The(questionable) burdens of leadership of a troll Emperor by Noodlehammer

Chapter 5

"Oma baby! So nice to see you again!"

Despite his exuberant greeting, Oma Desala did not rush into Naruto's arms as if he was a long lost friend, instead simply gazing at him with a neutral expression.

"So..." Naruto began and lowered his arms when it became obvious that he wasn't getting a hug or a response. "How've you been? Has anyone licked your ectoplasmic nipples lately?"

Resisting the urge to sigh and reminding herself that this was only to be expected from him, she answered with the characteristic calm of the Ascended. "I have been well."

"Clearly you haven't if there wasn't any ghost sex." Naruto refuted with a sad sigh for her. Immortality without sex was just plain depressing.

"I am not a ghost Naruto."

"I must disagree." He argued back. "You ascended at the moment of death, converting your body mass into pure energy, allowing your spirit to exist consciously in a non-corporeal state. That is more or less the definition of a ghost, making me technically correct, which is the best kind of correct."

"Is a ghost not incapable of affecting the physical world?" She asked pointedly despite her disinterest in playing these games with him.

In the ten cycles of Terra since she'd last spoken with him, Oma had come to the conclusion that trying to get directly to the point with him was apparently something that he saw as a challenge and would purposefully clog the conversation with sexual innuendo and digression.

She could only wish that she could speak to him in the same manner as she spoke to the occasional mortal that found one of her sanctuaries and began walking the path towards ascension, but that was just wishful thinking. Naruto wasn't interested in learning anything from her and would likely have little tolerance for metaphor.

"Obviously not since you can do it." He countered with indisputable circular logic. By the grin on his face, he no doubt knew that he was not being very persuasive and simply didn't care. "But this is no way to have a conversation! Both of us should be in the same state of matter for a proper one."

Wary of being forced into corporeality again, Oma tried to shift things in her favor. "Will you then discard the flesh and allow me to see the light of your soul?"

Naruto gave her an aghast expression and spoke in a tone of incredulity. "Woman, are you crazy? I did not spend years of my life sculpting this body to perfection only to abandon it now."

Before any counter argument could be made to the effect of him being able to rebuild it instantly at any time, of her existing as a non-corporeal form for millenia, or of the greater ease of conversation between two spirits, Oma experienced the familiar vertigo of being forced into a physical body.

A wolf whistle brought her attention back to him and she straightened up from where she'd been leaning on a nearby wall. While the meaning of the whistle escaped her, the leer as he looked her over did not.

Apparently she was back in her younger form, though it felt as if her breasts were somewhat larger than before, not to mention that there was a musculature to the body that spoke of dedication to physical exercise that she had never had. She barely remembered what her real body had felt like, but she knew that it hadn't been anywhere near this strong.

Perhaps the most glaring change from the appearance she took as an ascended being were the clothes she now wore. Instead of the modest white dress she was now wearing a sleeveless, skintight black vest that left her stomach bare and exposed far too much of her breasts to be comfortable. Aside from that insufficient article of clothing she only wore a matching pair of skintight black pants made of the same soft and rather comfortable material.