Lumanti (Memory)

Truth About Lies

"Are you going to see another girl in Nepal while Ray is waiting for you here?", Samantha confronted him.

"No, of course not. I am just going to meet her for my parent's sake and I will tell T about it before I go." He hurriedly confessed before she could go around and tell Lumanti about it but she surprised him by saying,

"No, no don't bother telling her. The exams are coming over and we have a group project coming up. I don't want her distracted and dwelling over what you are doing there when we are working here together for a project."

"But I .."

"There is nothing serious right?"

"Ya, that girl already has a boyfriend, so it is just a formality." But formality it was not.

"So just go and deal with it yourself. Why do you want to drag her into this?"

"I guess, you are right." His heart wanted to tell Lumanti everything about it but he felt Samantha was right at that moment and decided to sort this thing out himself without bothering Lumanti about it.

He went to Nepal, visited his sister, travelled around and a week before his departure, he met Reva. He was trying to avoid meeting her as much as possible, but the time had come and he could not ignore it anymore.

He met her at Patan Durbar Square near the museum. She had deep brown eyes and long black hair. She had her square transparent glasses on and was wearing white long dress paired with brown sandals. She waved from her side and took him to her favorite restaurant nearby. They ordered mo:mos to have there and caught up with each other's life. The friendship they lost was trying to seep in through the cracks of conversations. Reva was an aspiring architect and was graduating soon as well. Her parents were pressuring her to get married so she decided to give it a go. To his surprise, she refused to the fact that he had any boyfriend.

Instead, she said, "I do not have any boyfriend. I want to marry someone that my parents choose for me."

He knew that it was a lie because he saw her picture with a guy who was clearly her boyfriend in her Instagram and one of their childhood friend also mentioned to him about her affair. He confronted her about it and her face turned red with embarrassment.

She reluctantly confessed, "I am sorry for lying. My mom told me not to mention any of it. Yes, I had a boyfriend but my family would never accept him because he is not Newar and neither will his family accept me, so we broke up last month. We tried talking with our family but to no avail so we just gave up."

He was surprised to hear that. Some part of his heart thought it was wrong for them to not try hard enough but other side of his knew that this might be the fate of his love as well.

He tried to help and said, "We don't have to go ahead with it, if you don't want. See, I have girlfriend as well, so I understand."

Instead she questioned him, "Then why are you here talking to me? Did you too try talking to your parents about your girlfriend before coming to see me..."

"Not yet. It is bit complicated at my side too," he interrupted.

"What? You haven't?", she was surprised and with regained confidence in her voice, she added, "See, I think YOU don't understand. I don't think you love your girlfriend enough, otherwise why would you be here talking with me when you could have easily avoided this. You don't live here. It shouldn't be a problem for you. You could easily talk to your parents and here you are in front of me, without even trying."

"I will talk with them soon."

"Then why are you wasting both of our times? Why haven't you already talked with them about it? And Listen, for me my parents' wishes are of utmost importance to me. If marrying someone of their choice matters to them, then I am willing to do so. I just want to see them happy."

"Even it means losing your own happiness?"

"Yes, even if it means that. I have made up my mind." There was a hint of reluctance in her voice but she enveloped it well enough.

He was stunned by her answer and furious at her for saying that he didn't love Lumanti. Who is she to judge my relationship when she is not even willing to fight for her own, he thought but didn't say anything. He remained silent. She broke the silence and said, "You can take your time and make a decision and don't worry I won't tell anything to your parents but I would not like to get into a marriage where you are unsure of this."

He simply said, "I understand." while her words were echoing in his ears for a long time.

He returned back to Australia and was lost in his own thoughts most of the times, not knowing what to do. He was worried that he might have to break off his relationship with Lumanti like Reva did to hers. He knew that he would be devastated if he loses her and it would make him anxious that there was a chance of not having any serious future and how this might be unfair to Lumanti. He was in constant battle with himself inside his mind. Lumanti was worried about him and kept on asking him if he was alright.

"What happened? You seem down. Did you talk to your parents about us?"

"No, you know I went to Nepal in Tihar and they didn't come at all. I want to talk to them about it in front of them not through phone. So I have not been able to."

"Ok, its alright..."

"Timing has not been right yet. I will let them know, okay."

"I understand, B. Don't pressure yourself with this. We will deal with this together alright. Don't stress too much."

"Ok." He sighed.

"Is this what is stressing you out?"

"Nothing is stressing me out. I told you I am fine." He raised his voice in exasperation.

"Ok, you don't have to be so rude about it. I am not trying to pressure you to talk to them now. I just wanted to know if that's what is bothering you. You don't have to talk about us anytime soon alright. You take your time and can always talk to me if there is anything."

"I am sorry. I raised my voice. I don't know what's got into me."

"You seem different since your return, you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I will tell you T when time is right. Don't worry." But the time was never right. She stopped pressuring him with her questions, but her concern was evident. He knew that she deserved to know the truth and he needed to make things right. He was certain that he wanted to spend his life with her, so he decided to talk to his parents when they were going to visit him on his birthday eve before he could tell everything to Lumanti.

His parents came over to stay a day before his birthday so that they can arrange birthday puja (ritual) early in the morning. He decided to tell them then about Lumanti but things took another turn. He was walking into the kitchen where his mom was preparing food and other items for his birthday. He thought of telling her then, but she was talking with someone on phone looking worried. He asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Your cousin sister is getting divorced and she and her husband are fighting over the custody of a child. I feel really sad for them, you see that's what happens when you don't marry someone from similar background. I knew she marrying a white guy was a bad news."

While her mother continued over this family issue, he didn't dare to add on to that pile. Talking with them about him and Lumanti was not going to work on his favor, especially at this point when she was particularly sad about a broken marriage based on love. He decided to mention about them in next feasible time, but while he was making that mental decision, his dad came bursting into the room asking, "who is this girl named Ray Jones?' He was shocked and just stammered, 'Who? Ah.. Umm.. I don't... know. Why are you asking?"