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JUN was still smiling. that cheerful motherfucker is still smiling knowing he has nineteen days to live. stupid motherfucker.
"how is jun still smiling?" soonyoung asked once we were in the resting room for the interns. wonwoo was off somewhere, god knows where. but soonyoung was stressed as hell as well. jihoon has been mentally breaking down ever since yesterday and soonyoung has been exhausted trying to calm him down.
i shrugged, sighing and sipping my coffee. i've stopped asking myself that question ever since yesterday since it just stressed me so much. i wanted to know how jun was still smiling, but i just gave up trying to find out why. jun must have his reasons, but i'm not one to pry.
"aren't you curious?" soonyoung asked, sitting down in front of me with a cup of green tea (i can never understand his taste), "aren't you curious why he's still so happy despite knowing he has nineteen days to live?"
i stopped sipping on my coffee and looked up, glaring at soonyoung, "do not remind me of how short he has."
soonyoung backed up and rolled his eyes, "jeez, 'm sorry. why are you so upset anyway? i've seen interns getting sad over their patient passing away, so do not use that excuse on me. why are you extra depressed about jun? is something going on in between you two? hm? tell me—"
"tell soonyoung what?" came a third voice. we both turned at the door, our frowns disappearing quickly.
"j-jun! what are you doing here?" i asked. then my frown reappeared, "my god! jun! what are you doing out of bed?"
jun chuckled and went to the seat next to me, pulling the chair out and sitting down, "i asked for doctor yoon's permission. he allowed me to come out to walk around the hospital garden. i need an escort, though, so..." he dragged on, eyes looking dead into mine. i gulped, the familiar blush covering my cheeks. out of the corner of my eyes, i saw soonyoung grinning and slipping out of our resting room.
"uh-uhm, sure." i stuttered. for fuck's sake! i cursed mentally at myself, why the fuck did you stutter?
jun's beautiful smile surfaced on his face and i felt myself smiling subconsciously, "great! come on, hao, this is going to be so fun!"
a few minutes later, we were at the garden and jun, oh my god, jun, he's so beautiful. the entire time he was practically glowing and he was smiling so, so much. i swear i've never seen jun so happy and pure-looking. how long has he been stuck inside?
"hao! you're spacing out." jun pouted and shook my arm. i looked over at him and smiled softly, "sorry. is there anything wrong?"
jun shook his head, "nah. i just missed talking to you. so, how has your day been?"
my smile dropped for an instant, but it went back up (for the sake of jun), "it's been pretty stressful, just like any other day. hey, jun, what's the day today?"
"june the eighth. why?"
i perked up and i swear i felt myself beam, and i never beam, "your birthday is in two days! what do you want? i'll buy anything, so don't worry about the price—"
"you can't buy me health, can you?" jun smiled sadly. he looked up with his doe-like eyes. i felt my smile drop. jun's smile didn't flatter when a tear dropped from his right eye, which i hurried to wipe it away.
"i've been wishing that i get better every year. it never worked." he looked up at the sky, and chuckled, "i think the sky hates me, minghao," he looked at me and smiled, tears still racing down his cheeks, "do you think the sky hates me?"
i shook my head and smiled softly, "no, of course not. why would the sky hate you, jun?"
jun shrugged, chuckling — at himself or at my question, i don't know — and shaking his head, "i don't know. maybe the sky thinks i'm too helpless it just stopped receiving my wishes." jun sighed, "i also wished for another thing each year. but you can't buy me that either."
"tell me, jun." i said.
jun looked at me, more tears pricking his eyes, "i want my parents to come to see me. at least once before i'm gone."
silence. we remained silent for a few minutes before jun cleared his throat, visibly backing away from me and removing my hands from his cheeks, "i-i'm sorry. you couldn't bring me that either. i-i don't know why i'm telling you this. i'm so sorry."
i cleared my throat, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans and muttering 'it's fine, don't worry about it' under my breath. we got awkward so quickly it's actually embarrassing. there was a moment when i really wanted to close the gap between us, but i don't feel that way towards jun... right?
—
"well, his parents never visited him once from what i could remember." was what jihoon said when i asked about jun's parents. i frowned, "are you sure why?"
jihoon frowned and shook his head, "i guess it could be because his parents went back to china. but i honestly have no idea. i know that doctor yoon and doctor choi have been trying to inform them about jun's situation and worsening, um, condition. they still funded jun's stay in the hospital, but they never replied to the emails, the voicemails; nothing. i don't know, they just disappeared, i suppose."
i sighed and rubbed my temples with my thumbs, "where the fuck are they?" i said in frustration.
jihoon chuckled, "why are you so interested in where his parents are, myungho ssi?"
i opened my mouth, about to tell him what jun said. but i decided against it. it's jun's wish, i shouldn't be the messenger bird and tell jihoon straight up what jun was hoping for. "i, uh, just wanted to know."
jihoon snorted, "yeah, right. anyways, get lost, kid."
