Dance for Me

Chapter 47: The aftermath

Eleanor

4 days later

Rubbing my hand on my stomach, I looked out the back window overlooking the garden watching Sofia as she planted flowers along with Jasmine and Carrie.

Brian had been doing everything to distract her away from our new reality. A reality without her dad, without Oscar.

My heart broke every single time she asked for him. She was far too young to understand what happened. After that horrendous day, she slept for almost a whole day.

We all have different ways of dealing with grief. Sofia stopped eating, playing and being happy. I'd often catch her standing in Oscar's office talking as if he was still there.

I cried silently listening to her have a conversation like she used to have with him. She sounded so happy talking, but Oscar was not there. She was imagining him and that broke me.

Brian and I got the doctor involved who believed some of these behaviours to be the result of trauma.

Sofia had witnessed things no child ever should. She was in the middle of a battlefield, being beat to hurt Oscar and witnessing her dad dying.

Hiding behind the door, I covered my mouth as little footsteps ran into the room.

"Yes daddy and I planted your favourite flowers. Come, I'll show you".

She's imagining him again.

Resting my hand on my stomach, I closed my eyes and prayed she'd go. I couldn't cope with any more of her innocent questions.

Opening my eyes, I rested my head back on the wall of Oscar's office and let the tears flow. It still smelt like him.

Even after everything he did, he redeemed himself the moment he stood in front of us. He only knew about the baby for a few minutes, but he took a bullet for us without hesitating. I just wish he was here so I could tell him how I forgive him, love him and want forever with him.

But I couldn't think straight. My father was still out there. I hadn't slept since everything happened. I tried, but the fear he would come back and get me haunted me.

I tried everything. Sleeping with the lights on, sharing a bed with Sofia, even taking sleeping pills. But the pills had no effect with the sheer terror in my mind. Every shadow and every sound frightened me.

The only way I'd sleep is being wrapped up in Oscar's arms in one arm over my stomach adorably as if he was protecting both of us. He protected me from his sadistic brother, but he wasn't here to protect me from the nightmares.

Closing the door to his office, I walked over to his large desk and trailed my fingers over the beautiful mahogany of it. A small smile crept onto my face as flashbacks of our frequent love making took place upon this desk. He was fierce, dominant, possessive, but gentle at the same time. He was a man that loved to be tested and pushed me to my limits, but he always ensured I was ok.

As I sat down on the desk chair, my eyes fell to a photo frame with a picture of Sofia and I.

I should be raging at Oscar for what he did. Everything that happened was because of him. But the moment he protected me and the little one, I forget all the wrongdoings and stood before me was the same man I had fallen in love with.

I still had so many unanswered questions that I needed answering, but with the lack of sleep I didn't care.

Lowering my head on the desk, I looked at the photo and the one beside it. It was the most beautiful photo of Oscar and Sofia as he lifted her high up in the air. Her arms were spread like an eagle and she beamed up at the sky. Oscar had the most heart stopping smile. It was the kind of smile that would make people do a double take. How badly I wished to see it again.