For You Only [MOONSUN]

31

  Yongsun POV

  “For two weeks or so, nothing new happened. Our daily plans started to get more repetitive as days went by. Our group was supposed to get ready for a new album, and since Wheein’s big news began to spread around RBW, the producers wanted us to start working around with ideas and concepts. We'd pick a few of them, and let Wheein give her opinion when her situation got better.

  They were full of hope that she would wake up, otherwise they wouldn't be getting ready for a group comeback.

   Me and Byul worked hard to set our minds to a positive attitude too, but it was harder for us since the miracle situation didn't repeat itself again. We agreed with the producers, though, and that was why our days started to get fuller and fuller until we couldn't get a minute to ourselves.

  Hyejin left the hospital a few days after the “hand-squeezing miracle”, but she had a few other projects and asked us to take care of the comeback ideas. We gladly agreed, but leaving the work to the two of us, plus the hospital visits and personal stuff... We felt distant from one another. She'd barely sleep over, since she stayed at her place to work better. I would sleep alone almost everyday, and spend my daytime alone too. Not only I felt the pressure, but the loneliness that came with it.”

  I close my diary and sigh. Today I wrote a lot about how I've been feeling, but couldn't even come up with an idea for the comeback. 'Great, Yongsun', I mumble to myself.

  I get up and tie my hair. Someone knocks at the door. 'Must be the food.' I think, looking through the magic eye.

  On the other side of the apartment, there's a pretty girl. 'Moonbyul Yi', I whisper, letting a smile show up on my face. But it quickly fades away as the feeling of missing her starts to turn into sadness. I open the door.

  “Sorry, sorry, let me pass.” She says, carrying two massive bags to the kitchen. “I brought food for years.” She chuckles.

  “Byul...” I walk up to her. “What are you doing here?”

  “Huh? Can't I visit you?” She looks at me, confused. I missed her sweet face. I missed noticing the details on her skin, her teeth showing, her lips, her cute nose, her eyes... Oh, I missed her. But she's here. Shouldn't I be happy she's here?

  “Byul-ah, you didn't answer my calls. Nor my texts.” I mumble. “You didn't even come here once.”

  The girl gets closer to me, raising her arms to call me for an hug, but I stay put. I don't feel like it.
 
  “Yong?” She calls, her daze even more confused than before, and somehow sad now. I don't answer.

  “Yongsun?” She calls again. “Hey, what's up?”

  Tears start to make their way down my cheeks. “B-byul... What am I to you?”

  She holds my hand, looking at me in the eyes. “What do you mean” She wipes my tears with her thumb. “Yong, I've been working very hard. I'm sorry I didn't have time for you. It's hard for me to find time for personal stuff when work gets so busy...” She whispers, trying to make me understand.

  The truth is I don't. I don't understand.

  “What am I to you, Moonbyul?” I repeat, this time with anger in my voice. “If you can't find time for me when things get harder, how can we work out?” I look at her. “How can you be with someone who doesn't have time for you?” I slowly step away from her.

  “W-what?” She mumbles. Her voice is cracking up already, her nose tip gets red and so do her cheeks, right before a few tears fall down. “What now?”

  I look at her, frowning. “Byul-ah, I think we should be just friends until you figure your priorities out.” I look away. I can't bare to see her cry, but I have to set myself free from the idea of loving her.

She doesn't answer. We stay like that for a bit, I can hear her sniffing and repetitively cleaning her eyes with her sweater, but she doesn't say a word. A few minutes later, she walks to the door and leaves, slowly closing it behind her. She wasn't annoyed or mad at me. She was peaceful. Or so I believed.