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"YOU two are disgusting! get out of my sight! now!" jihoon yelled as i cuddled up against jun. jun stuck out his tongue as i chuckle at the jihoon's childish argument.
"you and soonyoung are just as disgusting and yet i never complain about it," mingyu said, rolling his eyes. wonwoo sighed and just patted mingyu on the shoulder, "you're one to say."
that got mingyu's face to turn beet red and the two best friends laughed out loud. i smiled softly and looked up at jun laughing. he chuckled before looking down at me as well. we smiled at each other, no words needed to be exchanged between us for us to understand what each other are trying to convey.
"huh, look at all the love radiating from this room." another voice came and i immediately jolted away from jun's chest, standing on my two legs and struggled to find my balance for a bit.
jeonghan chuckled as he leant against the white doorframe as seungcheol smiled at my burning face. "i don't mind, don't get it wrong. i just need you to know, all three of you, that you're here for an internship and not for love." said seungcheol, to which me, wonwoo and soonyoung nodded frantically at.
jeonghan laughed, "why are you so serious, cheol? let them have their moment! you just completely ruined it." he folded his arms in front of his chest and sighed, "i'm so glad you two finally got together. you know cheol and i made a bet as to when you two are gonna get together, and unfortunately, cheol won."
jeonghan sighed and passed a few coins to a smiling seungcheol, and jun let out a dismayed sigh, "how could you lose, jeonghan hyung? ("since when did i tell you you could call me 'hyung', you ungrateful brat?" jeonghan yelled, and seungcheol had to hold him back to prevent jeonghan from punching jun to death) i knew you longer than seungcheol ssi ("and you call him seungcheol ssi? you—") and yet seungcheol ssi won? i'm disowning you." jun shook his head from side to side in despair.
"for fuck's sake. can we just get some quietness here?" jihoon sighed, pinching his glabella in frustration. soonyoung cracked a small smile at us, "yeah, please? hoon really needs this."
we all nodded and jeonghan and seungcheol went to mingyu and jihoon respectively. they then came to jun at last. jun smiled cheekily at them, "did you save the best to the last?"
seungcheol scratched the back of his nape and jeonghan smiled half-heartedly, "uh, actually, jun—"
"i'm going to die soon, won't i?" jun asked, looking at the two doctors, "you can tell me the truth, it's alright."
seungcheol looked at jeonghan and jeonghan nodded, sighing softly. seungcheol looked over at me and said, "your, uh, life expectancy got, um, shorter."
silence.
the feeling of my heart breaking.
i ran out of the room before anyone could stop me and found the nearest toilet. i locked myself in one of the stalls and shut the toilet seat, sitting on it and hugging my knees to my chest. i felt the tears rushing out of my eyes and i clutched my knees tightly. no, i told myself, jun will not die.
i'm sure seungcheol and jeonghan explained to jun how long he will have, but i don't want to know. i don't want to count down the days until my love dies and is gone from this world. i don't want to know. i don't need to know. but is a long pain really more reassuring than a short pain? is not knowing when i'll lose him better than knowing so?
what if jun's last day is tomorrow? what if jun's last day is today? do i really want his last impression of me running away? do i really want him to remember me as the one that ran away because i'm a fucking coward?
i wiped my eyes gently as my breath continued to hitch and my nose sniffling. i need to get out of here, but my legs seemed to be glued to my chest and to the toilet seat.
knock knock.
it startled me, but i gently let my feet back down to the ground, "who is it?"
"it's me, hao."
my eyes widened as i swung the door open. wen junhui, in all his glory, standing in front of me with his breathing machine (actually excuse me for my insufficient knowledge of machines lung cancer patients use) on his side. i frowned and leapt up from my position on the toilet seat, "what are you doing here? what are you doing out of bed—"
jun wrapped his left arm — his right arm was gripping the machine — around my shoulders and sighed into my hair. he kissed my hair softly and i felt tears streaming down my cheeks all over again.
"i-i don't w-want to l-lose you." i stuttered, which was unusual for me. yes, i might be shy, but i'm not awkward. i'm still outgoing and confident in myself.
jun rubbed comforting circles on my shoulder and i instantly relaxed, like, ten times. i feel ten times better. is this how it feels when you're being hugged by your soulmate?
"i have five days, hao." jun muttered into my hair and put his head on top of mine. my breath hitched. i looked up from his chest and frowned, "f-five days? a-as in one, two, three, four, five days? as in—"
jun chuckled lightly, "yes, i have five days to live."
another silence.
but this time, i was accepting the truth. i'm not denying it. it's not like with my denial, jun wouldn't die anyway. he dies either way, and i'm in no way to stop it. i know i shouldn't be thinking like this, as an intern as well as jun's lover, but i couldn't help it. sometimes, you just couldn't help it, you know?
"okay." i muttered. "okay." this time, louder. "okay, i can deal with five days. remember how i promised you that you'll have the best month ever?"
jun nodded. and i cracked a smile.
"i'm going to make the next five days the best five days you've ever experienced. and i'm going to make it good today by asking you one question," i said, so full and proud of myself.
jun cocked an eyebrow, "and what is that?"
"will you be my boyfriend, wen junhui?"
jun smiled and kissed me softly, "of course, you dumbass."
