All I need is that horse

Chapter 23

I looked at my self in my mom's brother's length long mirror in the guess room. I looked down at myself. I had on a black lacy knee high length dress on. Plus a horseshoe nail heart necklace that Newt had given me for my sixteenth birthday. I touched it tenderly almost as if it was gonna break. I looked back at my reflection. My hair was perfectly curled. All in all I looked good except for my face. My eyes had bags under them from not sleeping lately and I had a forced smile on my face. I slipped on my black cowboy boots on to finish my funeral cloths off.

I looked out the window on the side wall. I could see Winter wondering around her pasture. Some how I had talked my aunt into dragging along my horse. She said it would be no problem. She was right. The only problem I found was the one my uncle's wife had created. She didn't like the way winter acted. She said she's too wild. I hope we were talking about the same horse I slept with in the pasture the first night she came home. I sighed. I didn't have any energy to fight with anyone again. Especially not to day. Today is the day Newt is laid to rest in Montana. Back at home. A knock came from the door.

"Come in" my raspy voice calls out.

My voice was raspy from screaming at the top of my lungs last night. I stood in the grave yard were my family is buried and were Newt will be laid to rest. I just took a few minutes of screaming at God.

"Are you ready honey?" my uncle called.

"We have to get going if we want to be there when he is placed in the ground" he explained.

To be honest I didn't want to go. I didn't want the truth of Newt being dead to be true. I wanted this to be a damn nightmare. I just nodded. I held my head down as I stepped out of the front door. I looked up to a hill. Past that hill and down in the valley laid the family grave yard. Where Newt was waiting to be buried. I walked up the hill quietly as my uncle and my aunt walked at my sides.

"You ok?" my uncle leaned in. I shook my head no.

I was gonna be honest. I wasn't ok. As I walked down the hill I looked up for the first time all day. People stood everywhere. Everyone with the same sorrow expression. The only happy people there's were the three little boys that were running around playing tag. I smiled. They were some how related to Newt. But that wasn't why I was smiling. I was smiling cause they didn't know what was going. They were still happy and couldn't feel the pain of death in their hearts yet. They were having a great time and not letting pain come into their hearts.

"Eliza?" a voice from the past asked

I spun around to see an old friend from the past. Newt's younger brother Lucius.

"Lucius!!" I almost yelled.

"Oh Eliza" He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into a tight hug.

Newt was three years older then me while Lucius was just a year older. Lucius and Newt barely hanged out but I knew Lucius. Who use to be a skinny little boy but now he was just the opposite. Even under his suit I could tell he had muscles every where. I'm sure he had an eight pack under his white suit shirt.

"You look so different" I looked back over him as I stepped away from him.

"I could say the same for you. You blossomed my dear into a very beautiful woman" he said as he obviously was looking me up and down. I rolled my eyes.

"My bother was a smart man for claiming you" he looked down at the ground from mentioning his dead brother.

"We were never a thing Lucius" I stated. That got his attention.

"You sure about that. I mean the connection you two had. That was something special. You two were something. Matter if you want to admit it or not" he struggled his shoulders.

At that point I saw it. I saw the feelings that me and Newt shared. I looked over at the casket two yards away from me. That boy had made so many moves on me but I only looked past them as child's play. Sure we never had fun in the bed but Newt was sorta like my boyfriend. He protected me like I was his gold. He loved me even on my worst days. He knew when I needed my space and he knew when to hug me. He knew me like I was the back of his hand. And I knew him like he was mine. I looked back at Lucius my face showing a million emotions. I had lost my brother, my best friend, my rock, and my so called boyfriend. I had lost everything. Except for your horse Newt's voice whispered in my mind. I turned around to look up at the hill. I wasn't suppose to be here.

"Lucius I can't bury him. I just can't" I started to run off.

Tears streamed down my face as I ran up the hill. The grass was wet from last night's rain. My boots slipped a little be for I hit the top of the hill. I turned around to take one last glance at the funeral. Lucius starred up at me but I just looked away. I started to race down the hill to the horse pastures. My boots slipped on the grass again but I stayed on my feet. The tears started to run faster and faster down my face. I hit the bottom of the hill and took off as if the devil himself was after me. I reached the metal gate I swung it open.

Winter had a halter. I grabbed a lead rope off the fence. I tied one end of the lead rope on the right side of the halter and the other end on the left side. I gripped on to Winter's black mane with my hand. I flung my body up onto Winter's bare back. I straightened out my dress with a blurry vision of tears before I kicked Winter to run out of the gate.

She took off at a gallop. Her black mane flying back as my dirty blond hair flew back with it. My tears were drying out from the wind as we raced back to the field. We were racing towards the field we had ran in the first time I rode her. I pulled her to a stop by the time we reached the field. I felt so free and alive just being on her. My worries were pretty much gone. I smiled as I could make out the gentle wind blowing over the grass. It was just so peaceful here. Here on Winter with no distractions. I heard a click of a camera. I turned to the side woods. Lucius stood there with an old camera. Like the ones that when you take a picture the picture would slid out of it.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Newt said the last time I talked to him was when you showed Winter off to me to take a picture of you two. Just so happens your in a black knee high lace dress riding bare back with only a halter to steer her. It's a keeper" he looked down at the photo.

"Well this is Winter and I got to go" I kicked Winter back towards to the house. I eventually made it home. I slowly slid off of Winter. I spotted a picture nailed to the wall by Sparling's stall. I walked over and snatched it from the nail. It was the picture that Lucius had taken earlier. I was sitting there on Winter. Both of us starring off into the distance. It was a perfect picture of us. I flipped it over. Lucius's sloppy hand writing was on the back.

Newt only thought you needed your horse. You only need your horse.

It read. I looked out side of the barn towards the hill. For some reason my feet started to carry me towards the hill. I reached the top and looked down. The freshly dug up ground was clear enough to see that from up here. I smiled and started to walk down the hill. I stopped in front of his stone. I breathed in. My breathing was getting shallow.

"Well umm..." I paused and looked at the stone.

"You were right Newt. I got winter to lean on now that your gone. I... I miss...you" I whispered as I grabbed a handful of his freshly dug up dirt.

I threw it on his grave before I turned back to the barn. I had lost everything but gained plenty. I had lost my dad, my mom and Newt. But I have gained strength, hope and Winter. Before we can smile and love greatly we must first shed a few tears. I have learned to cry and now I can walk back home with a smile on my face. A true smile.

THE END

It's over. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writhing it. I just started to publish the first couple of chapters in RODEO LOVE. So feel free to read that book too. It's kinda on the same lines of this one just better. Lol. Please check it out. Thanks for reading every one.