Imagines For Me & You

A Peaceful Dove: John Shelby - Peaky Blinders

A/N: Not my best.
CW: Mentions of death and dealing with grief.

When Martha died it felt like the whole world stopped.

She was your best friend since childhood, she talked to you about everything from her crushes to her future. When she married John Shelby, of whom she loved a lot and who loved her even more, it was the happiest day of her life and yours. To see your best friend happy was the best. You were even the Maid of Honour! Their wedding was probably the closest thing you'd ever get to getting married.

You were always the lesser of the two, something that no one seemed to let you forget. You were never as cheery, never as pretty, never as kind. Unless it came to children. You were guarded and never let anyone close. But Martha still kept you around even when there were better people to talk to.

John loved her and frequently questioned why you were around. Martha would wave it off and talk about something else.

Most of the Shelbys found you too grey, boring and bland. Martha saw you as a rainbow of grey with a thousand and one different kinds of grey and a thousand and one different layers. She saw what few others did, she saw the beauty and the colour of you.

Her death came as an icy shock, chilling everyone to the bone. John had thought that she would get over influenza, he hoped that she would. She was the light to his dark, sad life.

He sunk deeper into himself and ignored his kids, leaving them to Polly. It was heartbreaking.

The day Martha died, Finn took your hand and said, "Does that mean you won't come play with us anymore?" He held back tears as he said it, he didn't want to lose you and Martha at the same time.

"Of course not, darling," you said. "I'll be here as long as you need me."

Something that you had noticed over the years is if you treat children with kindness and respect they often do the same to you. Sadly, the same couldn't be said for adults. Especially not the Shelbys.

After a year, John was still a mess from the war and from Martha's death. Arthur and Thomas weren't much better off but they didn't have kids to worry about. Not that John ever did worry.

All he ever did now was drink and flirt and fuck. There was also both sides of the family business but still, he didn't seem to care too much.

Currently, and sadly, he was waking up from another night of binge drinking. You watched as he groaned and sat up. Your arms crossed and anger evident on your face. Despite the comfortable chair, you weren't the least bit relaxed.

"I sent the kids off, though I suppose you wouldn't care all too much about that."

John blinked, taking in his surroundings. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. Once again, you had found him about to pass out and dragged him home.

"My head hurts."

You scoffed and got up. "Of course it does, you bonehead. You drank yourself into a stupor last night." You chuckled lightly. "You were so drunk, you even hit on me."

John, of course, was shocked by that last part. "Hey, wait, what---"

"You should get ready, change out of yesterday's clothes and all."

You walked out of the room, leaving John to stew in his own thoughts.

•

Another day passed by. The usual amount of chaos that comes about around the Peaky Blinders and the Shelbys as a whole.

Later that night, John drank more than usual at the Garrison and was completely unable to stand, much less walk home. You had no idea what caused this. Most often he'd do it once a month or so, but not back-to-back.