Bridge To My Heart

PART 17 - Running

You ran.

As fast as your feet could carry you, you ran.

You didn't even bother to wait for the woman and her child - Jin's child - to leave the park. You took off as soon as realization had kicked in. You crossed the bridge without glancing sideways, because you knew in your heart you would have given into the emotions threatening to consume you if you stopped running. Your legs felt like jelly, knees threatened to buckle under your weight, but you didn't care - you needed to run.

So you ran, and ran, and ran, pushing forward with all your might, ignoring the burning sensation on the soles of your feet.

You almost miss your house in your haste, and when you're finally inside, you chug down a large glass of tap water, not bothered by the spillage you were making all over the kitchen.

What you need is answers. But Jin's phone only goes to voicemail.

You flop down onto the couch and throw off your sneakers, suddenly angered by your recent choices. Dumb. That's how you feel. If you didn't go out for a stupid run, you wouldn't have bumped into his ex wife and his child.

Jin's child.

How stupid had you been not to even ask if a child existed. But it was important, something he should have told you. Why keep it a secret?

So many questions swarm your mind. You begin to doubt everything - nothing was as it seemed. But then again, how sure were you that the woman you encountered was in fact his ex wife? Her resemblance to Jimin, who you had only met a few days ago in Jin's office, was uncanny. You felt it in your heart that the woman you came face to face with today was definitely the twin sister Jimin spoke of that day. You try to recall the child's face, but her features very much resembled those of her mother's, so it was hard to tell if she was Jin's daughter.

"Maybe I'm just overthinking things again," you say to yourself as you lean back into the cushions. Surely Jin would have told you if he had a child.

You twist your questions around in your mind for a while; so long that you feel the first throbbing signs of a migraine set in. You find some painkillers in your medical kit, and take two pills, forgetting that you haven't had breakfast yet. Soon enough the pain snakes down to your empty stomach, and feeling woozy, you drag your feet towards the bedroom, where you fall into the bed and curl into a ball, drifting to sleep, with the lingering questions and regrets of your choices hovering above your head like a dark cloud.

***

"Jin, come here," you said with a warm smile, calling your lover over to you with a wave. In one arm you cradled a soft bundle - what felt like a fluffy blanket, but heavier. You turned when he walked towards you, showing off that star-studded smile which touched his eyes. He slid his arm across your shoulders and pulled you into a kiss, when a soft whining sound came from the blanket in your hand. You both looked down, giggling in unison, when he held out both his hands and you handed over the blanket to him. He lifts the bundle over his head, cooing and mimicking the sounds of a baby. When you look up, you see the little girl from the park. She calls out to Jin, silently at first, which causes him to laugh again, then she calls out, "Appa!" loudly, and he holds her close to his chest, kissing the top of her head. He's about to reach out for you, when the sound of footsteps interrupt, stiletto heels clicking on tiles. Like temptation herself in a figure-hugging red dress which ended mid-thigh, she approached you, pulled her sunglasses off with finesse, then looked you dead in the eye before turning and placing her red-stained lips on Jin's mouth. You felt your stomach twist as you fell over and held your belly, sharp stabbing bolts of pain ripping through your insides, a sob escaped you as you watched Jin and the woman walking away with their child, the woman snapping her head back and laughing sadistically, her lips peeled so far back from her teeth you could see her gums. Even looking like the devil incarnate, she was beautiful. And with a puff of smoke they're gone, leaving you alone, feeling like the walls were closing in around you.