TO LIVE. jnh ✓

three

—

"HEY, are you sure you're going to be okay?" soonyoung asked me as soon as i went into the room. i looked over at him and smiled, tilting my head, "why wouldn't i be?"

soonyoung looks way too uncomfortable that i understood what he meant without him needing to tell me. i let out a soft sigh and shook my head, "well, there isn't anything i can do about it, i'll just have to accept it, don't i?"

soonyoung nodded patted me on the back, "i'm glad you aren't crumbling to bits yet. just let me or wonwoo know if you need any help or anything, alright?" with that, and my nodding of confirmation, we both went back to our respective works.

since jun is still in the icu (and i don't really expect him to be able to come out sooner or, well, yeah), i've been assigned to another patient. his name is changmin and turns out, he knows jacob as well. he knew jacob from work and was only admitted to the hospital two years ago. 

the two of us got along pretty well despite our one year difference and while he's more of a shy type in front of me, i could tell he could be chaotic and loud when he wants to. how do i know that? well, his boyfriend — assumed boyfriend — came to visit him and my god is changmin loud.

"is he your boyfriend?" i asked after the boy with pink hair left. changmin looked up from his hot lemon tea and frowned, "who, chanhee?"

i nodded, assuming that's what the pink boy's name was. changmin chuckled and shook his head, "nah, we're just friends."

i snickered and rolled my eyes as i checked his vitals, "yeah, right. please just don't kiss in front of me."

with that, changmin's face went beet red and he put down his lemon tea, "h-hey! hyung! d-don't go away! hey!"

i chuckled lightly as i went over to the room jun, mingyu and jihoon shared. mingyu was still in the icu and jun, well, yeah, and so, jihoon is all alone in that big room. i knocked twice and went in, trying to balance jihoon's lunch in a blue tray while opening the door.

jihoon looked up from his computer and smiled at me, "hey there, minghao."

i smiled back, "hey, jihoon hyung. here's your lunch."

he thanked me, put away his computer and started digging in. as i checked his vitals, i peered over at his computer screen. i widened my eyes at how complicated everything looked, "holy moly, what are you doing?"

jihoon glanced up to see what i was talking about and when he saw that i was looking at his computer screen, he blushed and quickly scrambled to close his laptop, "u-uhm, it's nothing!"

i raised my eyebrow and grinned, "i'm sure it's something special. tell me, hyung." he shook his head and i grinned even more, "i promise i won't tell soonyoung hyung."

with that, jihoon looked up at me and smiled, "promise?"

i nodded, "promise."

he sighed and nodded, "okay. well, i was into composing back in high school and i've been trying to compose something ever since. i've composed quite a few songs before, but this one i'm working on is for soonyoung. it's so that, you know, he'll have something to remember me by when i'm, uh, gone."

my eyes widened at how jihoon thought of all this. this man is in a fucking hospital and is probably going to, uh, die soon but he's thinking of how his boyfriend would remember him when he's gone. and the way is by a song? my god is this man a fucking genius. 

"that is so amazing." i commented, "how— how did you even learn how to compose?"

jihoon chuckled lightly and scratched the back of his nape, "well, i just kind of learnt it by myself. it's not that hard when you get a hold of it..."

i snorted, "not that hard, my ass! i can't even think of where an alphabet is in alphabetical order without singing the alphabetical song! you, jihoon hyung, you're a mother fucking genius."

jihoon laughed, "don't say it like that. but honestly, composing brings me so much joy and comfort it's kind of what i do when i'm feeling down or just don't feel like living anymore. it's my comfort zone."

i cooed at the word choices he used, "how do you use such beautiful ways to interpret normal things?" i then realised, "oh wait, that's what lyricists do. wait— are you a lyricist as well?"

jihoon cracked a smile and nodded, 'yep. does this sound cool to you?"

i laughed and smiled, "of course! god, if you ever release your songs, i can proudly tell people i know this guy!"

—

i knocked twice on jun's door and when he said i could come in, i pushed open the door with my left arm. i smiled at him and jun smiled back. i carried his tray of dinner and what he didn't know was that there was something else in the tote bag i carried with me.

i place jun's tray on his bedside nightstand and leaned down to give him a peck. jun chuckled and gripped my back, guiding me to sit on his bed instead of the chair. i smiled against his lips.

a few minutes later, we broke apart and i giggled, "hey, there."

jun grinned, "hey. what do you have in your tote bag?"

my smile dropped slightly at how observant he is. jun saw my reaction and laughed, "i've been wondering ever since you opened that door. so, what's in it?"

i smiled and scratched the back of my nape, "uhm, it's nothing much. just think of it as a gift, perhaps?"

i took the projector out, and jun's eyes widened to the size of a tennis ball. my smile grew, "it's a galaxy projector i bought off ebay. it's pretty pricey, but, you know, you probably won't have a chance to go out and see the galaxy with me. so, i thought, why not make your hospital room a galaxy of our own since you have a single room?"

i glanced at jun's still widened eyes and chuckled, "i hope you like it."

jun looked over at me and basically tackled me (if it weren't for his injections and needles in him, he would've tackled me to the bed). i laughed and hugged him back.

"thank you, thank you, thank you so, so much! oh my god, minghao, i love you," he said and kissed me, hands caressing both sides of my waist. i smiled against the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck.

jun broke off the kiss and hugged me again. i smiled, "well, let's just appreciate the stars now. how about that, hm?" i felt him nodding and i changed our position so that jun could eat his dinner and i would be cuddling him at the same time.

it was a good night. it was the best night of my entire life, and i'll never regret that i showed him this that night.