Being in Love With You

#13

Evan's P.O.V.

After I got into a fight with Mila, I went to the beach for some time alone. And then everyone decided to come and witness my anxiety run wild and my mental break down come alive.

And of course let's not forget Mila's and I continuation of our fight that escalated even more. Now, I know every couple fights so I should be okay with these circumstances or at least good enough to want to get on with my life and figure a way to get back into her life.

Newsflash, my life isn't like any others. Not to mention, I have a terrible example of what a healthy and stable relationship should look like so, yes when I get into an argument with my girlfriend, I want to chug down the closet alcohol I can find to get the pain to stop feeling the way it does.

Being as the last thing I remember was driving off to wherever, I find myself on a couch with two empty bottles of whiskey and a half finished bottle of vodka. Also, I had a massive hang over. I went to get up and groaned at the fact that my brain felt like a beating drum being banged repeatedly. I tried again and became successful. I looked around still confused as to where I am.

The good thing about this is that I am still clothed so I just got passed out drunk, the bad news is, I have no idea where I am. I wondered around for a little bit until I saw a picture of my mom, Melanie and my dad.

I am at one of my dad's many houses. I think this is house number 4. Maybe, who knows. At this point, I really could care less. I then went into the kitchen since a little bit of this house was coming back to me. I remembered where I kept the aspirin in these places because it was my escape if the beach was a no go.

I opened the bottle and got two out. I then got myself a glass of water and drank it letting the pills be easier to go down.

I then heard my phone ring. I went and looked at it. It was Jess. I was going to answer but decided that hearing people talk about how I will get through this and I need help was the last thing I needed. I threw my phone on the couch and started to see what I could do to keep myself company while I get over this hang over. And then I could go back to drinking and sulking.

5 hours later.......

It's been a couple of hours now and I am back to drinking. I was getting tired of drinking in silence so I thought a little t.v. might help. I turned it on and automatically the news came on. They first talked about my dad and my mom's divorce and then somehow they got my mental breakdown now on video for the whole world to see.

Well, my life is now completely over.

Goodbye, girlfriend. Goodbye, school. And last but not least goodbye, my fucking career.

I walked to where we kept the alcohol. I then broke the glass on the liquor cabinet and brought out ever single alcoholic drink that was there. I then sat down and looked at it. I then opened all of them and took a swing of each one. The burning sensation I got was like no other. At this point, I was back to the beginning. My phone blew up though as I had no care in the world.

I was done trying. Done breathing. Everything hurt. I just wanted the pain to go away.

So, I drank and drank and drank. I drank so much that I was becoming full from all the alcohol in my system. I didn't feel much at this point. All I knew is, I was way past drunk at this point.

I then got up and tried to at least go to the bathroom. With what was left of me I guess I was able to make it and back on the couch. I then closed my eyes as I went to a deep slumber.

I then suddenly woke up with a banging hang over. Sort of like deja vu, if you think about it.

This become my new normal. Get sober and then drunk and do this all over again. At this point, I couldn't even tell you what day it was. It wasn't until I looked at my phone and saw that it was at 30% and it was also April 25th.