Hell is empty and all the devils are here... I really hope death is peace.
I'm Peaches Fenson, I'm broken and bruised, I'm trapped I can't move, I hustle I grind, I panic, control buh just like the clouds can't shield the sun and the tree can't stop...
...it was at that moment I realised I was tired of being tired of being tired Voices in my head are so random and fast, they tell the story of a child in the past stuck with the scars and bruises on her soul they never heal... My tears as usual betrayed me, they're a Faithful disciple of my pain
I grabbed a couple of pills the ones I got from the store the week I lost Anna which consists of a bottle of diazepam and fentanyl, took my backpack and I bolted out of the house, I could hear Leo's voice calling out to me but I paid deaf ears, I ran to the store to get liquor surprisingly the cashier didn't seem to care if I looked underage she got the cash from me I didn't wait to receive my change, I might as well leave that to her as a tip either way.
I bolted out of the store running as far as my feet could carry, I ran to the one place I found peace, my Elysian
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The one place that held all the happy moments my family shared... I remember mum, dad, Ruby, Leo and I would come here on the weekends but recently it has been just me, it became my escape, now it is my death place... I stood at the top of the waterfall, o I could sight couples afar off with their kids, some with their loved ones but here was I with my pain and hurt, nobody even noticed I was dying, and no one cared as to why I stood there so I did it😫
I was numb from the race, at the same time it seemed my chest was caving in
"I'm so sorry... I'm so so sorry" I whispered
"I let everyone down, I'm such a waste of planet space..." I cried falling to my knees
I pulled out the pills from my backpack, popping the bottle open, a few falling to the ground... The little pills felt alien in my fragile trembling hands... It's an analgesic, I trust it to take the pain away
With a swift movement, they all disappeared down my throat with a large chunk of vodka
I gagged, I shuddered, and my throat immediately tasted numb, but I didn't stop, I kept drinking until the bottle was empty and my headlight
But images of Anna replayed in my head and I wasn't going to give myself the satisfaction of a less painful death when my head kept screaming about all the pretty she burnt
I searched my back for anything sharp to cut with, then I found it, my pocket knife... Anna had gotten it for me for safety and I'd always carried it around
I started cutting through my arms, I slashed and slashed brutally, a motion I was all too familiar with all these years, I kept slashing through both arms even reopening old cuts
The sound of searing skin caused my sobs to dramatically change into hysterical laughter, I was insane and still, I didn't give a fuck in the world, I popped the next bottle open.... taking another huge chunk of vodka I gulped it all down
The movies and stories have always been a lie, overdosing had always been a two minutes thing with them... simple and short was the way to die... A cardiac arrest I guess or maybe a haemorrhage... No one bleeds out for this long did they? But trust me when I tell you it's painful, I felt it I was hanging onto a slim thread as I fought the nausea creeping behind my throat... I felt my stomach twist and churn not in the anxiety kind of way no.. worse
I felt my muscles vibrate, I felt each system shut down, and I felt peace.. that's when I heard it
People screaming they were coming towards me but I wasn't having any of that so I forced myself up my feet and struggled towards the water it seemed everything kicked in at once but I staggered to the edge as I silently prayed they wouldn't get me I could hear distant voices screaming to someone anyone to call the 911 but it was too late as I plugged into the water
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I knew for a fact nobody would take the risk and even if my natural human instinct should kick to want to stay alive or save myself my body was too weak to do anything and in less than seconds I had let go of that lifeline and all I remembered was the smile on Annabel's face the last moment we shared and I smiled as slowly I drifted into nothingness...
a/n: 😫😫🤧 I'm so sorry this chapter went wrong😥😭😭😭 but we all come to this point where everything is hard to carry and it all depends on how we handle it...
Please tap that star, let our baby know she's missed and love you never when a miracle can happen ya know😓 leave a comment telling me how you feel☹️
