some haikyuu! one shots i guess

no sweeter innocence

the truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek.

everybody needs comfort.

[caution: mentions of homophobia, reader discretion is advised.]

kageyama hurriedly locked the bathroom door behind him before pulling out his phone. his fingers were trembling as he scrolled through his contacts and pressed on the one with hinata's picture. just the sight of his smiling face throwing up a peace sign seemed to loosen the knot in kageyama's stomach, just slightly. his fingers kept throwing anxious spasms as he frantically texted: i need you.

kageyama stared at his phone for five minutes straight, waiting for hinata to answer, but it didn't happen. he had to strain not to throw his phone against the wall; his body wasn't doing what he wanted to right now, his heart racing at an immeasurable rate, his breathing cut short. he had to sit down on the closed toilet seat to catch his breath and try to keep his mind off what was waiting for him outside the bathroom door. but it was impossible. and it wasn't as if kageyama could stay in here forever.

slowly, with extreme trepidation, kageyama turned the doorknob and peeked outside. his mother could still be seen in his room, her eyes wide with shock as she tentatively flipped through the pages of his diary. then she clamped a hand to her mouth before calling out for kageyama's father.

kageyama chest tightened. he had to make a run for it, and quick. once his mother said it out loud, told his father, there was no turning back. they were going to confront kageyama, and he didn't know what he was going to say when they did.

before his father could respond, kageyama crept out of the bathroom, and with the speed of an athlete, he dashed down the hallway and out the door, not bothering to grab a jacket or hoodie to protect himself from the cold. he heard his father calling after him, asking him why he was leaving, but kageyama couldn't bring himself to answer. he stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way down the street, more anxieties about what his parents would do if he came back bubbling up in his stomach, but he pushed them down, closing his eyes and shivering from the cold.

his breathing became easier and his heart rate slowed as he walked, as he got further away from his house, from his problems. he knew he couldn't stay out here forever, but he was going to be gone as long as it was possible. maybe he'd just sneak back home once his parents were asleep, get to bed, and wake up before his parents did. it was already fairly late anyways. but he'd have to face his parents sometime.

kageyama continued to walk around aimlessly, however, for quite long, the waves of shame and regret and fear crashing at him at intervals.

he'd felt the shame before, though never quite as intensely as right now. it always creeped through him, twisting up his insides, making him feel all hot and terrible for being the way he was. a tiny voice in his head tried to reassure him: it's not like you've done anything. but he'd thought about doing things, which was just as bad, and to make things worse, he'd gone and written about it in his diary.

there came the regret. there was no reason for kageyama to write things like that down - he didn't know any boy his age who kept a diary in the first place (that should have been a tell-tale sign for his parents). but he had decided to do it, because he needed to get his feelings out. it was all so stupid, he should've just kept it all to himself, he should've known someone could easily get their hands on it... and now he didn't know what to do.

the fear was the worst of it. that prickly, gut-twisting anxiety of what his parents would say when kageyama got home. he didn't think they would try to hurt him, but he knew that anything they said or did would hurt him enough. he knew for a fact they wouldn't approve of anything he'd written about himself.