metanoia ~ regulus black

tragic valentines

February 14th was fast approaching, for some Hogwarts students it meant dates and cuddles with their partner, for some it meant moping alone wishing they were loved, for Cassandra the only thing it marked was the first Hogsmede weekend without Matty.

She had been invited to go with the Maruaders, Lucy and Alice also offered and so did several boys hoping to snag a Valentines date. She turned them all down and decided to spend the day alone. As much as she was trying to put herself back out into life milestones like this were difficult and she didn't want to burden anyone with her moodiness.

How she ended up laying out underneath her favourite cherry tree beside the lake, which was now bare from the winter, drunk out of her mind and chain smoking cigarettes she could not remember. All she knew was that she had started drinking around one in the afternoon and now she was here.

A million drunken thoughts were going through her mind but she tried her best to block them out, they would only make her feel worse.

A perfect distraction appeared in the form of Regulus Black, had it been any other time Cassie would've been enraged by the mere sight of the beautiful boy but due to her dire need for a distraction and her lack of logical thoughts caused by alcohol she was happy to see anyone.

He walked along the edge of the black lake perfectly unaware of her presence.

"Black!" Shouted Cassie. He turned quickly to look at her, as if he thought he was imagining things. He approached her carefully, like one wrong move would cause irrevocable damage.

"Cassandra?" He asked quietly, his icy eyes squinting in the dark.

Cassie gulped, she was starting to wonder if calling him to her was a good idea. "Alone on Valentine's Day? How tragic." She commented before she could stop herself.

He sat down near her, leaving a gap big enough to fit another person between them. "It's not like I've got anyone to see." He said quietly, "And you're one to talk, your alone and drunk on Valentine's Day."

Cassie narrowed her eyes at him, "Careful," she warned. He went quiet after she said this, she was right, he was in no position to judge her. "How could you tell anyway? That I'm drunk, I mean."

"The bottle next to you was a pretty big tell."

"Ah," Cassie sighed, "Makes sense."

Cassie offered the bottle of vodka to Regulus silently, he took it and took two large gulps, it burned his throat but he liked it nonetheless. He noticed her pulling out a cigarette, she didn't offer him one but he needed a smoke so he pulled out one of his own.

The two sat there silently smoking for a while.

"New bracelet?" Regulus asked quietly after a long drag on his cigarette.

Cassie looked down at the silver bracelet with the padlock charm that hung beautifully on her left wrist, "Not really new. Matty gave me it for Christmas."

Regulus stiffened up a little at the mention of Matty, he was still unsure how to approach the subject with her. "Oh. I'm sorry, I know it must be hard to talk about him."

"It is. But I like talking about him, it keeps his memory alive." She said, her voice turning soft. The way she spoke reminded Regulus of how she used to be. Regulus nodded in the dark and they went into silence for a little while.

"I still don't like you by the way," Cassie said as she shuffled closer to him under the tree.

"I appreciate the honesty," he said back. He couldn't help but notice how close they were, he could feel her warm radiating off of her.

"If I was being completely honest I'd probably say I hate you." She said, getting even closer.

They were so close that Regulus could feel her warm breath that smelt of cigarettes and strawberries fanning onto his face.

"Nice to hear that," he said breathlessly, he hasn't been those close to her for so long. Her green eyes meeting his icy blue ones was enough to make any thoughts in his head disappear. "Can I kiss you?" The words left his mouth in a whisper before he could stop himself.

She didn't respond. She couldn't get the words out. Instead she crashed her lips against his. She washed over him like a wave or warmth. Shivers of pleasure shot through Cassie as Regulus deepened the kiss, he silenced her thoughts. Cassie's fingers ran through his soft silky hair, it was one of the only soft things about him and she loved it. He lifted her onto his lap and leant his back against the tree, his hands travelled a little underneath her shirt, his fingers brushed against her skin, leaving traces of electricity whether he touched. Their hips were molded together as they moved against eachother.

Cassie whispered Regulus' name in his ear and a tingle went down his spine, it felt so good to hear her say his name again.

"So beautiful," Regulus murmured, staring into her sparkling green eyes when they stopped for air.

Before Cassie could react he was kissing her again, the kind of kiss that takes your thoughts away and only leaves room for feeling. After many moments their kissed slowed and became soft and tender, almost loving.

Cassie pulled away breathlessly and moved off of his lap. "That was..." she trailed off, not knowing what to say. Now they weren't kissing anymore all of her thoughts came crashing in. "That shouldn't have happened." She said finally.

Even though Regulus wasn't surprised her words still stung.

"That can't happen again." She said firmly.

"Agreed," Regulus said coldly, forcing himself to put up a wall. He stood up and walked away without another word. Whilst Cassie waited to see if he would look back Regulus forced himself to keep his eyes ahead of him. If he couldn't have her he would at least demand respect. He wouldn't be some little boy begging for his crush to like him back.