The(questionable) burdens of leadership of a troll Emperor by Noodlehammer

Chapter 20

And I am returned with a new chapter.

This one was a bit harder to write than the last few for various reasons, which was the cause of it taking so much longer. There is also the fact that I played through the first two Assassin's Creed games during this time.

Sorry to keep you all waiting, but I did warn you not to get too used to the super fast updates xD.

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SG-1 walked out of the stargate on Erius and were almost immediately baffled.

Naruto was standing nearby, arms crossed and looking a lot bigger and more intimidating than he'd been on video. Aside from the absurd lack of concern that the ruler of a sovereign nation had for his own safety, this wasn't all that strange.

The MALP they'd sent through was sitting a short distance away. This was normal. What wasn't normal was the garish sex toy pink color of it.

"Did you paint our MALP pink?!" Jack asked incredulously.

"No." Naruto denied smoothly. "It was like that when it got here."

The blatant lie brought SG-1 up short. They most certainly had not sent through a pink MALP, but they weren't sure if calling bullshit on the Emperor of a technologically advanced nation was an altogether good idea.

When in doubt, Jack defaulted to sarcasm.

"Ah yes, don't you just hate it when the stargate randomly dyes stuff pink?" He asked, ignoring the look he got from Daniel for it.

"If you think that's bad, then you don't want to be around when the pattern buffer malfunctions and starts fusing things together. On an unrelated note, don't try having sex while going through the gate."

Two members of SG-1 cringed at the thought and one raised an eyebrow. Carter was the only one that was reasonably sure that something like that couldn't happen, but was once again unwilling to call him on it.

"It's an honor to meet you in person Emperor Uzumaki." Daniel said formally, deciding to go through the introductions instead of dwelling on that disturbing thought. "Allow me to introduce us; our team leader is Colonel Jack O'Neill...:"

"Howdy." Jack interjected jauntily.

"Obviously also the team smartass." Naruto deduced, smirking at the look O'Neill gave him.

"Samantha Carter, theoretical astrophysicist and captain in the United States Air Force."

"A smart blue-eyed blonde that can kick ass, how very master race of you." The horned man commented, bringing the introduction to a screeching halt.

"Did you just call me a Nazi?!" Carter asked, both incredulous and offended.

"What's a Nazi?" Naruto asked innocently.

Sam settled into a sort of confused irritation, realizing that the horned man couldn't possibly know what a Nazi was.

...could he?

Meanwhile, Jack was beginning to suspect that Daniel was barking up the wrong tree with his diplomatic approach.

"Next we have Teal'c." Daniel hastened to say, wanting to avoid any diplomatic incidents.

"The former First Prime of Apophis." Naruto interrupted yet again. "The last time I saw you was when you were running for your life away from my ship."

Teal'c's face became stony at what he perceived as an accusation of cowardice.

Much frazzled by now, Daniel nevertheless still tried to be diplomatic. "And I'm doctor Daniel Jackson."