My Year with Grandma

The Hottie and the Drummer

Sundays were the only days I had get up earlier than humanly decent in my book because of church; chores had to be done before we had to leave for a 10a.m. service in town which was about a forty-five minute drive. Gram said that though salvation was optional, church attendance was not. You live here, you're going and that's that. I didn't mind too much though because the hottie song leader was freaking gorgeous. Long, dark hair, sexy blue eyes and a slightly too small band T-shirt. He seriously looked like a model and sang like a pop star. This  dude made Mackerel look like a troll and I thought that would have been impossible. Can we say towel worthy?  No one has the right to be that good-looking. Yeah, I enjoyed the weekly pre-preaching concert.

The pastor was kind of funny too. He always had some sort of prop to go with whatever he was talking about. He's brought a backpack, a bow and arrow, a fish tank full of different sized shot glasses glued to the bottom, a few of which he filled with water. By the end of that sermon, he had filled the whole tank to overflowing. Said there was a difference between receiving the Holy Spirit and getting baptized in it. Last week, he had a coffin up there with him talking about the old man is dead and we are new in Christ. He dragged that thing around while talking. Told us to stop resurrecting the old man, leave him dead. It's not who we are anymore. He stomped on the coffin a couple of times and finally, by the end of his sermon, he nailed it shut. For an old guy, he was sure spry. I asked Gram when they were gonna bring out the snakes and swing off the chandeliers; she just laughed and said I'd never forget this sermon.

Only ten more months and I'd be back at home away from all this mumbo jumbo religious stuff. Still, the song leader was hotter than a young Johnny Depp, and we would go to lunch in town afterwards so I know I can handle this church without too much issue.

While we were sitting in the banquet room of the restaurant; just because there was so many of us, Gram looked over at me with emerald green eyes and said something completely unexpected. "When I was your age, I only came to church to ogle the drummer even though my dad is the preacher." She smiled that knowing smile I kind of despised and snickered quietly. "He was tall, blonde and had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. His jeans fit in all the right places and his smile could melt anyone with ease.  My cousin and I both had a crush on him for the longest time."

"Really? Wow. Was he married?"

"Oh, no. He was only seventeen at that time, and he had the admiration and affections of most of the young ladies in and out of the church."

"You ever date him?"

"I did one better. I married him two years later when I was seventeen."

"Your preacher dad let you get married at seventeen?" No way a preacher would let his teen daughter get married unless... nah. Not Miss Holier than Thou, Gram. "You were knocked up, weren't you?"

"Why else would my preacher dad allow such a thing?" So, she wasn't so perfect after all. Learning this brought a smile to my face. Wait a minute. She said the drummer was blonde and blue-eyed. The family pictures show her husband with brown hair and dark eyes like me. Something didn't add up.  She must have noticed my confusion or read my mind, which is the more likely scenario because she followed up with, "However, just before our son was born, he ran off with my cousin to New York. Haven't seen a hide nor hair of either of them since. I met Pops shortly after Jeremy was born and the rest is history."

Still confused. "But you said my dad and Jimmy were twins." I protested.

"In looks, not age." She reminded. "They both looked just like me when they were younger."

"Oh." Right, she did say that. "Does Jimmy know the Jeremy has a different...?"

"Of course. This family may a lot of secrets, Magpie, but that is not one of them. I do my best to avoid such things as they tend to do more harm than good in the long run." She looked at Jimmy with those icy grey/blue eyes of hers, that were green a moment ago. So much for the contacts idea. She has definitely got to be a witch of some sort. But I'd be lying if I said her sideways glance at Jimmy didn't make me wonder just what secrets he had buried. She jarred me from my thoughts with, "Darren, however, is married." I shot her a quizzical look. "The worship leader at church. The one you find so attractive." She explained. Well, this just got a little embarrassing. "All the ladies find him ridiculously attractive. But he only has eyes for his lovely wife, Erin. They have been married about seven years now and have four kids so far."

"So,  it's true, what they say; all the cute ones are married?" I drawled out sarcastically.

"Or gay." She retorted.

"Figures," I mumbled.

"Or evil." She continued.

"Yeah, I get it."