TO LIVE. jnh ✓

thirty

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"YOU'RE early." doctor yoon exclaimed surprisingly when i showed up outside his office at 7:50. i frowned, "i'm pretty sure i'm just on time, sir."

doctor yoon chuckled and waved his hands dismissively, "don't call me 'sir'. makes me feel old. just call me jeonghan ssi, alright?"

"alright, si— jeonghan ssi." i corrected myself and a grin showed itself on jeonghan's face. 

he clapped his hands together and his smile grew even wider (if that's even possible), "come on! we have three patients to check on every day: kim mingyu, lee jihoon and wen junhui. i'll be transferring junhui to you since mingyu and soonyoung both have interns looking over them as well."

jeonghan led us out of his office and once we're in the corridor, he continued, "mingyu has a stage ii brain cancer. he's still going strong, that boy is really. jeon wonwoo is the intern looking over him and he's an intern from gangnam medical university. i'm not sure if you've heard of him before, i heard he's pretty famous."

"i did hear of him before, jeonghan ssi. he's one of the few that achieved full marks in our entrance exams," i answered, a small pit of jealousy in my stomach. wonwoo and i knew each other before the entrance exams, we attended the same high school and we were kind of friends. but that's another story to tell, not the story to tell now. i just hope i don't bump into him.

jeonghan hummed, "wow, kids these days. i only achieved 90% on my university entrance exams, if i remember correctly. anyways. jihoon has the rarest type of kidney cancer: sarcoma. we're trying to continue to conduct surgery so we can take the cancer cells out. that's out of your concerns. jihoon is being looked after by kwon soonyoung. do you know him?"

i stopped in my tracks. what are the odds? "we, um, we attended the same high school." i said.

jeonghan's eyes brightened, "even better! then at least i know you and soonyoung ssi would get along. well, since mingyu, jihoon and junhui share a big room, so you, soonyoung ssi and wonwoo ssi will bump into each other quite often. we're here."

i gulped and followed doctor yoon into the room. the first person i saw, which to my dislike, was wonwoo. i widened my eyes, hoping that the older didn't see me. unfortunately, wonwoo turned around from mingyu just the moment i stepped into the room. our eyes met and i could instantly feel anger boiling in my stomach. 

"you've got to be kidding me," i muttered in chinese so that the others didn't understand me, but an unexpectedly bright voice chirped next to me.

"woah! don't say mean stuff to wonwoo!" a chinese phrase. wait, a chinese phrase? i turned around and frowned, "how do you know chinese?"

the boy grinned, "i'm wen junhui! nice to meet you." he held his hand out for me to shake. i was in awe of how cheerful the boy is. how can he be so happy in a motherfucking hospital?

"um, i'm xu minghao, nice to meet you, too." i shook his hand and his smile grew wider. 

doctor yoon turned around at our exchange and smiled, "great, you introduced yourself. junhui ah, myungho's going to look after you for the, uh, next month or so. he's an intern here just like soonyoung ssi and wonwoo ssi, so please be nice to him, alright?" 

junhui smiled, cocked his head and scratched the back of his head, "what do you mean, doctor yoon? i'm never mean to the interns here!"

doctor yoon snickered, "yeah, right. well, i'll leave you two to learn about each other. i'll go check on the other patients." with that, jeonghan left and left me with the oddly cheerful bitch.

"uhm, how old are you?" i asked. he smiled, "i just turned 21 last year. how about you?"

"oh, i'm only 19. so, junhui hyung."

junhui tensed up and relaxed almost an instant later, "please don't call me that. you're from china too, aren't you? we don't have honorifics there, so please don't call me 'hyung' or whatever. it's not even our native language." 

i sat up straighter in my seat at his words. "uh, alright. you can, like, not answer if you don't want to, but when did you find out you have lung cancer?"

junhui thought for a while and shrugged, "i guess it's kind of your responsibility to know how and when i found out. basically, i was running laps during pe lesson one day. and then, like, i just started breathing really heavily in the middle of my second lap. i told my coach i wasn't feeling well, but he told me to continue. and then i started feeling my chest tighten up. i had to stop and he told me to stop to rest as well.

"but it didn't go away. even after i rested for the rest of that day, i still had chest pain for the rest of the week. so my parents went to the doctor's with me and there, the doctor helped me book a check-up in this hospital. we checked up and then later, doctor choi diagnosed me with stage i lung cancer. i've been here since i'm 16. so, it's okay if you tell me i have one month left. i know that minghao." junhui smiled and his eyes disappeared into little crescent moons, faint dimples showing themselves on either side of his lips. 

then i don't get it. how is he still smiling? how is he still smiling even though he knows he's going to die a month later? how is he still so hopeful, so cheerful despite knowing his life isn't in his control at all?

"how are you still smiling?" i asked quietly. he had to concentrate for a moment more before he registered my question. he chuckled lightly and shrugged, "dunno, really. i guess it's just me."

i looked up at his face. junhui looked confused by my sudden action. i mean, i would too, but he looked extra surprised. 

"i'm going to make your last month the best month you ever experienced," i said, determination clearly heard from my voice.

junhui chuckled in almost a teasing way, "how, myungho, or minghao, whatever your name is? you do know i'm dying in a month."

i raised my eyebrow and leaned forward, a way to show i was challenging his way of talking, "yeah, but does it look like i give a fuck?"

junhui leaned back to his pillow and sighed contently, "and how is today already good?"

"you met me," i said cockily, which made him laugh. i smiled. a genuine smile, unlike the ones i've been showing people today.