My Year with Grandma

This is Your Stop

"Buck up Buttercup! We're here."

I jolted upright in my seat, heart pounding in my chest. I looked around, completely lost. All I saw was trees. Endless trees that lined the single laned road we were traveling on. "What?" I panted. "How?" Didn't we just jump out of a plane? What the living frick?

"We're here, I said." The gigantuan woman named May repeated. "Grandma's house."

"But how? How did we get here?"

"Uhmm. In my car. Clearly." She frowned. "You okay, pumpkin?"

"But we just jumped from the plane!"

"Did we, now?"

"Didn't we?" She just smiled sympathetically like I had lost my mind. I clearly remember jumping from the plane, and not landing. I have no idea what's going on right now. May just quirked an eyebrow at me like I was nuts or something. You know what? Fine. I'll go with being crazy for now. I surveyed the area we were now parked in. "I don't see a house." I said flatly.

"Up that trail right there." She pointed to a narrow walking path just outside my door. She reached into the back seat and pulled up my backpack. "Here ya go."

My bag? But we left that on the plane when we jumped. I am so confused right now. "You're not coming with me? I thought you said you were talking all the way to her house."

"And I did. That trail there is her front door. This is as far as I go, sweet thing."

"But..." I'm a city girl. I don't do nature. There's bugs and stuff.

"Don't worry. You won't get lost."

"What makes you think I won't just turn around and run?"

She winked at me with a knowing smile. "You won't." She's right, I wouldn't have a clue where to run to. I had no idea how I even got in the car, let alone where the heck I was at this moment. For all I know, I could be in Timbuktu.

I stepped out of the car and walked towards the trail. My heart pounded hard against my chest. I glanced back at my muscle-bound escort begging her with my eyes not to leave me. I let my fear wash over me. Surely, she wouldn't just abandon me in the woods, would she? "Please come with me?"

"I can't, sugar. Only blood can enter her home."

"But you said you were my aunt. Doesn't that make you blood?"

"To you, yes. Not to her. Now go on. You'll be fine. Jackie will guide you in the right direction."

"Who's Jackie?"

"A friend of your grandma's."

I investigated the walkway I was to take. Empty. "I don't see anyone." I felt the woman's large hand on my back pushing me onto the path. I tripped forward a few steps from the force and turned to scold her. She was gone. Car and all. I ran in the direction I came from several yards before realizing the road was gone. Trees, nothing but trees. I couldn't make out the trail I was supposed to take. Panic welled up in my chest and I started to hyperventilate. I was stuck in a nightmare and I couldn't wake up. "I don't know where to go!" I screamed into the air. I slumped to my knees and cried for the first time in years. I don't how long I sat there sobbing, holding myself but the appearance of a black and white animal snapped me back into reality. I had never seen a skunk in real life before, but I knew from the nature shows mom watched that this was indeed a skunk. And it was running straight towards me. I jumped to my feet and ran in the opposite direction only glancing back occasionally to see if it had stopped its pursuit. I stayed on my heels as I ran. Who knew these little things could runs so fast? I just hope I'm on the right path because I really don't wanna die out here.

One more quick glance behind me to see if that skunk was still chasing me was just enough of a distraction to keep me from noticing the low growing branch that I had just clotheslined myself with. I hit the ground hard, cushioned only by my backpack which really wasn't a cushion at all. My chest felt like I had been double punched, knocking the wind out of me. I know longer cared if the skunk caught me. I rolled to my side, the pain in my back from landing on a full backpack spiked through rib cage. May's voice rang through my ears. "Bruno! You brute!" I heard her yell. "Let her get her bearings before you go aggressively loving up on her you silly dog." Dog? What dog. It was a skunk chasing me, not a dog. I swear.

I turned my head towards the sound of her voice, opened my eyes and came face to face with the biggest fricken dog I have ever seen in my life! Maybe he just looked that big because I was on the ground, but still. May was holding him by the collar to keep him from mauling me. As I got up, I noticed that the dog stood waist high on her. Good Lord, if she doesn't kill me, that dog surely will. She told him to sit, he complied. I was wonderstruck as I looked around. No trees. Seriously, no. fricken. Trees. anywhere. My mother just dumped me right square into the twilight zone!

"You okay, pumpkin?" May asked resting a hand on my shoulder. "Bruno forgets how big he is sometimes. He means no harm. He's a real lover boy. I'm sorry he jumped on you."

"He jumped on me? I thought I hit a tree."

"Well, he is a big dog. I'm sure it felt like a tree hit you."

"No! I mean an actual tree, um branch. On the trail..." I looked behind me. Of course, there's no trail. Why would there be a trail when there weren't any trees?? I looked back at the bigger than Xena aunt of mine, "So you didn't just dump me off in a forest to find my way to Grandma's house. And I wasn't just chased for miles by a really fast skunk?"

She guffawed. "My, what an imagination you have. First I make you jump out of a plane and then I abandon you in a forest." More laughing.

This is not funny.