SURVIVED

06

"Tell me about your weekend," I asked Belle, we had skipped class and are currently seated in the janitor's closet.

"You don't wanna know trust me" she replied with a sigh

"Same here girl" I replied

"Day in day day out I'm subjected to this..." Belle said pulling her legs to her chest and staring into the void

I scoffed " This shit called life feels fucking rehearsed like a goddamn movie script_" I leaned back into the wall

"the burdens I carry, the pain I endure it fucking hurts to the core, every night another fight.. every day a battle leaving me more and more broken and damaged..." Tears were already welling up in my eyes, we're doing it again

She sad smiled " Just wanted a dad to love me and a mom to accept me but either way this is all I got, that constant voice in my head reminding me I'm the reason for my family's fall out.." she groans as tears slipped her eyes

"This heart is a beating tragedy, wah did I ever do wrong..? Was it the fact that I was born?..._ she lifted her gaze to me "Peach tell me wah is my offence" she continued

"I was too nice, a piece of my heart was their prize, wish I could answer that but the right words I lack Belle... I know you want out I do too but life's wrapped around us like a chain, filled with fears, that overwhelming constant crushing fear that something is going to happen like a persistent feeling of being under threat... hypervigilance that's wah they call it it's more like a physiological arousal.."I said

"I remember I'm supposed to be happy.." she paused smiling

" buh all that surrounds me is darkness, every ounce of joy I had snatched away before I even knew wah life was and all that's left is pain just never-ending pain..." More tears slipped from Belle's eyes

" My teenage years a struggle... I sulk at my desk, lost in my mind too dark for a child.. my teachers ask me child are you a pest?
My mum says focus you have to be the best!
My frail heart yells please put me to rest... I'm just hoping I pass life's test" I said tears rolling out my eyes as images of my past flashed through my mind

She pulled me into a hug as she said "The man who's supposed to love me unconditionally and overprotectively protect me instead taught me love sexually_I-I" She broke out sobbing harder

Shaking my head as I wiped her tears I said

"the moment I signed my name on that family tree, the moment I slipped through that womb, I contacted a disease called HIM, a supposed father figure now a scarecrow"

"I just want to be free, I just want to be me with no insecurities" she said

"I want to wake up and be like every normal teen" she continued

I stayed silent..." peach say something... please" She cried out

"I can't, I don't want to lie to you Belle," I said

"Then don't," she said...

"The demons you fight at night.. those are your insecurities, your fears, your lonely hearts cry, your bruises and scars they are the insults you gave yourself, they are a part of you a part of us we can never escape, They'll keep screaming to make it clear they're still there! They'll remind you that there was love, there was life but like a light, it's fading out!!" I whisper yelled sobbing terribly

"they'll remind you it was because of you"I whispered amidst my sobs

We broke out crying, our walls had crumbled before us now our pain, hurt, sadness, anger, depression, everything was on full display... After what felt like hours of crying we pulled apart and she looked at me and said