For You Only [MOONSUN]

28

  Moonbyul POV

  My heart races. Everyday. As I wake up, it's already beating so fast... as if it's gonna jump out of my mouth. When I take a shower, I feel it too. I feel it beating to the rhythm of pain every second of my day, afraid it will never beat to another feeling.

  It gets even worse when I see Yongsun. Her skinnier face, paler than before, the dark circles under her eyes showing me she lies when she says it's time for her to sleep. I know she cries right after I leave, so I worry I'll never be able to cry too. By her side, I have to be the strongest, as that's exactly how she pictures me.

  “Byulie?” Her soft voice interrupts my thoughts. Glad she did, as a tear was threatening to fall down already.

  “Huh?” I look at her and smile, stroking her hair. “Did you eat the rice I brought in the morning?” I worry.

  She nods. “I left a bit, though. Could you eat it?”

  I smile again, trying to avoid bringing the conversation to me. “Save it to eat it later, my sun.”

Yong looks at me and smiles, coming closer and hugging me. Her cold nose touches my neck, but her warm embrace keeps me cozy.

“How are they doing?” She murmurs in a still sad tone.

  “Hyejin is actually doing good. They'll probably let her go home this week.” I smile, but it quickly fades away.

  Solar pauses for a few seconds before answering.

  “That’s so good.” Her voice sounds a little bit happier now. “What about Wheeinie?”

  “No big changes.” I sigh “But she's also not doing worse, so we all consider that a miracle.”

  Yong nods, the tip of her nose still touching my neck. “I hope she feels okay in her head.” She mumbles.

  “In her head?” I ask. “What do you mean?”

  “I hope she doesn't know anything, you know? Like... Like in those movies you watch, where they get in  coma and when they wake up...” She pauses, sounding like a kid explaining a movie to their friends. “They don't remember sleeping for so long. That's what I mean.”

  I smile at the explanation the older just told me. “Why do you wish that?” I keep asking.

  “Because if she realizes I left her, I don't know if she'll ever understand why.” She says, her voice getting weaker. It eventually breaks, and all we can hear in this big room is the crying of a girl who I happen to love.

“Y-Yongsun...” I hug her even closer, not really knowing what to say. It sheds my heart in pieces to see her breaking down like that.

  We stay still for a few minutes, the silence that follows her sobbing feels like a lullaby to my heart.

  I look at her. Her nose is all red, just like her cheeks and her eyes. Even her lips are swollen from crying... But she still manages to be so beautiful to me.

  “I’m so sorry I can't help.” I say, leaning towards her and letting our foreheads touch.

  She sniffs and closes her eyes. “It's no one's fault.”, she whispers.

  The tears that I held inside for so long are now set free and run down my face, like a marathon.

  For a brief moment, I feel the guiltiest. But then, a sense of freedom and happiness makes my body shiver.

  “Are you okay?” Solar has her eyes opened, and is staring right at mine.

  I stay silent for a moment. “I just...” I finally vent. “Thought you'd think I wasn't strong enough if I cried. I wanted you to always count on me.”

  She chuckles in a soft way, closes her eyes again and puts her chin on my shoulder, sighing.

  “To be the strongest is to admit you're weak sometimes.” She caresses the back of my head. “And to love someone is to become best friends with weakness itself.” Her lazy giggle let's me know she's getting sleepy.

  I let out a smile. Yong was right, as always.