30 Ways to Piss Off The Harry Potter Cast [Watty Awards 2011]

30 Ways to Piss Off Bellatrix

Warning: Some language and humor may be considered offensive. Proof of #30 is in the video to the right. :P Bleagh.

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30 Ways to Piss Off Bellatrix

1) Buy her some shampoo, a straightener, and some scissors. Actually, you might want to go with shears.

2) Admit her into St. Mungo's, right next to the Longbottoms.

3) Tell her about Voldemort and Wormtail's affair.

4) Then tell her it'll never be her. The Dark lord doesn't want to make babies with a wolverine.

5) Actually, for the world's sake, forbid her from making babies with Voldemort. Their kids would be a nightmare.

6) Imitate her cackle in the middle of Death Eater meetings.

7) Insult Voldemort.

8) Ask her how Tonks is doing.

9) Insinuate that maybe she isn't Pureblood - she's actually the result of a night in Vegas.

10) Ask her about the food quality in Azkaban.

11) Ask her why Voldemort hasn't proposed yet.

12) Ask her how that affair with Sirius is going.

13) Point at her hair and run away screaming whenever she walks by.

14) Yell, "Expecto Patronum" at her whenever she approaches.

15) Ask her when she's planning on carrying through with her death threats to Harry Potter.

16) Ask her how she feels about Voldemort always having private "meetings" with Lucius and not her.

17) Then suggest a night at a bar to get rid of that "lonely" feeling, since her husband won't help.

18) Suggest Polyjuicing into someone else first though.

19) Ask her how many times she was dropped as a baby.

20) Ask her if you can poke her face.

21) Charm her mirror to shriek in horror every time she looks in it.

22) Dress up as Sirius and follow her around, cackling madly.

23) Steal her wand and throw it up into the Whomping Willow's branches.

24) Ask her how it's possible to live without a heart.

25) Get her a male dog. When asked why, say, "Well, two bitches don't make more bitches, do they?"

26) Tell her that she reminds you of Mrs. Weasley. All that motherly affection towards Voldemort and all...if it can be called motherly...

27) Throw her a surprise party and invite Harry, Sirius, Dumbledore, and Tonks as the guests of honor.

28) Tell her the story of the Ugly Duckling. Then tell her she'll become a beautiful swan someday.

29) Ask her if she'd be willing to babysit your cousin's kids, since she's so fond of kids.

30) Introduce her to Hermione/Bellatrix fanfiction.