For You Only [MOONSUN]

35

  Yongsun POV

  I'm laying down on the couch. As by now, I've already had three bottles of soju and, believe me or not, that would be enough to knock me down in any other occasion. This time, unfortunately, I'm still wide awake. I'm facing the ceiling, my legs stop moving and my eyes are constantly going out of focus.

  “Byul-ah”, I whisper. Just the feeling of saying her name pains me. It physically makes my heart ache to think about the girl I hurt. I wipe away my own tears and suddenly laugh at the thought of talking to myself due to the alcohol I had. I sigh.

  “I’m sorry, Byul-ah” I mumble to myself again, this time not even bothering to wipe the tears that uncomfortably fall down to my ears.

  Suddenly, a thought pops up. Should I give her a call? Would it be awkward, or even selfish? Would she pick up? Maybe she would. Would she accept my apologies? Would she listen at all?

  I get up from the couch and walk around the living room, trying to answer my own questions. “Fuck it, I have nothing to lose.” I think.

  Maybe it's the drunk Yongsun taking control, but I dial her number without regrets and wait for her to pick up. It takes a while, which makes me nervous, but she picks up eventually.

  “Why are you calling me?” Moonbyul quickly asks on the other side of the line. There's a lot of noise where she is. What is she doing?

    “Byul, I-” I stop for a second. I didn't think this through, and I sure am drunk as hell. I'm scared of saying some stupid shit... again.

  “Yes?” There's a silence from both sides, and all I can hear is the sound of some awful disco song. But she talks again.

  “Look, Yongsun, I don't get you. I don't get why you're calling me. If there's nothing else you want to say, I think you should hang up.” Her voice keeps getting interrupted by the music and the signal isn't that good either.

  “No, there's something I want to tell you, but it has to be in person, okay? I am kind of drunk, can you come by?” I scream like that would make her listen to me better.

  There's a brief moment of silence. “I don't think so, Yongsun. I'm sorry, just text me what you want to tell me or something. I don't feel like seeing you.” and she hangs up. For a moment, I don't know what to say. I just stay with my phone glued to my ear, like she was still there. I wish she was. I wish she was here taking care of the drunk me like I knew she would if I hadn't messed everything up. But I did, didn't I? So she's not coming.

  “What do I do now”, I say to myself, frowning and looking at the walls in front of me. My lazy thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. “Byul?”, I excitedly say, as I check to see who's calling. Not Byul, but the hospital.

  “Hello, Miss Kim Yongsun?” A male voice says, on the other side of the line. “This is you, right?”

  I nod to no one. “Yes, this is me. Is something wrong with Wheein?” I start to panic.

  “We need you to come here. She's awake. We'll give you the details when you arrive. We tried to contact the other emergency number we had, but they didn't pick up.” The doctor informs.

  “Oh, Moonbyul is busy right now... It's okay, I'm on my way there. Thank you, doctor.” I hang up and quickly get dressed. I just hope my sudden soberness is enough to let me drive at night.

   On my way to the hospital, I force myself to stay awake. I listen to some music and try to call Byul a hundred times, just for her to not pick up at all. “This isn't about me, you dumbass”, I murmur, while trying to call her another time. Voicemail, again. So, this time, I leave her a message after the beep.

  “Byul-ah, hm... Look, I'm not calling you because of us this time. The hospital called me, Wheein woke up. I'm on my way there now. I'm s-sorry I called you before... I was very drunk. I mean, I still am, but... Well, whatever. If you listen to this, please come to the hospital... Hm, that's it, bye.”

  I sigh as I leave the car. How awkward can you be, Yongsun...

  As i get inside the hospital, I already know what to do. I haven't done it once, but I always saw Byul doing it, so I know the procedure. I smile at the lady, who gives me the card to Wheein’s room.

  I don't get to see her, as there was a nurse standing outside of the door, probably waiting fo me.

  “Miss Yongsun?” She asks, acquiring a professional posture.

  “Yes, it's me.” I answer, with only one thing in mind: getting inside that room and hugging Wheein.

  “We’re glad you came. Wheein is awake, but she's not healed yet. She has a lot of broken bones so she's not able to move yet. Avoid physical contact like hugs, it can cause her pain. She's still very fragile, even mentally, so talk to her about good stuff only, if that's okay.” The nurse smiles at me and gives me space to get in the room.

  “Good stuff only”, the woman's advice weirdly echoes in my head. Is it because I'm drunk or because I have nothing good to tell?