at him...

"Why Anni... Why are you doing this... Why are you hurting both of us?" I asked in a small voice to him...

"Don't... Don't call me Anni... I will always be your Appu..." He said and tried to cup my cheek but I moved away from him.

Hurt flashed in his eyes and he looked away sighing and mumbled "sorry..."

"Move, I need to go..." I said

"No... Please stay... I want to talk..." He pleaded with his eyes.

"But I don't want to..." I hissed at him.

"Why Durga? Is that because of your so-called impurity thing? Then I already gave my peace of mind about that... I Don't care about it... Durga, that incident doesn't define who you are!! " He said angrily.

"Oh really? Then what about the name you called me a minute ago?"

"That's the name you had given to yourself Durga, not me. When I confessed my feelings to you that was the answer you gave to me!!"

I didn't say anything... Because he is right, that was my reply to him...

"What Miss. Durga cat got your tongue?" He asked smirking at me.

"Appu I don't have time for this stupidity... If you are going to talk about being my life partner then it's a no from me and always will be... Now let me go..." I said looking away from him.

"Can you please explain why your answer will be no... Didn't I told you I love you, not your body... For me, you are perfect Durga... I don't care about anything else, I only need you... Can't you just take it to your thick skull..." He yelled at me.

"No, I can't... Why are you not understanding me Appu... I am not the one for you... Accept it and move on..." I yelled back.

"No, it's you who needs to accept the truth... Durga what happened is past, let it go and live happily in your present... Your past can only bring you pain and you are still hugging it. Let it go... "

"Easier said than done... You try to think from my shoes then only you know what I am going through... Everyone says, Durga it's just a bad past and forget it... And you here saying to accept your love and be happy with you... But what about my feelings... My nightmares... Can any of you wash away my memories? no naahh? I can still feel his hands on my body... I can still feel every pain he inflicted on my body... I can see that broken self inside me... Who is going to change this... You?... Or the others?...

No one will be able to do that Appu... No one... Your love can't change the way I feel... Your beautiful words can't change the dirtiness I am feeling inside me... I can never be happy or can make you happy... Please Appu let me be... Leave me alone... I know you care about me and I only want your friendship, not anything else..." I said and ran away from there...

I was so happy when I knew Appu is in my college, he was in a different department but we used to meet at intervals. He is the one who came and introduced first. Now, he is not that shy little boy... he is a handsome man a very handsome one... All the girls drool over him but he only spends time with me and says 'I only need you as my friend'... At that time he didn't know about my past and gets angry when some say any dirty things towards me or calls me a slut...

One day he took me to a coffee shop, he was so tensed about something when I asked he just brushed it off saying it's nothing...

When we finished our coffee I started to get up but he took my hand, when I looked at him, he was on his knees smiling at me...

"Appu what the hell... Why are you sitting like this... Did your legs hurt?" I asked in worry

"No... It's... I want to say something to you..." He said nervously.

"You can say anything to me, but first stand up from the floor, everyone is looking at us" I tugged on his hands

"Durga, I love you... Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked and I stood there staring at him in horror.

"Durga?" He called again...

I pulled away my hand from him and ran out from there... My eyes were overflowing with tears... I couldn't breathe properly, someone was choking me...

I felt so tired, my hands and legs were shaking...

I stopped running and leaned on a wall trying to breathe properly...

'How can he ask that to me... I am... I am... I don't deserve love... This society will never let me...' I thought crying.

"Durga... Durga... Why did you run away... If you don't like me like that way then...then it's okay..." He said sadly...

"It's... it's not about you Appu... It's me... I am not perfect for any man..."

"Durga no one is perfect everyone has their flaws... And I don't need you to be perfect... I just want you to be you... My Durga..." Said him cupping my face.

I pushed his hands away and yelled " why can't you understand Appu... I am not perfect... I am a piece of used meat... A whore.... This whole world knows that, except you... Why do you think all those men around me calls me a slut... Why they invite me to their bed... Why are they demanding me to spend the night with them... Because I am that... A whore... A slut... Who gives them pleasure when they want..."

"Stop it Durga... Do you have any f***king idea what you are saying!!" He asked angrily.

"Yes, Appu, I am in my right mind... It's you who is not... Open your eyes and see what's going on around you..." I said and he stayed there staring at me.

"I know you will not feel the same about me anymore after knowing the truth... And it's fine... I will not talk with you anymore if you don't want to... I didn't say it first because... Because I don't want that dirty look in your eyes as everyone has... Bye..." I said and left from there letting him in his world...

But after two days he came back and said he doesn't care about my past and he wants to make my present and future happy... What can I say to him... I don't know what he is thinking while saying all this... Maybe he will realize the truth when someone he deserves comes to his life...

I went to the washroom and washed my face... My eyes and face were red..."God, what will I say to Nith... That girl will kill Appu" I said while wiping my face.

I sighed and went to the classroom making up a lie.

"Uff Durga why did you take this much time... I am starving com-... Wait were you crying... Who the hell did that... Give me the name, I will beat the shit out of him..."

" Nith... Nith... It's nothing... Look, I am ok... It's just some dust fell on my eyes..."

"Durga don't lie to me..."

"Nith am saying the truth... Come I am so hungry... Come naahh..." I dragged that angry bull with me...

This girl!!

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