SURVIVED

13

I feel my eyes flutter open but every other part of my body felt numb, wriggling my fingers or I think I am but I can't even feel them move, I tried to stand but this serious ache in my head won't let me Then I tried lifting my arm to my head and action that makes me feel almost robotic, I felt this sticky liquid on my hair I craned my neck to see what it is, turns out its blood, my blood 😫 shit, my shoulder looks weirdly placed, I think it shifted, after I sat for a couple of minutes I then grabbed my shirt in my mouth and bit into it while I snapped my shoulder in place and uhhhh that hurt af.

Scrambling to my feet unsuccessfully so I ended up crawling to my bedside at least enough to be able to pull out the first aid box underneath my bed, as I struggled to fix myself clean of his lashes and my mum's hurtful pounds, I dressed my head and put bandages on my torn flesh and my left arm in a broad arm sling in front of my full-length mirror

I heard a door creak, I guess they're back can I get a break... Sigh

"Peaches!!!" Ruby yelled

"Yeah" I replied barely audible not like the itch in my throat would let me

"Peaches" she yelled again then I tried harder and louder then she heard

"Come on down" I couldn't reply to her so a couple of minutes later I heard banging on my door

"who's there? I asked

"You sound down... Are you ok Peach"

"Hey Leo, yea I'm good just tryna rest ya know"

"Umm let me in?" he said more like a question

"Umm right now? I ask my voice husky

"Yeah..." he replied

"I'm tryna rest now Leo later please," I said my trying to keep my voice steady

"Alright if you say so," he said and I heaved a sound of relief

I thought I heard him leave until he spoke up again

"Sure you're fine Peach"

"Yes yes yes I am Daddy" I said exasperated just so he could leave and he did, not after murmuring a million words

***
I laid on the bed staring at the darkness that surrounded me, little by little every single event right from when I could speak started to replay up to date and even before I could realise I had choked on my tears, I sat up and my lungs began to burn with every inhale and exhale and tears just streamed down my eyes

All I could see was how he always descended on me, breaking down all my reflexes until all I can remember was him, his scent, his smile, his hate, the million times he fought his way between my thighs, how he pounded me like a Raven scrapping a dish quite clean, all the times you turned my breast into fruits, then there's my mum and all her anger and disdain, her regrets, my sunflower turned a scarecrow...

I could feel my walls breaking constantly, I squeezed my sheets in my fist trying to calm my racing heart, and my body shook uncontrollably I breathed in and out counting in my head, my whole body ached yet I couldn't make one movement willingly, I desperately wanted to scream not to help but to freedom

This is the billionth time your actions rip me to threads, my expectations becoming my medications, I just want to be loved! I need you to hear me, to hear my pain reaching out to you for a soothing, I need you to understand me, I yearn for your affection, your praise, I yearn for your attention, a mum I crave

I felt my life scratching at the back of my heart wanting an out, I fought it back with all I had, now my breathing was quite normal and my heart rate had slowed, my shaking hands reached to wipe my face, it felt like I had lifted a thousand tons of cement...

I stood up but I began shaking so hard like I'm gonna fall apart, I was hyperventilating, my vision had dulled and it seemed I was seeing things from the lens of a movie my knees buckled I came smashing to the ground and the next was darkness.

*********
"She didn't let me in," Leo said to Ruby

"Feel something ain't right bruh!" Ruby said with a sigh

"Me too I think..." The expression on Ruby's face caused him to turn to the direction of her sight, the staircase and lo and behold the author of confusion herself was descending

"What did you do mum," Ruby asked with a sad sigh

She looked at me and I gave her a questioning look too

"Are you accusing me, do you hate me now? You're picking that cursed being over me? Remember I am your__" she started sobbing but I know better, she was lying, this was a facade

I just pushed passed her and I walked into my room

"Drop the act mum," Ruby said and followed behind me, minutes later we lay on my bed just talking and contemplating how exactly we can take Peaches far from the reach of our abusive mum

"I really should've walked in but I didn't want her to feel forced to open up to us," I said

"True that" Ruby replied

Thirty minutes later we headed back downstairs only to find my mum on the couch eating popcorn and ice cream we bought and watching movies

"What's this" Ruby said snatching the popcorn away from her

She stood up in a haste and faced Ruby, "You wouldn't dare disrespect me as long as you live under my roof you slut"

"What did you say" Ruby replied batting her eyelashes I could tell she was holding back tears and venom

"You heard me!"

"Me a slut!"

"Yes mistress, it surprises me that you still have the effrontery to stand before me as filthy as you are to talk"

"Says the woman who killed her husband to hide the truth, abandons her kids and goes around frolicking with whoever picks interest in her!" Ruby yelled and Mum looked surprised

"O does that surprise you? Ruby continued

"you thought I wouldn't find out? What exactly is Pea's fault here? The fact that you do hard drugs or that you have to sleep around to afford enough money so you can buy your high or the fact that you cheated on our dad and had I and Leo for another man or th___" she was cut short with a slap from our mum

I stepped in between them hastily

" You will not talk to me like that," she said fuming in anger and shame I could tell she was cracking inside

"you will not raise your hand on anyone anymore in this house," Leo said with finality in his voice

"I am your mother and I__

"You've lost that right and you're undeserving to be called a mother" Leo interrupted her as he carried Ruby up the house leaving her there
________________________________________________________

I hear a loud ringing sound... Is that my alarm? Damn it! Why the fuck am I on the ground😫, how did I sleep off, my eyes fluttered open and I stared blankly at the ceiling trying to recollect myself, I turned to face where the screeching and shaking was coming from, the little dog ear shaped box shook on my nightstand and I just stared at it a little longer the ringing suddenly zoning out and I look up just staring blankly while listening to my alarm until a banging on the wall distracted me and I jumped to my feet causing my whole body to ache af and my headlight.

"Peaches! I heard my mum's voice and I froze, I hurried to the door and tossed it open. "Yes mu---" The words wouldn't complete cause the expression on her face was clear anger and my body automatically tensed

"Turn that off before I break it and your bones in the process" she thundered causing me to flinch but as she turned back into her room and slammed the door I relaxed suddenly realizing my shaking limbs as I collapsed back on the ground behind my shut door

I crawled into the bathroom and sat before the mirror, bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks stared back at me, torn flesh and a weird stench invaded my senses...

And a small voice whispered, "Let it hurt, let it burn, let me out of this cage... Please".

****
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