For You Only [MOONSUN]

32

  Moonbyul POV

  I slowly close the door behind me, without looking back. Her words stabbed me and the pain is the worse I've ever felt, but I don't feel mad. I feel very calm, in fact. My brain is numb, my hands are unusually warm and my puffy eyes are begging for some rest. But all I feel is nothing.

  I walk home, which is nearby, in silent. I don't dare to look back, not even once, and I honestly don't care about it. I open the door to my apartment, take off my shoes and get  myself in bed. The lights are off, and I close my eyes. 'This was fun.' I whisper. 'Now let me wake up.' I demand to no one, my voice already cracking up. 'Let me wake up, please.' I repeat, over and over, forcing my eyes to be closed, to the point it's hurting me. It takes me too long to understand I won't wake up in a reality where Yongsun is still mine. I lost her, I lost my sun because I couldn't be there for her. I'm alone now.

  I wake up with the sunlight hitting my face. 'Damn, it must be late', I think to myself, slowly opening my eyes and checking my phone: 1PM... And three missed calls from Yongsun. Wow, I slept like a baby.

  I get up to the reminding that me and Solar are no longer a thing. I mean, other than friends. Which, after having a taste of her lips, sucks.
  I dial her number, hesitating. I don't feel like talking to her, but I have to know if something important happened.

  “Hi?” Her voice answers. It's kind of huskier than usual, which means she probably cried herself to sleep yesterday. I know her.

  “What’s up?” I ask, dryly.

  “Byul-ah, are you okay? I called you a few times. What are your plans for today? Do you want to come over and have lunch now?” She stops, probably waiting for an answer, but quickly proceeds. “I’m gonna record for Solarsido with a friend and I was thinking maybe you'd want to join? We're gonna try some snacks.”

  I nod to myself. “Yeah, sure.”, I say, hanging up right after that. If we're supposed to be friends, let's act like it, right?

  I put on some comfortable clothes right before leaving my apartment, not really full of joy. I'm gonna do the hardest not to drift away from her, even if all I feel now is the need to distance myself.

  As I get to her door, I knock. It doesn't take 20 seconds for someone to open the door, but I don't recognize this face.

  “Hi.” She says, with a bright smile on her face. “I’m Sodam. And you are?”

  I can't hide my confused look at first, but I end up remembering Solar mentioned a friend when I called.

  “Hi.” I say, getting in. “Moonbyul. Nice to meet you.” I put my coat on the couch and take off my shoes.

  “Wow, you seem like you're at home!” The short-haired girl giggles.

  “Yeah.” I politely answer. “I've spent a lot of time here.”

  She nods and sits next to me. A few awkward moments after, Yongsun shows up from the kitchen.

  “Oh, Byul. Hi.” She says, smiling to me. I glance at her and she definitely had better days. Her hair is a mess, tied up in a weird way, her eyes are so puffy they seem half the size they were, her nose is red and her lips swollen. But she's still smiling like nothing happened.

  I smile at her and get up. “H-hi.” I stutter. Being around her is being harder than I thought. My ideas are well put and I feel tough when I think about putting me first, but it all melts down as I see her. My whole body responds to her, and I just wanna hug her and tell her it's fine. Even if she was the one who broke my heart.

  “Should we go eat?” Sodam breaks the silence, pointing at the table. There's a lot of food there, and I recognize some of it from the heavy bags I brought yesterday.

  Solar nods. “Let’s go eat.”

  During the meal, no one talks. Until someone breaks the silence.

  “So, you're a really lucky girl from spending so much time here, Moonbyul.” Sodam smiles, before biting her meat.

  I nod. “Yeah, I am.” Solar doesn't even look away from her plate. Sometimes, her eyes pay full attention to Sodam. But never to me.

  “Ah, I wish I could spend a lot of time with Yong too! She's such a girl crush...” Sodam says, looking at Yongsun.

  Did she just call her Yong? And why is Yongsun smiling at her in such a flirty way? And why do I feel like I'm third-wheeling?

  “Ahh, Sodam, don't say those kinds of things.” Solar hits her arm and smiles at her.

  I keep eating my food, trying not to look away from the plate. Things get quiet again. Until I talk, regretting it not even one second later.

  “So, how did you two meet?” I ask, mentally slapping myself right after. I didn't want to know... Why did I ask such thing? And how embarassing can this get?

  “Me and Sodam met in a cafe on the other side of the street. Now we're thinking about starring together in this new program. I don't know a lot yet, the director said they're still figuring out the last details and that gives me some time to get the comeback concept done.” She smiles at me for the first time during lunch.

  “Ah, cool!” I answer. Nope, not cool at all. Very much the opposite, actually. The words aren't getting out of my mouth correctly... God, I wish I never accepted this invitation.